Candy Is Dandy, If It Isn't HIDDEN From You

I have already shamed Hick for absconding with the Christmas Eve treats that my niece gave us (as a COUPLE) for a Christmas gift. You may recall that he spirited those treats away to the BARn, he said, since they were with the stuff in the back of the car that he was unpacking.

When I shared this info with my sister the ex-mayor's wife (after conducting a thorough investigation, of course), she assured me that she was bringing us her leftover Christmas Eve cookies and candies on the CasinoPalooza 3 trip. "You know how sometimes you get back to the hotel room, and just want a little something." No. I really don't. Because the only time I go back to the room is around 3:00 a.m., and I want just a little sleep before going out gambling again. But I played along, and agreed. Sis does make really good Christmas candy.

In the whirlwind of CasinoPalooza 3 activity, I forgot all about Sis's treats. I DO recall that she had handed them over as we left our lunch stop at Lee's Chicken on the first day of the trip. In fact, Sis sent me a text saying she had handed the treats over to Hick and The Pony.

"I hated to do that! I hope you get some! You were in the bathroom, and we all went out to the parking lot, and I was going to wait for you to come out, so I could hand it to you. But I turned around, and there was HICK! I had the candy in my hand, and he was reaching for it! I could hardly pull it back and tell him NO!"

Well. I could have. But Sis didn't. She handed it over, sent me the text, and then elaborated later in person.

On the trip home, I asked Hick where the candy was from Sis. We were about two hours out of Joplin, still three hours from home, and I wanted a little snack.

"Where's that candy? I don't see it on the back seat, and I wanted a piece."

"Candy? What candy? I have the cinnamon things here in the console..."

"No. That candy Sis gave us. From Christmas Eve. The turtles and buckeyes and Grandma's cherry coconut candy, and the Rolos on square pretzels."

"Oh. That's in the back."

"I put my shoes in the back when you were putting in the suitcases at the valet pickup. I didn't see any candy back there. Just shoes, suitcases, and your breather bag."

"Well. I packed the candy. In my breather bag."

"Why would you do that? She gave it to us for the trip. To snack on."

"I didn't know you'd want any."

"Well, I kind of do. I hope you weren't planning on taking it to the BARn when we get home! Sis gave it to US!"

"I'll get the candy out when we stop again!"

Meanwhile, I sent Sis a text.

"You know that candy you gave us? I can't find it, and Hick says that he put it in his breather bag."

"Oh, no! I was afraid you wouldn't get any! I never should have given it to him at Lee's!"

"I know you didn't mean to, but that was kind of like giving The Devil some souls for safekeeping!"

Hick got the candy out when we stopped, and I had a turtle and a buckeye on the way home. They were tasty. We put that container of candy on the kitchen counter, to eat from throughout the week, or until it was gone. When I last looked on New Year's Eve, it had a little bit left. (Now gone, of course!)

Everything was fine, until I remembered that Sis had said she was bringing us candy AND COOKIES off that dessert tray. So, about three days after we returned, I asked Hick. I went straight to the horse's attached-to-a-bottomless-gullet mouth.

"Where are those cookies Sis gave us on the trip?"

"Cookies?"

"Yes. She said she was bringing us candy and COOKIES from her dessert tray."

"Oh. We ate those. In the hotel room."

"I never saw any cookies in the hotel room."

"Well, they was there! The Pony and I eat them."

"She said she gave The Pony his own cookies. Those peanut butter ones with the Hershey kisses on top."

"Well, he ate our cookies. We each had three."

I ran this by Sis later, and she informed me that she gave us EIGHT COOKIES, and that The Pony indeed had his own container of cookies not counting those eight. As you might presume, this did not come as a shock to me. But I'll tell you what DID.

I put a load of towels in the dryer this afternoon, and as I was walking out of the laundry room, I saw a container in a cardboard box on top of the mini deep freeze. Huh. I had Chex Mix ingredients in that cardboard box. But this was NOT a Chex Mix container. It was a foreign container! Smaller than the ones I use for Chex Mix. A different pattern than the ones I've used for Chex Mix. What in the Not-Heaven was this container in my laundry room?

