Such a timely photo to grace the cover of Val's fake book. She penned it while in Oklahoma. Which is, in case you haven't heard, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains. Yep. The wavin' wheat sure smelled sweet. Or maybe that was the sunflowers and weeds growing in the vacant lot beside the hotel parking lot. Anyhoo...pony up your fake money and fake-buy Val's fake book that she fake-wrote in Oklahoma, OK?
The Topsy-Turvy World of Hick
When Hick saw the Inverted Mansion, his brain started working overtime. Or perhaps just started working. "THAT'S what I need for Shackytown! A new shed that stands on its head. But how will I do that? I can't work upside down. Even if I could, without my eyeballs popping out and my head popping off, I don't have The Pony here anymore to hold the end of my pulley rope. And if I build it right side up, how will I flip it over?"
"Psst! Hick!" Said a preschooler who was left unattended in a restaurant, having recently escaped from the circus. "All you have to do is turn the PLANS upside down. And then build it the regular way."
Will Hick be able to construct his dream shack? Or will he bandy words with a preschooler? And who do those feet belong to, poking out from the roof peak? (150 words)
Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book
Bob Vila…”I rue the day that I started the whole building show trend. Who knew that Hick would ever watch PBS? This Old House was in better shape that this new fake book.”
Norm Abram…”I am ashamed to have been an ersatz role model for Hick Thevictorian. Don't blame ME for this fake book. Look what Bob hath wrought.”
Joanna Gaines…”I wouldn't even use this fake book to decorate a shelf on a shiplap wall. In fact, I'd toss it out the French doors to distance my beautiful fixer-upper from such garbage. Even Chip could write something better than this, and he barely knows how to write.”
Tarek and Christina El Moussa…”I think we all know what kind of fake book this has turned out to be...it's a FLOP!”
Drew Scott…”Jonathan and I are having a fight to the finish to see who gets stuck with this fake book. Neither one of us want it on our property."
David Visentin…”Hilary Farr loses this one! No question about it! No need to even roll the tape. Just flash the cover of this book on screen, and have 59 minutes of a closeup of my balding head. Because NOBODY is going to say 'LOVE IT' to Thevictorian's fake book."