Monday, September 17, 2012

Sometimes, It's What You DON'T Ask

Silly me. I readily agreed to let Genius spend the night with his friend, whose mother is just like me. And because everything is all about ME, I neglected to ask what the kid's father is like. As luck, or karma's butt-bite, would have it...he's just like Hick.

I was happily oblivious to the perils involved in this sleepover. Until Genius returned Sunday afternoon, and showed me the amazing pictures he had captured. You realize, of course, that I had given him the third degree before his departure on Saturday afternoon. Genius did not help his cause when he trotted out a giant cardboard tube containing glow sticks.

"Aren't these cool? We found some at the Dollar Store last time, and they were so amazing that we ordered these off the internet, twenty-five for only thirteen dollars!"

"What in the world! Are you having a rave? Taking E?"

"Ha ha. No. What's E?"

"Ecstasy. E is the street name. All the druggy kids call it that. I know. Because I watch TV."

"No. And we're not doing 'The Meth' either. His mom is just like you. She doesn't go for stuff like that."

Well then. That was good enough for me. I didn't even grow concerned when Genius didn't call me as instructed, to check in partway through the evening. After all, what could possibly go awry. That kid's mom is just like me!

The pictures Genius brought back were interesting. He's even give me a few to post here. But what I am NOT posting is a link to some video he took. Video of flaming mushroom clouds and raining fire that sets the grass ablaze. Flames resulting from a little backyard effort I mentally refer to as The Beginning of the Apocalypse.

It seems that these kids got the bright idea to set up a pilot light of rubbing alcohol. More like a ring of fire, in my opinion. They lit a circle of small flames, and set a GLASS bottle of various incendiary fluids in the center. Fluids like kerosene, gasoline, and torch fluid. Then the kid's dad, Hick 2.0, fired at it with a .22 while they filmed the explosion. Not cool. But everybody still has eyebrows. That I know of.

Here are some more calming pictures to get that image out of your sensible minds.

Here's another effort at capturing paint drops jumping on a balloon fragment over a speaker.

The host of this little shindig, lit up by glow lights, backlit by a cell phone.

And my personal favorite, a long exposure of kids roaming the yard with glow sticks. My favorite, because nothing is burning. Or exploding. Or receiving a bullet.

I really need to refine my interrogation techniques.


  1. Glad to hear everyone has eyebrows and the host is lit up by glow lights rather than whatever made that mushroom cloud. And I assume they all have toes that don't require duct tape, so good there. Cool pictures!

  2. Time to have a sleep over at your house and really check them out first hand.

  3. Brings to mind a story ..... My nephew's ex-mother-in-law keeps a losded pistol under her pillow, you know, for safety. Her being a widow woman and all. No one was aware of this little habit, as she also lets the grandchildren share her bed when they sleep over. As the story goes, she accidentally shot herself in the thigh. She managed to miss any vital arteries and it was a clean shot. My sister (and the three surrounding counties) heard the tale through the grapevine and she forbade my nephew (he has custody, since the mother of the child is currently incarcerated; and that is a whole other story) to take his daughter over there anymore. "But, Mama, it's just a small pistol and she wasn't even hurt too bad ....." I refer to this one as Joe-Joe, the idiot child.
    You just can't ask too many questions, can you?

  4. They're not doing "the meth" either." Gotta love the attitude, I think.

  5. How about "the Mary Jane?" Do any of them use that? That's what the druggies called it forty years ago. I'm sure that nickname is still used.

    Maybe you need to create a questionnaire that is used to question/interrogate before any sleep-over? How many fingers does this kid's father still have? How many ER visits has the father or kids had in the last three years? What about the show "Meth Busters"--do they religiously watch that TV show? (Oh, it's "Myth Busters"? Sorry.) Yes. Kids + vigilant mother + idiot father = pray for 'em.

  6. Experimenting...looks like they had a blast. Cool pics. Look for that video on You Tube.

  7. Tammy,
    That's the definition of a good catch around these parts. A guy with eyebrows and both big toes.

    Last night I was joking with Genius that the other kids' mothers would not want them staying here. "We have those guns right out there in a glass case under the stairs." Genius laughed. "MOM! At least ours are IN A CASE!"

    Anybody with any sense knows that the gun goes under the BED, not under the PILLOW! That's in case the tooth fairy drops in.

    That's what my mom calls it: The Meth. Genius knows I rib her about making it, ever since that time she went to Walmart to pick up some allergy medicine for my niece, and the pharmacy workers asked for ID.

    You are one hep cat, daddy-O. The kids I overhear, who are trying to be overheard, just call it WEED. Genius got a heapin' helpin' of that when he went to a concert in the city this summer. Unintentionally, of course.

    Genius says he intends to put several videos on YouTube. Because nobody in them is recognizable, he says.