Hick Is a $35,000 Snitch

I've mentioned how we are looking for another flip house. CHEAP! One that doesn't need too much money poured into it to make a safe, liveable house for resale. I found one on Monday. Or so I thought. It must have been on Realtor.com, since that's mostly where I check. The picture looked decent. I clicked on it. The description, though, said

This is a tear down you are purchasing mainly for the property. This is for the corner lot it will be divided off from 406 Lincoln.

Well. That was interesting. I've never seen something like this. The house was also listed as 2 bedroom, 2 bath. The roof looked decent. Nothing was sagging. The porch could use work. Hick drove by, and said some of the windows were new. And that only a little part of the roof looked like it might need patching.

"What's the deal? Do you think it was condemned? Maybe the floor rotted out? Mold?"

"I cain't see much wrong with it. I don't know why they would say it's a tear-down."

"Maybe it's because of zoning? Like how you couldn't have a business in the Beauty Shop, and we can't divide ours and sell the houses separately?"

"That might be it. I'm going to call about it."

I figured Hick was going to call our realtor, and have her check on it with the listing agent. It's something we would be interested in, but not from a tear-down standpoint. 

Well, Hick went to the city building inspector! Who wasn't there, so Hick called him and described the situation. Maybe the Inspector already knew the property. At the very least, Hick gave him the address. It's not too far away from the Double Hovel. The inspector said they couldn't sell that property, even as a vacant lot.

"It's not big enough. Nothing can be done with a lot that size, even if the house is torn down. You can't build another one on it. Then neither that lot, or the one with the other house on it, are big enough."

"Well, they have it listed on the real estate websites for sale at $35,000, as a tear-down house, so you're purchasing the lot."

"I'll go by there tomorrow and talk to them about it."

"If they're allowed to sell like that, then why aren't we? I've had three people stop and ask me to buy the Beauty Shop house, but I have to tell them I can't split it. If they were separate, people would be able to get a regular loan. But they can't get a loan to buy two houses. If you go down the street, there are houses with way smaller yards. And somebody can sell those houses if they want. Just because they've always been like that."

"I understand what you're saying, but your lots aren't big enough if you split your property. About the best you can do is ask to speak to the city council, and see if they'll give you a variance for that. It will cost you. Maybe around $250."

Hick says he'd going to check into this. Surely the Inspector meant it would cost to get a variance, and not to talk to the city council! Anyhoo... we agree that it's worth the money to find out for sure.

Meanwhile, I hope the Inspector doesn't mention to the Lot-Sellers how he found out about this listing. If he does, Hick might need to keep his head on a swivel over in that neighborhood, lest his snitching lead to stitches!