Is it considered inappropriate to put your wiener on a milk carton?
Wiener, frankfurter, tube steak, hot dog...by any other name, would it still taste like ambrosia to my husband Hick?
As you may recall from your unannounced visit last night, the Thevictorian supper menu was chili. That's right. Chili. With a side of slaw for those who desired a green vegetable. Because all I ever needed to know about meal planning I learned in the high school cafeteria, I knew that tonight's menu would be chili dogs. If it's good enough for public school children, it's good enough for us.
Imagine my surprise when I pulled out the meat drawer and found four hot dogs missing! Not that I count hot dogs. It was a brand new pack. One of those big packs, because I know how much Hick loves him some hot dogs. I bought them Friday evening. We have not had a meal including them. The zip-locked package had been opened. AND FOUR WERE MISSING! I started the inquisition.
"Hey! Who's been into the hot dogs?" The Pony was in the basement. I knew he couldn't hear me. Genius was still at school working on his robot for Saturday's competition. So he definitely couldn't hear me. Hick was on the living room couch.
"Is your mother talking to ME?" He hollered down to The Pony. Like I, in the kitchen, would not hear.
"Yes, I'm talking to you. Who has been into the hot dogs?"
"Well...I ate two last night."
"We had CHILI last night!"
"I wanted chili dogs with mine."
"You ate a bowl of chili AND chili dogs, or you just put it all together on a plate?"
"I put it all together."
"Why aren't your buns open?" I buy the whole-wheat buns for Hick. Then I feed them to the chickens at the end of the week.
"I used white bread."
"You are not supposed to have white bread! And there are FOUR hot dogs missing."
"Oh. I took two in my lunch. On those white buns."
"The ones you could only get by moving the wheat buns out of the way? I am going to quit wasting money on those."
Here's the point. Hick is a hot dog junkie. He can't resist them. Hide them under the celery and mushrooms for three weeks, and he'll still find them and eat them. So I don't buy them often. It's not like I want to count food or chain the door of the Frigidaire shut like I have a resident with insatiable appetite syndrome. I just want to have my logically-planned meals to progress through the week logically. Not have Hick eat chili dogs for supper, take chili dogs in his lunch, and then be served chili dogs for supper.
I don't know why I care. Hick would probably prefer hot dogs at every meal.