Being the curious sort, I lifted it. Huh. Empty...but it rattled. I looked inside, and saw that it was not Mother-Hubbard-cupboard bare, but that the phantom container contained CRUMBS! As if from cookies or candy!

When Hick got home, it was time for an interrogation.

"What's that container in the laundry room? On the mini freezer?"

"Container?"

"Yes. Container. I just saw it there when I was doing laundry. I hadn't noticed it the other times I did laundry."

"I don't know. What container?"

"Go see for yourself."

"Huh. That's a container."

"I KNOW! It's got crumbs in it. Did you just leave it in there? I guess I'll get it and wash it. Or was it supposed to stay in there indefinitely. Hidden. Where you put it."

"I didn't put it there!"

"Then how did it get there? It's not the size or pattern I use for Chex. I don't know what was in it. But it looks like cookies or candy. Did you really take Niecy's present for us to the BARn? Or was that just a cover story? And when you finished eating it, or felt like the coast was clear, you put the container in there, waiting for me to find it much later. And wash it."

"I don't REMEMBER putting it in there. But I guess I could have..."

Oh, don't get me started on the OTHER THINGS Hick doesn't remember! You're sure to hear about them soon. Just not today. I think I've already exceeded my word limit.

[Let the record show that while this container might look bigger from this angle, it was the exact same size as the candy container from Sis. AND the exact same size AND PATTERN as the candy container that Niecy gave The Pony.]

Is it possible that The Pony put his empty container in the laundry room? Well, it's possible. But not very likely. I'm pretty sure he packed up what was left and took it with him. He'd been eating stocking candy, not homemade goodies, for that day between Christmas and when we left at 10:00 a.m. for CasinoPalooza. AND such a feat would have required effort on the part of The Pony. He would not even deign to take an empty container to the kitchen cutting block, much less expend the energy for three extra steps to stash it in the laundry room out of sight.

Val Thevictorian. Private Investigator for hire. Unlicensed, but just as effective.

Buffalo Gal, Won't You GET OUT Tonight

CasinoPalooza 3 was a blast. I had a great time, even though I parted with some of my tightly-clutched pennies. I think everyone had a great time, even though the times were trying. At times.

As you may recall, my favorite slot machine is Buffalo Gold. The casino where we were staying, Downstream Casino, in Oklahoma, had FOUR of these machines. They are oversized machines, in a kiosk. You may have noticed from one of my winnings pictures that they are set up in a circular arrangement. Slot. Graphics panel. Slot. Graphics panel. Etc. So the people playing can't actually see each other's screen. It's a big circle of four slots, with spacer panels around the kiosk.

On Thursday night, I could not get on my precious Buffalo Gold. The slot that was rightfully mine was monopolized by an unsavory crowd who took up ALL FOUR GAMES! I call shenanigans! That's dirty pool! They were keeping the game from the enjoyment of others. LIKE ME! It's different if I choose to sit at a Buffalo Gold machine for two hours. I'm only taking up ONE slot. Not all four. The sum total of Buffalo Gold available at that casino.

I was especially annoyed by the man who draped his jacket over one of the Golds, but kept running around the kiosk talking to everyone else. Oh, he was actually playing the machine. About one spin every five or more minutes. Had to make his rounds.

I sat down at a Sharknado slot next to it. My blog buddy Joe H. might want to check that out. I know he's a big Sharknado (the movie) fan! Sharknado has good bonuses, if you can get them. I've seen it on YouTube. I don't normally play that one, but it was closest to Buffalo Gold. I was betting the minimum on Sharknado. I can't even remember what it was. My Sharknado was quite loud. I thought about adjusting the volume, but then decided against it. The main reason being that it seemed to irritate a gal playing one of my Buffalo Golds. She shot me a dirty look every now and then. Heh, heh! My tactics were working!

Or not.

Those people stayed at least three or four hours at Buffalo Gold! One of them must have run out of money, because after I went to get a soda and came back, there was ONE seat open! I plopped my ample rumpus on it and commenced to gambling. Nobody puts Val at a Sharknado!

Buffalo Dude was still running around the machines, first to his Buffalo Gal, and then to his Buffalo Buddy. Buffalo Gal looked like that Whitney girl on My Big Fat Fabulous Life, only a bit older, a bit smaller, and a bit less fabulous. Buffalo Buddy looked like he could have come from just up the gravel road from my house.

