I type up the letter on New Delly, and print it on my HP LaserJet, which is probably over 10 years old. But who's counting? The printer is about two arms' lengths away, on my right, on a stepped-up counter from my proper corner desk built by Hick. I wheel my rolly chair over, take out the printed page, and reinsert it, flipped over, to print the second page on the back. I sure don't want to pay a few cents extra on the postage, you know. Genius's two scratcher tickets aren't weightless.
Genius's letter printed out just fine, and I signed it and tucked it into the envelope. When I printed The Pony's letter and flipped it over, I had a hunch that I should smooth it down. This latest pack of paper I bought must be cheaper than the last, because when it prints, the corners want to curl up. When I flip it and slid it into the paper tray for the back side, it humps up a little bit.
Since the paper always looks like that, I usually let it go. Several months ago, one of Genius's letters jammed the printer. So I'd taken to reaching inside the paper tray area, that non-gaping maw, with my telescoping metal backscratcher, to make sure the corners were down. It's like a little five-fingered metal hand on a really, really thin metal arm. Yes. I DO think I'm pretty clever for thinking up this use for my trusty backscratcher.
Anyhoo...The Pony's letter didn't look any more humped-up than usual. But my inner voice was telling me to GET THE ARM and GIVE IT A HAND. Nope. No voice in my head is going to tell ME what to do! I clicked on PRINT, and heard the most horrible grinding noise! Not unlike the horrible grinding noise I'd heard several months ago. Then an alarm or an electronic scream or an appliance's cry for help sounded.
SHEESH! I thought that once I retired, my days of clearing paper jams would be over! I had to remove a stack of crap I'd piled on top, lift the hood, open a compartment, pull out the toner cartridge, and coax the bottom half of The Pony's letter out of HP LaserJet.
Got 'im! When I reprinted (good thing I didn't close out the file when I hit PRINT the second time), you can be certain that I used my long skinny metal arm's five metal fingers to make sure the front corners of the letter were down.
I had a hunch, you know.
Maybe you should just mail the scratchers and email the letter.
ReplyDeleteWhy would I do anything logical like that?
DeleteI only ever print one-sided. If the letter is too long my sister gets two pages, because I can't work out which way to put the paper back in so the page turns like a book. I should practise and get it right, but we don't write each other every week or even every year. Her letters to me are always hand written and sometimes hard to decipher as her mind races ahead of her hand and the letters are often 10 or 15 pages of stuff I really didn't need to know. BUT, she keeps a copy for herself and if I don't answer every single question, the next letter wants to know why. and of course by then I've thrown away her letter, unlike her, I don't keep every little thing that enters my house. She's a little odd, having been born brain damaged through lack of oxygen.
ReplyDeleteI learned way back when I first got this printer. I was still a working woman back then, and sometimes needed two-sided pages. The way I remember the direction is FACE DOWN, HEAD UP.
DeleteAt least you know you're expected to answer EVERY question! So do it. Even if it takes a year or two to return correspondence...
Gadfrey! I've seen that note about printing two-sided (or something like that) but never thought to actually try it. Considering your troubles I don't think I ever will.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good decision. At least it wasn't a big printer, like at school, where there are about 20 different "zones" to check for the offending shredded pieces.
DeleteFace down, head up. I'll make a note and stick it on the printer. Sometimes the questions are about things from the past that I've forgotten or just about things I don't know, so I'd ignore them, then of course she'd want to know why, so I started writing that I didn't remember or didn't know and a few weeks later I'd get a parcel sized letter explaining it all, which I then was expected to answer, so I'd put the whole thing aside for a few months, or a year.
ReplyDeleteYour printer might work differently! I had to experiment with just a couple sentences on each page, to see how the paper came out after I reinserted it different ways.
DeleteNow I understand your never-ending correspondence!