I spent the day at a teacher inservice presentation. All day. Eight to three. On a cafeteria chair. Anybody wishing to donate to my impending buttocks transplant may leave a pledge in the comments section. We'll work out the details later.
The following conclusions were reached by Val today:
* Teachers are often not the best pupils.
Whispering, hooting, texting, and using outdoor voices is not appropriate in a workshop setting.
* A simple explanation will suffice. There is no need for a superior to place a hand on one's shoulder/back area, as this can be construed as both condescending, and an invasion of personal space. BAD TOUCH!
Don't cross that line. You might lose an arm. Or a lawsuit.
* Milk on a table causes anxiety.
The first thirty minutes of material will not be retained, due to everyone staring at the two gallons of milk beside the donuts, mentally tsk-tsk-ing about the waste. Until one brave little soldier got up and absconded with the jugs, presumably to the refrigerator in the teachers' workroom.
* There are no mimosas on school property.
Even though there is orange juice. Which really does not go with donuts.
* Anti-Scientites must not be allowed to present workshops.
Do not make fun of nonfiction books on coral reefs by saying, "REALLY? Who cares?" Do not belittle the science teachers by ridiculing volcanoes, of which there are three main types, required to be learned by freshmen for the Course Level Equivalents. And especially to not call out for a show of hands for all the English teachers. Then all the math teachers. Then all the history/social studies teachers. Then...oh...that's all.
* Bashing of the sea cucumber is not becoming.
We can't help it that you did poorly on that question on the writing portion of your ACT, and justified it by asking in your mind, "You expect me to read a paragraph about a boring sea cucumber?" If only schools had a fourth core class such as...oh...I don't know...maybe...SCIENCE, perhaps you would have been privy to the excitement a sea cucumber can bring when irritated, expelling its guts and all. Crazy idea, huh? That fourth core.
* Common Core Standards are, quite simply, the same criteria and methods we used years ago, when we called them Reading Across the Curriculum, and Writing Across the Curriculum, before gearing materials to the multiple-choice End Of Course tests.
There. I said it. What everybody who's been around long enough was thinking.
If you disagree, I don't want to hear it. Not until you sit on a cafeteria chair from eight to three.