I really don't like distractions when I'm gambling. Sometimes I count spins in my head, or have a pattern of moving my bet up and down. I don't need people who want to chat, or clumsy oafs who can't for the life of them walk a sensible route around a machine so that they don't slam a hip into my chair or shoulder. The Buffaloafs (see what I did there? Bufflalo OAFS! Buffaloafs!) didn't seek my attention, but I couldn't avoid their antics.

The Buffaloafs were drinking. Beer. Out of bottles. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We were in a casino, by cracky, not a Carrie Nation Convention. You know what happens when you drink beer, right? You get a little...um...not-care-y. You don't care so much how you appear to others. Others who may be trying to ignore your antics.

Buffalo Gal's slot machine was on fire. She was hitting a bonus every five minute or less. Let the record show that hitting a bonus on Buffalo Gold does not guarantee you a fortune. I've had many a bonus that only paid $1.80 or $4.60 or some other ridiculous amount. The fun is in hitting the bonus, and the bonus play. Because you have HOPE of hitting a big bonus. Even on a 60-cent bet. I couldn't see what Buffalo Gal was betting. But every time she hit a bonus (you can tell because of the music from the game), she started BABY-TALKING the slot.

"Come on, baby. Can you get me a widdle bonie? I need my buffaloes, baby, Come on, honey. That's a good widdle game. Uh huh! Uh huh! Do it again, sweetie. YES! Ooo is SUCH a good baby! There you go! Uh huh! Uh huh!" And she'd reach her hand up to the screen, and rub it and pat it and make kissy noises.

Of course this attracted Buffalo Dude. He'd rush over and stand beside her and start the sweet-talking, too. "Oh, yeah! Oh, YEAH! That's the way you like it, isn't it, baby? Just like that! More! More!"

It was really hard to shut them out. Buffalo Dude at one point told Buffalo Gal that he needed to go to the bathroom. I hope it was just the beer, not a result of...um...overexcitement from watching her play a bonus. She wasn't having that. "But THEN someone might take the machine!" Which was unlikely, with his coat draped on the chair, and a beer bottle planted on the button area, and his player's card in it as well. Buffalo Gal was super paranoid, telling him, "Get back over there before somebody gets it!" Sheesh! If I'd known how much that got under her skin, I would have spent the first couple hours walking up to each of them and watching over their shoulder. Or acting like I was going to sit down on his coat-draped chair.

Anyhoo...Buffalo Dude took his pee break, and then came back to make his rounds again. I could feel the animosity flowing off of him every time he glanced my way. He also visited Buffalo Buddy, who was at the slot on my right. A different conversation, but still very much the same. Buffalo Buddy revealed that he was almost done. That's he'd sunk $700 into that machine. Buffalo Dude didn't say how much HE had put in, or Buffalo Gal. Only that SHE held the tickets that they were going to cash out. Buffalo Dude made another pass by HIS slot, which was opposite me on the kiosk, so I couldn't see it while playing. I guess he punched a button or two. Then went back to Buffalo Gal.

This next part is not for the faint of heart. I apologize in advance for all the gorge-rising that I am about to induce.

Buffalo Gal was in another bonus. Still sweet-talking. Getting a little bit risque. She and Buffalo Dude began a banter that made me shiver in disgust. It involved much screen-rubbing and moaning.

HER: "Uh huh. THAT'S it! THAT'S the way momma likes it! YES! YES! Keep going! Don't stop!"

HIM: "Oh, yeah. That's the way. Give it to her! Give it to her!"

HER: "Mmm...more, MORE! Give momma more buffies! Show me the coins! Come on! Come on! OOOOO! That's what I need! Uh huh! UH HUH! I love it when you give me coin!"

HIM: "Oh, yeah! You deserve to those coins! You should be SHOWERED in coins!"

HER: "Uh huh! You mean...like a GOLDEN shower?"

HIM: "Oh, you're so bad!"

HER: "Ha ha. Give it to me! Give it to me!"

Buffalo Gal was talking to the slot machine, but then Buffalo Dude leaned over and gave her a big ol' juicy kiss. And by juicy, I mean SLIMY! I didn't want to look, but I couldn't look away!

