One Chip 90

It's no secret that my Sweet Baboo sends me emails throughout the day. Emails when one would suppose that he is working hard for the money. One knows what happens when one assumes. Lucky for one (and for Val her own self) that usually Val's Sweet Baboo, Hick, makes himself the butt of most assumptions.

Yes, yesterday I received a cryptic message from Hick. It came in by email, not by text. So I knew it was something special! Not meant for just anybody non-driving-texter-Val tossed her phone (still not disinfected after its toilet swim) for reply purposes, to peruse for hot love messages between Val and her Sweet Baboo. Not that anyone would WANT to do such a thing, of course. That would require more bleach for one's brain than a gross of toilet-bobbing phones.

I surreptitiously checked over my shoulder to make sure The Pony wasn't within eyeshot. Then I opened that email. The afternoon delight email that was titled ONE CHIP 90. Hmm...what could that be about? Well. The answer was just a mouse click away.

How romantic! My Sweet Baboo had sent me a snapshot of snack food. Huh. I didn't recall any special significance enjoyed by chips during our courtship or subsequent ball-and-chaining ceremony. No cute stories involving chips as a delicacy during pregnancy cravings.

We don't even eat that many chips around here. Just The Pony. And this photo showed me no new flavors that I might be wont to purchase and sample as a novelty. Not even a good picture! All blurry and such. I resisted the urge to get right on my toilet phone and send Hick a text. I waited until he got home, having taken off for an 11:30 doctor's appointment, with no intention of going back. I don't know what's with that guy. He acts like he's got 12 vacation days left to last him until December retirement!

"What's with the picture of the vending machine?"

"I saw that one chip in there--"

"WAIT! You were supposed to be fasting for that appointment."

"I was. I didn't EAT the chip. Look at it. One chip."

"Oh. I couldn't see that when I opened the email on my phone."

"It was at work, in the break room. I wasn't even in there, but the cleaning lady called me to look at it. She wanted to make sure someone else saw it. I said, 'My wife puts out stuff like this all the time.' And I took a picture. She was happy, because she wanted other people to appreciate it. ONE CHIP in that slot. For 90 cents."

You heard him, people. Appreciate it!