Let the record show that Hick did not actually buy the Auction Meat. He came home blathering excitedly about it. "I should have bid on it, but I wasn't sure you'd want it." Yeah. I would not. Especially since further details revealed that Hick didn't even know what kind of meat it was, the box only marked MEAT on the side.
Friday night, at 7:58, I got an email from Hick. A picture.
With Hick saying "I bought you some cookies"
"Mmm...cookies."
"You have to bake them I didn't know that but they look good"
"WHAT? THAT'S WORK!"
"But there is a reward at the end"
"Maybe The Pony will want them."
"Maybe they have marshmallows in them you might like them. Im home"
"Okay. I was pretty sure I heard you walking. But sometimes it's not."
So here's the deal. I got to looking at the picture, and I saw that this package of "cookies" is supposed to be refrigerated. Yet I see it laying there on a chair at the auction. Hmm...I wonder how long this package of "cookies" has gone UNrefrigerated.
Hick said that it was in the refrigerator at the auction. "She does that. Keeps cold foods in the refrigerator or freezer."
"Sure. And where is the cherry pie under the cookies in that picture?"
"Cherry pie? There ain't no cherry pie."
"Uh huh. The picture doesn't lie."
"Oh. Uh. It was on the shelf. When I took the cookie picture."
"No. It's sitting on the CHAIR where you took the cookie picture."
"Oh. Uh. That belonged to a lady. Not a lady. My buddy's wife. She bought some stuff. So I laid my cookies on her stuff and took the picture."
"Sure. You've come up with TWO different stories in less than a minute."
"Okay Val. Sure. I bought a box of cherry pies and ate them all today."
"Who said anything about a box...?"
I'm not so sure if Hick is trying to kill me with food-poisoned cookies, or with curiosity.
I can't get past the Entenmmann's cherry pie, I love them, love the lemon even more. I'm guessing Hick bought the box as well.
ReplyDeleteI never had an Entenmann's Cherry Pie, but I DO love boxed fried pies, usually the Save A Lot brand. Hostess will do, but the glaze flakes off of them. I gotta go with APPLE.
DeleteSince I never mentioned a BOX, but Hick referred to a BOX of pies, I'm pretty sure he's holding out on me. He also mentioned that a couple days ago, he threw out some food at the BARn to the dogs. So he obviously has a secret stash.
Good thing it wasn't Entenmann's chocolate covered donuts. THAT would be a problem! I haven't had them since The Pony went off to college.
If Hick has a stash, I'd look for it, under a kitchen towel maybe.
DeleteWhat do you think he is, some kind of genius? Hick would never think of such a secure hiding place. I imagine his stash is in The Original FRIG, now living in the BARn. Which would keep squirrels and mice from nibbling.
DeleteAre you sure he isn't trying to kill himself this time? He DID eat a whole box of cherry pies and he does have "The Diabetes".
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! I don't think he ate the whole box, but I'm pretty sure he has those pies stashed over at his BARn. Probably a couple of them missing. He's usually a donut-sneaker when he goes to town, but he will flaunt a candy bar when he stops for gas on our Oklahoma trips.
DeleteI believe him, he ate them all. That's what HeWho would do. Make the evidence vanish …. but be dumb enough to take a picture first.
ReplyDeleteHick forgets that my 28 years interacting with adolescents has allowed me to become a master of reading between the lines. How did he know there was a BOX of cherry pies, if he couldn't even remember they were in his picture?
DeleteJust like when a student would say, "You can't PROVE I wrote that note..." When an innocent person would say, "I didn't write the note."
So you are not a cookie baker? I am and at Christmas it is heaven around here.
ReplyDeleteI am not. I can't remember the last time I baked cookies, even the fundraiser kind that come in a tub, all ready to plop on a pan.
DeleteMy sister the ex-mayor's wife is the cookie-baker. She has a big tray ready (candy, too!) when we go to her house Christmas Eve.