Hick had just sat down in his recliner Thursday night to eat a mini frozen pizza that I had touched up with a slice of provolone cheese and pepperoni slices. His phone rang. It was the buddy who lives in the house where Hick had put in the infamous "90-degree angle" sewer pipe.
"Yeah. I think I have one in the basement. I'll bring it to you tomorrow at my shop."
Hick set his pizza aside and went to the basement. He returned with a box that he put on the long couch. I didn't care enough to ask. Friday morning at 5:50, when Hick sat down beside it, I asked what was in the box. He held it up.
"Silverware."
"That's for your buddy? Why does he need that? What's he been eating with all these years?"
"He has silverware. This is for his wife."
"The one who's sickly, and kind of disabled? Can't she use HIS silverware?"
"It's not for them to USE, Val. It's for her daughter. She's giving it to her daughter."
"Oh. Why was it in the basement? Why do you have silverware?"
"Actually, I think it's from my buddy that lived up the street from Pony's house, the old man with the Studebaker that we took to car shows before we got married. I think he gave it to us as a wedding gift."
"WHAT? I didn't know anything about that! Isn't a wedding gift supposed to be for BOTH of us?"
"Yeah. But we bought new silverware. We didn't need it."
"So you've just been HIDING it all this time?"
"I wasn't hiding it. It's been over 30 years. We don't need it."
"But you got it, when we lived in my $17,000 house, and I never saw it, and then we built THIS house, and you moved it, and I still never saw it. Even though I used to roam the basement on a regular basis. That's kind of sketchy."
"Well, I thought I had it somewhere, and Buddy needs it, so I'm giving it to him."
"I don't want the silverware. I just don't understand how you've had our "wedding gift" all this time, and I've never heard of it or seen it!"
Something is fishy here. It definitely looks like 30-year-old silverware, from the style of the box. It doesn't even have a bar code on it. Makes me think Hick has been saving it all these years, in case he needed to set up another household!
Maybe the fact he is giving it away means that he has decided to stay with you.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Maybe he's decided that, after 30+ years to think it through.
DeleteMaybe he was afraid you would catch on to his shenanigans and kick him to the curb. I'm sure my husband has things from his early days that I don't know about. However, it's unlikely to be silverware or a "saved" wedding present. I'm also pretty sure that I have no interest in whatever it might be, like you with regards to the silverware. I wonder what else he has cubbyholed that you are unaware of. He's always bringing "treasures" home, isn't he? And how is it his friend knew to call Hick and ask for such a thing? Or is Hick just one of those people that if anyone would have something needed, he would? You know - thanks to his SUSU or SUSU2 treasure stores. Ranee
ReplyDeleteI have caught Hick in many shenanigans, but my knees prevented me from curb-kicking. The purchase of a new lawnmower without consulting me, nor telling me, leaving me to discover it as he drove it through the yard, was one!
DeleteYeah, I don't care about Hick's personal things from before I met him. It's the idea that this was actually HALF MINE, and I was denied even KNOWLEDGE of it! Hick has a lot of "treasures" that I don't consider treasures, no matter what he tells me they're worth.
Hick's buddies hang out at the storage units, getting their stuff ready, or just socializing, like old men drinking coffee at Hardee's for three hours. They don't drink coffee. They are "treasure" hunters! So they talk about things they are looking for. Hick pretty much has at least one of everything, it seems!