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT!

Especially after her previous comment. I could hardly sit there and keep feeding my own Buffalo money. Thing is, I had waited so long to get on Buffalo Gold that I wasn't about to let them scare me off. For all I know, that was their plan.

I know a casino is not full of squeaky-clean, respectable, pillars of society. Well, except for me, of course. But I shouldn't feel like I need to run out of there and straight to the shower.

I'm not talking about a smoky smell, either.

Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #92 "Goald E. Locke and the 3,000 Pieces of Furniture"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. Just in time for the recent cold snap, Val is ready to release her 92nd fake book. What better use of time to while away the arctic chill than sitting in your favorite chair, fake-reading Val's latest fake book? You know you can't beat that with a stick. And hopefully, you can't get near enough to Val to beat HER with a stick, either. You know, just in case you're a fan of The Quiet Man, and some random lady proffers you a stick for Val-beating. Dig down in the cushions of that favorite chair, and maybe you'll find enough change for this fake purchase.

Goald E. Locke and the 3,000 Pieces of Furniture

Goald E. Locke has a reputation around town. He has more breaking-and-entering convictions on his rap sheet than anyone in the entire state of Missouri. The latest victim is Schmoroom's Showroom. As with his other crimes, Goald hasn't stolen anything. He just likes trying things out. Now he has sat on and laid on every sofa. Swiveled, cranked-back, rocked, and glided every chair. Pulled open every drawer. Switched on and off every lamp.

Schmo's granddaughter, the store manager, doesn't want to press charges. She only wants Goald out of her establishment. She had to restrain him from making another round of try-outs while waiting for authorities. She plans to place a trespass order on Goald.

Will Goald cease and desist, or will Schmoroom's have to change their name to Schmoroom's Gently-Used Showroom Furniture? (133 words)

__________________________________________________________________

Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

St. Louis Furniture Icon Amy Dubman, of Carol House Furniture..."While my brother Brook is away on business, I'm having a special sale. Any piece of furniture that has been tried out by Goald is 10% off. PLUS, I'll give you a copy of this fake book! Okay. If you'll take the fake book, I'll give you 20% off!" 

Archie Bunker's Chair, channeling Archie..."This is one of the stupidest fake books I've never fake-read! It ain't fit to leave in the terlet for when you run out of terlet paper. It looks like something that pinko commie Meathead would carry around."

Airline Seat..."I would rather be kicked repeatedly by a toddler on a cross-Atlantic flight than have this fake book in my seatback."

Edith Ann's Rocking Chair..."This fake author is a bigger A$$ than it would take to comfortably sit on me. And that's the truthththth!"

White Couch, besotted with George Costanza's grape juice, and Poppie's pee..."I would welcome Goald to my cushions! But not this fake author! May she spend the night on Morty and Helen's fold-out sofa, with a metal bar in her back, and the thermostat set on HOT."

(OPC) Old People Chair..."I am hot under my cushions, and shaking with fright at the thought of this fake author getting stuck in me during a power outage. I'd sooner be stuffed with banana peels and toenail clippings than aid in the relaxation of such a purveyor of fake literature."

La-Z-Boy..."Be careful what you wish for, OPC! May you be spared the idignity of only a thin swatch of tighty-whitey separating you from the nether region of this fake author's husband. And may we ALL be spared the future and past efforts of this fake author!"

You Gotta Bet, For Your Right, To PAAARRR-TAAAYYYY

Before we left for CasinoPalooza 3, I went online to check out the websites of the casinos we planned to frequent. You don't want to miss out on any promotions. We went to 7 different casinos, with at least $5 free play at each. Plus, Hick and Genius got extra free play because December is their birthday month.

One of the promotions was a Private Party. Once you played the slots and earned at least 20 points, you could take your player's card to the promotions center and have it loaded with $20 of free play. PLUS you could get a wristband that allowed entrance to the Private Party, which involved free food and drinks. It was plainly on the High Winds website, and also advertised on posters in their vestibule. I had copied the offer word for word from their website to an index card. I did this for the promotions from each casino, and gave a set of index cards to my sister the ex-mayor's wife after we got back in our separate cars after lunch at Lee's Chicken on the way down there.

