Friday, September 7, 2012

What We Have Here is an Exposed Jugular

Oh, dear.

I have stumbled upon another unintentional misuse of a common word. I'm sure it was not a malicious misuse. Just an error by the uninformed. Or the young. Someone who has heard a saying bandied about by his elders, but has not taken the time to digest the context. To commit it to memory. Somebody not quite as well-read or long in the tooth or as educated in the scientific lore as Val. A novice at slapping words onto computer screen. Or, more likely, onto a tiny sliver of android phone.

I was browsing through some updates on one of the Big Brother 14 websites, and encountered a line about the houseguests feeling vulnerable during the live double eviction broadcast. Feeling like a target for a vicious attack. "It makes you feel like your juggler is out."

Heavens to Betsy! YOUR JUGGLER IS OUT! Hopefully, your little juggler did not escape when you left your barn door open. I imagine a juggler running willy-nilly about the house, tossing three of those bowling pin club thingies rhythmically as he dodges a multitude of folks trying to capture him with fishing nets, wire snares on the ends of broomstick-like wooden poles, frayed-rope lassos, burlap sacks, and long, vaudevillian, shepherd's crook hooks. As the tumult ensues, lamps are smashed, chairs overturned, portraits knocked askew, a cat caterwauls in surprise as his tail is trampled, and chasers knock heads as your nimble juggler avoids apprehension at the last second.

What a great concept for a Dr. Seuss-like story.


  1. Not quite the visual I got. But yours is much more creative and entertaining. Smurk, smurk.

    Word misuse exposes those who don't read at least a few passages more complex than cell-phone texts and cereal boxes.

  2. My mother has always called rich people molten millionaires.

  3. Oh, no, Val. What we have here is a failure to communicate. And what should you be communicating? An apology to the Big Brotherite, because they were correct in saying, "It makes you feel like your juggler is out." You need to go back and read a historical volume on the medieval times.

    Back in that era, if a member of the royal family felt threatened, they would throw a party and instruct the resident juggler to juggle legs of lamb. With each "cascade," the juggler would toss a leg to a guest. (The juggler had a partner who kept replenishing the leg of lamb supply.)

    Because lamb is so rich, as the guests gorged on it, they became lethargic and eventually started snoring...they fell asleep. And thus, the threat had disappeared, because a grand hall full of drooling, dozing people is not dangerous at all.

    When blackhearted backstabbing started up with the kings and queens and counts and countesses, the cry for "Let the juggler come out," was understood by everyone.

    I am sure the person whose reputation you besmudged will accept a formal, written apology. And I accept your thanks in advance.

  4. I guess Sioux has proven herself to be the most well read of us all! And, yet, I really don't think that is what they meant. It was a happy accident, as they say.

    I have been listening to an audio book spoken in a very British accent, so you must add that to my statement above. He, who gads about in his vehicle, says that he will be glad when this book is finished, as he is not fond of me speaking with this accent. Poo on him!

  5. Leenie,
    The texting situation has gotten out of hand. It is perpetuating the problem. The little sheep see a misuse or misspelling, and copy it.

    May I suggest, for your visual pleasure, Sioux's scenario on letting out the juggler.

    When they're hot, they're hot, I suppose.

    I'm surprised those medieval folks had time for all that juggler-releasing, what with throwing the baby out with the bath every spring, and lolling about chewing the fat with their guests, and nailing boards across the door bottoms to make thresh-holds.

    My formal written apology is on the way to the original juggler-outer. You're welcome.

    Sioux has plenty of time to read up on her medieval history while she cools her heels under the faculty bathroom sink while waiting for the firemen to rescue her head from its tightly-wedged position under the faucet. She probably practices her British accent while reading aloud. Which intimidates people from asking if she can spare a square of toilet paper.