The Pony Has Chlamydia

No, The Pony is not picking up spending money by acting out diseases for medical students. He's no Cosmo Kramer. Nor has he kicked up his heels, jumped the paddock fence, put himself out to stud, and contracted a bacterial infection during his dalliances. Nope. As part of his anatomy class coursework, The Pony was given chlamydia by his teacher. An assignment with a partner to present an STD to the class. The Pony told me about it in the car on the way home.

"Oh. Mom. In anatomy, we're doing STDs. We got to pick our own partner. Penny and I got chlamydia."

"How did you pick your partner?"

"Fourth quarter, she doesn't assign them. She lets us choose who we want to work with."

"So did you pick Penny, or did Penny pick you?" I know The Pony is not one for making the first move, especially to share an STD.

"She was sitting across from me. And Ms. Alloy said we could pick our partners. I looked at Penny, and she pointed at me and at her, so I said, 'Why not?' And then we got chlamydia. Is that the one they call The Clap?"

"Um. No. That would be gonorrhea."

"Oh, yeah. I always get them confused. You know WHY they call it The Clap, don't you?"

"Nooo...and how would YOU know?"

"I had to look it up back when I had health class freshman year. It's because that's how they used to treat it. They took two boards, and...put 'IT' between them, and clapped them together! And if a sailor on a ship found out he had it, they used two oars. When they clapped them together, a lot of the discharge was squeezed out."

"EEEEE! Did that cure it?"

"I don't think it cured it. But apparently it relieved the symptoms. Personally, I think it probably just hurt so much that you forgot about what gonorrhea felt like."

Let the record show that The Pony further informed me, the next day, that he and Penny had their presentation all ready to go, and that they had found several good pictures of what untreated chlamydia looked like.

"You can't go showing pr0n on a PowerPoint!"

"We won't. The pictures we chose are in such closeup that you can't tell exactly what part you're looking at. And we showed Ms. Alloy, and she said they were okay."

"Well...as long as Ms. Alloy approved them. Because it's almost time for graduation, and I don't want you getting kicked out for looking up inappropriate pictures on the school's internet."

I hope Ms. Alloy knows her anatomy.