Still...Sis questioned the Private Party.

"I don't get this. Why is there a Private Party? Do we get to go? What's going on at the Private Party? Free food and drinks? What's that? Is it a meal? What kind of drinks? Soda? A bar? It's from 7:00 to 9:00. We're usually at another casino by then. How many are allowed in? What if they run out of food and drinks? It says to get a wristband at 6:00? Then what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. That's what their promotions page said. I don't know any more than that. Maybe you don't want to go. I don't care. But it's $20 of free play, and you're probably going to gamble enough anyway to get to 20 points. For all I know, they're serving free soda and a bowl of popcorn. You guys decide. I'm just letting you know the promotions."

Of course Genius was interested. "If that Private Party has free drinks, that will be well worth it! I think we should go."

Sis was skeptical, but we all went. We arrived around 5:45, and by 6:05, Sis, Ex-Mayor, Genius, and Friend had their wristbands. I got mine about five minutes later, because I was playing a machine that I knew an annoying guy wanted, and I didn't want to give in to him. I'm like that sometimes.

There's my bracelet, next to the Garmin-brand fitbit thingy Genius gave me for Christmas. These Party wristbands were snapped on like a hospital ID bracelet, with a plastic clasp thingy. Hick did not have a bracelet, so Sis interrogated him and sent him to the promotions desk to get one. Hick was under the impression that he was missing out on $20 free play (which he WAS), and had no clue about the Private Party.

The promotions lady scanned Hick's player's card, and asked if he wanted a bracelet. "SURE! If it's FREE!" So he got one, still not knowing what it was good for. A lady next to him, when asked, said, "OH! I get a BRACELET?" Yeah. Not everybody there was a former valedictorian like Val, Genius, and The Pony.

Speaking of The Pony, he did not have a bracelet. Newly-awoken Hick, after a symposium by Sis, started in on The Pony. "What do you mean you haven't got 20 points in play yet? I've seen you playing! I don't care if your card wasn't working! Give it to me! I'll play it for you. Give it to YOUR MOM! She plays higher than I do. What are you going to do when we go in there to eat, sit out here by yourself and starve?" Let the record show that we had not eaten since breakfast at 9:30 a.m.

Of course The Pony took offense, and meandered off by himself, and Hick sent me as a search party of one, to corral him and break him so he could attend the soiree with us. The Pony did it on his own terms, and got his party bracelet.

High Winds is not a large casino. It was not overly busy, this being a Thursday night. When 7:00 (PARTY TIME) rolled around, we didn't know where to go. Genius had scoped out the situation, though. Upon arrival, he'd asked where it would be held, what would be served, and how much was allowed. The lady told him it was cheese and crackers and those roll-up things (PINWHEELS) and pasta salad and whatever drinks you wanted, including liquor. "So get one and get back in line!" Her advice. Not his.

Anyhoo...we saw Genius and Friend at the head of the line. It was a back room full of round tables, 8 chairs to a table, and long tables up front loaded with food, and a long table at the back with a bartender. The food looked appetizing. A vegetable platter with carrots/broccoli/cauliflower, giant bowls of spinach dip, two kinds of round crackers, cubes of yellow/white/pepperjack cheeses, cubes of ham, bowls of colored pasta salad with broccoli and ham chunks, pinwheels of ham/cheese/tomato/lettuce/mayo, and some sliced sub sandwiches.

It should come as no surprise to you that Genius selected our table, the one directly in front of the open bar. As he said later, "I didn't want us up there by all the traffic of the food line." I could kick myself for not getting a picture of everybody's plate. It was an afterthought that I got the aftermath.

That's my Diet Coke cup, after it got watered down while waiting on my table of alcoholics. Genius was having whisky/Cokes, as he called them. I think Friend had the same. Sis had two bottles of beer, as did Ex-Mayor. Hick had one bottle of beer (seeing as how he was our driver, and I didn't know how long we were staying). That's Hick in the background.

The only complaint I have is that the bartender lady would only pour me that little cup of Diet Coke. Sure, I could go back as often as I wanted. But you'd think she could have given me a whole can of Diet Coke. It's not like I was asking for a fifth of vodka.

