On the Wingtips of Love
Seamus meets the perfect woman. In a personal ad! He polishes his car and calls for his dog, a heeler. A peach cobbler in the boot, Seamus drives roughshod toward town, mindful of a crash that could leave him hanging over a power line.
Seamus lives outside the box, a straight-laced, well-heeled fellow who speaks with a brogue. Hopefully, this gal will take a shine to him. What’ll she be wearing tonight? Flats, clogs, open-toed heels, mules, Chuck Taylors, or...dare he hope...boogie shoes? And if he toes the line, will she end up in only her slippers?
Across town, the old lady kicks off her Sunday shoes and dons Crocs. She's no longer footloose and fancy free, what with all these kids she doesn't know what to do with.
Will Seamus and his lady make a perfect pair? Or will he get the boot when she socks it to him? (150 words)
Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book
The Good Feet Store…”Get this fake book FREE with a real purchase of $1000 or more.”
Odor Eaters…”This fake book stinks to high heaven. And believe us, we KNOW odors!”
A Summer Stock Troupe Performing "Swan Lake" in a Midwestern Dinner Theater…”This fake book is nowhere near en pointe. Thevictorian doesn't have an arabesque to stand on. We would like to jete' this fake book directly into the wastebasket. No matter how you pirouette it, this fake book is real merde.”
Top-Siders…”Thevictorian could not get a grip on her subject matter. She is headed for rough seas, skidding down a slippery slope, with no hope for smooth sailing in her faux-literary future.”
Boots…”We're made for walkin', and that's just what we'll do! Every day us boots are gonna walk into the loo...and flush this fake book. Until there are no more fake copies left."
Birkenstocks…”This author is not at all sensible, and she makes us uncomfortable."
Crocs…”Our attorney will be issuing a cease-and-desist order forthwith. We refuse to have our name dragged through the mud by this broken-down, so-called author. Even though our name would wash clean quite easily with a garden hose.”