Remember on Christmas Eve day, when Hick fell down in the driveway and bashed his face and skinned his glasses? He'd been getting by wearing his old glasses until he could see about getting his scraped lens fixed.
"Wouldn't you know it! It's the lens on my GOOD eye!"
Yes. You might recall that Hick does not have vision, other than light and dark shadows, in his left eye, due to a fireworks incident when he was 14. But of course the lens he needs would be the one that got skinned up. Just like dropping a piece of buttered toast results in the buttered side landing down, Hick's fall left him on his buttered face, rather than the unbuttered back of his head.
Seeing Hick wearing his old glasses was a bit disconcerting. His old glasses look amazingly like MY old glasses. I know they weren't mine, because mine were laying right there on the end table in their open case, as usual. I don't know WHY he got frames like mine back then. Just a plain dark-blue frame, nothing fancy. Not like Sally Jessie Raphael red glasses, or the giant plate-glass windows worn by Dustin Hoffman as "Tootsie."
Anyhoo... once the holiday weekend was over, Hick went to the optical store inside Walmart, where he got his newest glasses, after declaring how his old place charged way too much. Of course Hick had a story to tell when he got back.
"That girl is crazy! I asked if they could grind the scratches out of my lens, and how much it would be. Or if I needed a whole new lens. She said they could probably grind it, and that it would be $80. I said that I could get NEW lenses put in my frames for that much! She said, 'Well, they're bifocals, and they're the color-changing lenses...so it will be $40 per lens.'
I told her I only have ONE lens that is scratched! And she said, 'They need to grind both of them, or the color and prescription might be slightly different.' I told her, 'Lady, I can only see out of one eye! I don't care what they look like! It won't affect my vision at all!' So she went to talk to someone, and then said they could just do the one lens."
Heh, heh! You've gotta get up pretty early in the morning, or stay up all night, to put one over on Hick! Even with one eye, he can see through a scam.
Glasses are the biggest racket around. I've paid as much as $600 for prescription glasses that were scratch resistant (whatever that really means) tri-focal. They were a pain in the ass getting used to, as a matter of fact, never got used to them. Currently I have three pairs of prescription glasses at $50 a pop from Costco, and 5 pair of readers from CVS, total cost $210 and I am never without glasses, I have a pair of both on every floor of the house and a pair of readers in the car plus a foldup pair of readers for restaurant use.
ReplyDeleteHick landed on the butter side up, not funny, but funny to read.
I thought I had those, but one pair of mine is scratched. Probably because the lens fell out on a blacktop casino parking lot as I got out of A-Cad. Those glasses have never been right! I turned down the trifocals, though.
DeleteMy sister the ex-mayor's wife gets her readers off the rack at Walmart. I think she has a pair in every color.
Poor Hick, slipping like his feet were buttered.
I was scammed once by WalMart vision place. It took me months to realize I was given the wrong prescription, almost failed a class because I could not read, had eyestrain, and cost me more. I did get my money returned for the shoddy job and wrong prescription.
ReplyDeleteAt least you got your money back!
DeleteI'm having glasses problems myself. My ten year old plastic frames with the bifocal lenses has snapped at the nose piece. Maybe they are older than ten, I think I've had replacement lenses in the two or three times now. Anyway, I fixed them with superglue which held pretty well for a couple of weeks until I tried to clean the lenses this morning, when the weak spot gave way again. They're on the table next to me right now, waiting for the new application of superglue to set. I only use them for watching TV, but don't want to go and get new frames just yet, with Covid risk (minimal risk, but still), and they'd probably want to test the vision which means having machinery and someone's face close to mine, again, minimal Covid risk there. I suppose I'll have to go soon though.
ReplyDeleteRiver,
DeleteDon't forget about using duct tape! It can fix anything! I have never liked those eye people breathing on me, and especially not NOW. One of my optometrists was a gum-chewer. So annoying, but maybe it helped his breath.
Duct tape didn't hold firm and the second glueing didn't work so well, I did it wrong and the lenses were more crooked than my crossed eyes! Off to the optometrist this morning where I picked out new frames (pink!) and booked an eye test for Thursday. The only real problem I have now is watching TV with my prescription sunglasses so I don't get a headache from trying to focus without glasses. my readers are useless for TV.
DeleteI'd like to see Hick with pink frames!
DeleteClics are great and wrap around your neck . I have several pair. After 7 eye surgery's my sight is my life line. Poor hick.
ReplyDeleteHick might NEED a lifeline if I got a-hold of him with anything wrapped around his neck that I could tighten!
DeleteI'm convinced glasses industry is a racket. Nobody should have to pay $600. for a pair of scratch-resistant glasses, that have a two-year warranty... in CASE they scratch.
ReplyDeleteOoh! I fell for that one! I guess some glasses might not "resist" as much as they should...
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