You could go through the food line as often as you wanted. We were all fat and sassy after that free Private Party. Except maybe Sis, who was only sassy. She didn't eat anything but 8 crackers and a handful of giant olives she took off the bar while the lady was turned around getting her bottle of beer. She said she didn't really want what they had to offer. Oh, well. More for me!

We were allowed free run of that room until 9:00. Around 7:45 we went out to the casino floor to gamble some more. Genius and Friend made numerous trips back inside for drinks. Genius had been lucky with his gambling, coming out $40 ahead. As he said,

"I hope they know they just paid me $40 to drink all I can in two hours!"

Val Is the $12.99 Daughter

When we last convened, Val was having a heyday at Downstream Casino in Oklahoma. Finding pennies all willy-nilly, and hearing her two special songs on the radio while traveling, songs that she associates with her dear, departed mother.

Thursday night was our last night at Downstream. We would all be going our separate ways on Friday morning, The Pony back to college at OU, Genius to his new apartment in Kansas City to get on with his real life, and start work at Garmin on January 8th. My sister the ex-mayor's wife, and the ex-mayor himself, back home to not see us again until next Christmas, even though we live about 10 miles apart. And me back to my Backroads homestead, to while away my hours and days and weeks and years with fully-retired Hick.

The Pony conked out early Thursday night. Said he was going to bed at 10:30, to rest up for his drive the next day, but mainly to save himself from losing any money. Genius and Friend spent a little time high-drinking, low-betting. Then they went back to their room. Hick never tells me when he's leaving, but rather texts me from the room that he's back, and going to sleep. Sis and the ex-mayor stopped by periodically, to visit me at my favorite Buffalo Gold game that I FINALLY got a chance on. The story of the usurpers is coming soon.

On their last pass by, on the way back to their room around 1:00 a.m., Sis told me that the cash-out machines weren't working. "None of them! I have two tickets I'll have to cash in tomorrow. I went to the cashier, but there's a line about 25 deep, and I'm not waiting tonight."

Huh. That revelation was rain on my parade. I had a couple of big tickets to cash in. I figured that by the time I was ready to leave, the line would have shortened. So I played on. When my butt got too tired to sit and lose money any more, I headed for the cashier. Of course it was in the complete opposite corner of the casino from where I was playing. This isn't some rinky-dink operation. It's about 3 or 4 times the size of the casino that Hick and I frequently frequent back home.

First I went to the nearby cash-out machine I'd been using, and indeed saw a message that it was not giving out cash. It's not that I doubted my sister's word, but why walk all the way across the casino if you don't have to? Then I began my trek to the cashier. A casino doesn't have orderly rows and wide main hallways like my teaching career provided me. There are several games here, a round kiosk there, some back-to-back arrangements at a diagonal, gaming tables roped off, a circular bar...all set up seemingly cattywompus to each other, though I'm sure the people who run that casino paid a pretty price to a consultant about traffic flow.

It was kind of like a corn maze. You can't really see what's around the next corner. You CAN see the big letters on the outside wall that say CASHIER. So I was weaving to and fro, having not traveled this direction yet on this trip, mainly having gone around the perimeter and cut in a couple times looking for that Wonder 4 Tower.

I was moseying along by the circular bar on my left, carving out a circuitous path up front, when a cheer arose from a gaming table over to my right. I don't even know what they were playing, but they were all standing up. I turned my head to glance over then, and SAW IT!

Is this too good to be true, or WHAT? Val found a ladybug slot!!! I was dying to sit down and play it, but I had no cash. And I wasn't putting a more-than-$100-ticket in there. I couldn't even get a picture, because OF ALL THE TIMES, EVER, IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD...a technician materialized out of nowhere to work on the slot that was two machines to the left of the one I wanted to photograph.

I went on to the cashier. I pocketed (pursed, actually) my big bills, and had three twenties to play on. I wanted to put one of them into the ladybug slot. How could I NOT? The technician was gone, so I took a picture before I did anything else. It's on whatever the previous player left it at. There's no guarantee that it would have been on that column of ladybugs that caught my eye. Ladybugs. That remind me of my mom, and her drop-ceiling full of them in her family room.

