"I'm at my buddy's house, helping with his sewer."
Typical Hick, using his mechanical smarts to help somebody. Not a shock. No big deal. Just meant that I had more time for my scratchers before starting supper. When Hick got home 90 minutes later, he revealed more details.
"We got to looking under the house, and his plumbing is a mess. I bet he had five or six 90-degree angles. I said, 'You need to get rid of these connections, and switch them to 45-degree angles. Then it will flow better.' I asked his wife how much toilet paper she used, and she said, 'Enough to wipe a butt.' I think one of his main problems is the low-flush toilet he just put in. We have to go back and work on it some more."
"Why did he put in a low-flush toilet? Are they cheaper? Or does he think he's saving the world?"
"No, they're not cheaper. And he didn't do it on purpose. They're what's being pushed these days, so sometimes they're all you can find. I asked him why, and he said, 'That's just the one I bought.' So no telling why."
"Are you charging him anything?"
"Nah. But he ought to pay Old Buddy for helping us. He needs the money."
"Is it fixed now?"
"It's working. But I'll go back next week to change out the fittings so he won't keep having problems. After the ground dries out under the house. I don't mind crawling around in someone's dried poop and toilet paper, but I'm NOT going to crawl around in wet poop!"
Yes. Hick has standards, you know...
OMG make him disrobe on the porch! Then squirt him with the hose. That Hick is a good guy, though, so be gentle.
ReplyDeleteThat's what my coaching buddy's wife used to do to him when we "loaded chickens" for Tyson as a fundraiser for the athletic booster club, in Cuba, Missouri.
DeleteI suppose I understand nothing, but it seems a sharper 45 degree angle would be less conducive to the poop moving along. That is such a sharp angle.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct. A 45 degree angle is twice as sharp as a 90 degree angle. I just typed it up the way Hick said it. Maybe he reversed them, but 90 still seems pretty sharp for trying to get stuff flowing smoothly. Maybe Hick meant to add 45 degrees, and get something like 135 degrees? I don't know. He sure didn't mention it like that. So I'll have to ask what he meant. He knows all the plumbing stuff about how many feet drop over how many feet distance. So surely he knows about the angles, but just doesn't communicate clearly. SHOCKER!
DeleteWell. I asked. And barely survived the response. Coming up...
DeleteI will brace myself and watch for the answer.
DeleteIt's coming on Friday!
DeleteHere in Australia they are pushing dual flush toilets so you can choose between a half flush and a full flush, a much better idea in my opinion than just a single low flush. Sometimes a full flush is needed. Especially for people living in upstairs flats where they waste has a longer way to travel before making it to the main drain.
ReplyDeleteThat flush choice sounds like a good idea. At least the upstairs people have the benefit of "extra" gravity to help their business along.
DeleteNow that I have stopped gagging, I will comment! I know very little about plumbing for toilets and honestly don't care to learn more! When the sewer backed up at the campground, I just called upon the men to fix it an then told the man that lived with me to take advantage of the public showers before coming in. Silly, since I cleaned all the showers, but at least he didn't walk it through the house and store. He couldn't, as I locked him out!
ReplyDeletePerhaps all the poop dust will fall off of Hick before he gets home!
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