Lest you think Hick is an anomaly in these parts, I assure you that he is not. His cronies are all cut from the same cloth. Hickcloth! It's not so much a tangible thing, like a flannel houndstooth or silky paisley or a sturdy canvas duck. It's more of an attitude.
Last night, Hick sat in the La-Z-Boy, laughing at his phone. He's a simple fellow, yet so complex.
"What's so funny now? Are you watching YouTube videos again?"
"No. It's This Guy." [You might remember This Guy, and This Guy's Wife, who sold us the $5000 house. Hick has been friends with them since high school.] This Guy's Wife put a picture on Facebook. Heh, heh! There's This Guy, holding a possum by the tail!"
"Wait! Let me get my glasses! That's a BIG possum!"
"Yeah. It comes up on their back porch, and eats the cat food. Every time it does that, This Guy grabs it by the tail, and throws it in the front yard."
"Doesn't it just come back?"
"Yeah. And he does it again!"
"That doesn't seem very efficient. But at least a bite can't give him leprosy, like an armadillo."
"I told him I have a trap. We should catch it, and bring it out here."
"NO! Why would you do THAT? We have our own possums. Like the one you threw down the sinkhole, and the one you threw over the fence in Copper Jack's field next door."
"I didn't mean HERE, Val! I meant we'll let it out down by the low water bridge. By the guy who has all the poop trucks dumping on his land."
"Well. I'm pretty sure one of you is going to get bit."
I think there's good money to be made if somebody wants to open up a daycare for retired men. Kind of like a doggie daycare. They could meet up with their friends every day. Have some activities so they don't get bored. Snacks. A recliner to take a nap. Then their wives pick them up at the end of the day, when they're all tuckered out and can't get into trouble.
Sounds like fun to me. I mean your daycare for retired men.
ReplyDeleteWe'll need a sweet young thing to put on the billboard out by the highway, and a stern old crone to run it once you're signed up...
DeleteThose opossums are nasty, with nasty sharp teeth. I wouldn't mess with them.
ReplyDeleteMrs C just shoves me down to the basement with my stupid guitar and that is my old man daycare.
Mrs. C is good at saving a buck. I hope she keeps you hydrated with partial glasses of water that have been sitting around with a paper towel over them.
DeleteI can't speak for possums, but my left thumb will tell you that chipmunks are sneaky little furballs with long sharp incisors. I feel like this behavior should have a name, but "Playing Chipmunk" never caught on.
"Playing Chipmunk" Very funny!
DeleteIt's a game that is more fun for the giver than the receiver.
DeleteMine did get a trap, but the varmint devoured so much of hubby's garden vittles, it didn't fit int he cage. LOL
ReplyDeleteNow I wonder where you were going to let it loose if you caught it...
DeleteI'm sure possum traps have their rightful place in the world, but I get upset reading about them because back in 2017 my nasty upstairs neighbour hired a trapper to come and set the traps to catch possums up on the roof of our flats. He was much closer to the roof of course, having the upper flat, but I'm pretty sure he also instructed the trapper to get my cat, because as soon as Angel was gone, so was the trapper. And we still get the occasional possum up on the roof.
ReplyDeleteI like your Daycare for elderly men idea. We have something in Adelaide called the Men's Shed, I think they have to pay a fee to join, but then they can hang out there, yarning, having coffee or whatever and maybe doing a bit of hobby work, woodworking or whatever.
Oh, no! I hope that's not what happened to your Angel. A couple months after my favorite cat disappeared (the one in the picture up top), Hick saw her over at Neighbor Tommy's house. He figured Tommy and his mom were keeping my Snuggles inside. I was okay with that, if they liked her so much that they kept her in the house.
DeleteThe Men's Shed sounds like a good idea. It can keep them out of trouble with possums, anyway.
If Angel was trapped I hope the trapper gave her a nice home. The nicest home would be yours, very sad she went missing.
DeleteAngel-boy, not girl and only three and a half years old when he went. He'd be 6 this coming December 17th. If a trapper was looking after him, there'd be a vet visit at least once and then the microchip would reveal he wasn't the owner.
DeleteI'm game and I want to be on the list for old men daycare, I will sigh hubs up right now.
ReplyDeleteWe've been saving a spot for him. Not responsible if he picks up new bad habits!
Delete