It was a ladybug slot, all right. I took a close-up to prove it happened.

I put in my player's card and my $20. Seeing that it was a 40-line game, I decided to play all lines at one credit per line. That's 40 cents a spin. With $20 in, I figured I had 50 spins. Whatever (if any) money was left after that would be what I won. Of course I hit the wrong button first, and made a spin wagering ONE CENT! That's not really Val's style. So I made 49 more spins at 40 cents a spin. I hit a couple of little wins. Nothing big. After my 50th spin, there was $12.99 credit left in the machine. A lesser woman, with no self control, and a crushing gambling addiction...might have played that down to nothing.

That's not Val.

I cashed it out. Saved the ticket for the next day. I didn't feel like weaving my way through machines to the cashier again. (I'm pretty sure my PAINT skills with a spray can to remove the bar code from this photo will unequivocally assure you that I am NOT Banksy.) This ticket gave me VALidation (see what I did there) that the power of the ladybug was with me on this trip. And that I've received a promotion from Five-Dollar Daughterdom. Thank goodness my little overeager one-cent bet faux pas kept me from being a Thirteen Dollar Daughter!

Funny thing. The next morning, after breakfast and goodbyes to the boys, Hick and I walked into the casino by the Buffalo Gold machines. I told him how I had to go to the cashier in the opposite corner last night, because all the cash-out machines were not working. And that I was headed over there now to cash out my $12.99 ticket.

"Yes they were! The one I went to worked. Look. This one over here. It's working now, too." It was only one row over from the Buffalo Gold machine.

I could have cashed out there last night. And never made my winding trip past the ladybug slot machine.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs, Bringing Val Comfort in This Family Time

Genius and Friend were the first to arrive at the CasinoPalooza 3 hotel. They had their own room, courtesy of Genius's free night offer from when we stayed there in May. My sister the ex-mayor's wife, and her driver, the ex-mayor, were second. Then The Pony and I parked in the guest lot, where Hick picked us up with our luggage, and headed for valet parking. Genius was texting to see where we were, then said, "Oh, I see you pulling up now. Never mind." He had a good view from his 9th floor room. He was trying to find out if he had time to get a drink and roam around, but we only wanted to put our bags away and get going.

It didn't take us long to hit the road to other casinos. It's about a 20-minute drive to the first one. Sis and the ex-mayor took their own car, and we piled The Pony and Genius and Friend into A-Cad. Yeah. The Pony got the short end of that stick, and had to ride on the third seat. Not that there's anything wrong with that. He's young and spry.

We were about halfway to our first casino, following Sis and Ex-Mayor's white SUV, when it came on the radio: "Holes in the Floor of Heaven," by Steve Wariner. The song The Pony and I associate with my mom. "Pony! Hear it? It's our song!" He did. It was a nice surprise, all of our family there together on a trip, and hearing this song.

Later than night, at 12:12 a.m. (according to the time stamp on the picture), I was alone, gambling back at Downstream, where we were staying, when I decided to get a soda at their grill. Downstream doesn't have free soda stations, though Genius says they'll give you one free at the bar if you ask for it. Anyhoo...there I was, in line to get a soda, when I saw it on the floor:

A PENNY! I don't know anything about the time of 12:12, but maybe that penny had been laying there since 11:11 waiting for me. I was itching to pick it up before somebody else got it, but I wasn't about to bend over and put my head by that gal's butt. Val is no weirdo!

Thankfully, those people got their order pretty quick, and I could get a closeup and snag my rightful 2016 penny. I was really feeling connected. A special song, AND a penny! Forget that I was losing, this gave me a warm feeling.

The next night (or technically, the same night, since this one was found after midnight), we were again back at Downstream. Genius and Friend were hitting the bar (with outrageous prices this time, them not liking the special of a Fireball shot for $2) and wandering around, low-betting. I couldn't get on my Buffalo Gold machine because some really obnoxious people were monopolizing all four seats. More on them another day, perhaps.

I'd been looking for a Wonder 4 Tower slot machine, but hadn't seen any on this trip except at Indigo Sky. We left there before I got my fill of play on it. Friend and Genius found me sitting at a Buffalo Grand machine. I don't really like them. The seat is built in, and it vibrates when you hit enough buffalo. This one never gives me any wins, but it's better than no buffalo. Anyhoo...Friend said he'd found a Wonder 4 Tower up front. I cashed out immediately, and said I was going to get a soda, then go look for it.

No penny this night at the soda counter. I got my beverage (free refills all night, too) and went in search of the Wonder 4 Tower. I couldn't find it. I checked all the landmarks they'd pointed out, but still no Tower. Kind of in a huff, I slogged back to the area of the grill, where Genius and Friend were playing a giant money wheel machine. My knees were on their last legs at the end of this day, and I was disgruntled over the wild Tower chase. Friend apologized and said he'd take me there.

That was really nice of him, but it meant more walking. I said I might just play that Buffalo Grand again, but IT WAS TAKEN, along with the one beside it. So I went with Friend up front for the Tower. When we got there, all the seats were taken! TAKEN! So I had to walk back to my Buffalo Grand, in hopes of it being open. AND IT WAS. But that's not the best part.

Right there on the control panel was a PENNY! Left just for ME! I put down my soda and got out my camera.

A shiny 2015. Doesn't bother me a bit that it was face down. Though in retrospect, maybe it was bad luck to pick up a face-down penny. NO! NEVER! Every penny is a good penny for Val, in her quest to become a Future Pennyillionaire.

Anyhoo...there's more to Val's madness, so random that it deserves its own post tomorrow. For now, let's move along to the ride home.

We weren't very far out of Joplin when Genius called. Being a new grown-up, he'd been checking his American Family insurance app, which said that he owed on his car insurance. Which he does NOT, because we pay it for 6 months at a time, and it's good until March, when he will take over. Anyhoo...there must have been a snafu on the way the statement reads, because he just got himself linked to our multi-car discount when he got his renter's insurance. He doesn't owe anything now, but we will in February for a couple of different cars. Hick talked Genius down from the ledge, telling him to call the gal at our insurance office and have her explain it. That satisfied him.

While I was talking to Genius on the phone, another of my special songs came on the radio: "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye," by Patty Loveless.

Yes. Val had an excellent adventure on CasinoPalooza 3. It's not all about the money, you know.
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These were pennies #76 and 77 for my Future Pennyillionaire fortune.
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An Ex-Mayor's Wife and a Niece Walk Into a Piano Bar

On the way to CasinoPalooza 3, we stopped for lunch in Genius's College Town. Genius wasn't with us, him and Friend driving separately, having left a bit later. They would be going to Kansas City after leaving CasinoPalooza 3. The Pony also had his own car, since he would be returning to Norman, Oklahoma, at the conclusion of CasinoPalooza 3. I was riding with him. So we had four cars taking seven people on this trip. It's kind of hard to coordinate lunch with such a convoy.

My sister the ex-mayor's wife likes to dine at Lee's Chicken. We don't have one around here. She had the chicken strips with cooked apples and something else. I had the Oven Roasted two-piece meal with cooked apples and SLAW. The Pony had chicken strips with wedge fries and macaroni and cheese. I didn't see what Hick or the ex-mayor had, because they were sitting farther away from me. One thing's for certain. We all had a biscuit. But the highlight of lunch was Sis's story.

"Niecy and I were in St. Louis shopping. She told me we should go to this piano bar that she'd been to before. 'It's really nice, Mom. I think you'll like it.' So we went, and she was right. It was REALLY nice!

Along one wall, they had a little buffet with chicken wings and other hot stuff and finger foods. We didn't have any, but I was really impressed. Everybody seemed to be having a great time. The music was good. Then a lady got up and took the microphone.

She gave a little speech about what a nice place this was. And then she said she wanted to congratulate John Smith on being the year's top seller! Niecy and I looked at each other. The room burst into applause, so we did, too. 'Yay! Good job, John Smith! Way to go!'

We noticed then that other people were wearing ID badges. We had walked into an awards ceremony for some company. It started with a 'V' but I don't remember the name. We were SO embarrassed. We just sat there and pretended to be part of the group. We clapped when they clapped. Thank goodness we hadn't eaten the food! As soon as there was an opportunity, we got up and left. I'm surprised they didn't throw us out."

Yeah. That's my sister.