Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Pony Is No Heidi

This morning The Pony had to be at school by 6:45. That's A.M., you know. So we had to leave 40 minutes early. It's not like we had to get up any earlier. But our schedule was disrupted.

I am normally the first one up. I take my thyroid medicine, because I only have a sliver of a thyroid left, you know, and I have to get my body systems in working order. That med says I should take it an hour before a meal. So I pack the lunches, take a shower, wake The Pony, and try to catch a quick chair nap before time to grab a packet of two mini sausage biscuits and take my other two meds. That's the routine.

This morning I had to find the tax receipts from the past two years so Hick could transfer the license on my mom's Trailblazer, since we bought out the half belonging to my sister the ex-mayor's wife. Then I had to write out a check for estimated taxes, because what with Genius being an RA this year, and still having his scholarships, the school is kind of paying him to attend, and the deadline for paying estimated taxes first quarter is April 15. Which is only one day away.

Then I had to scrounge up some spending money for The Pony, who was going with our school team to compete at the W.Y.S.E state finals which so happened to be held on the campus of Genius's college. (Unfortunately, they did not win any medals, but still, they qualified to compete at the state level). The Pony said the bus was leaving at 7:00, and that they might stop for breakfast and eat it on the bus if they had a drive who allowed it. For that reason, he declined my offer to drive him through Hardee's so he for sure had a stick-to-his-scrawny-ribs protein breakfast in case the plans fell through.

I had to grab my second-tier meds and take them on the drive, what with time being of the essence. So I heated my two mini sausage biscuits in the microwave with two drawer pulls for the handle, and wrapped them in a paper towel, and off we went. We had reached the county road when it was time to take those meds and eat my breakfast.

"You know, Pony, my sausage biscuits are now hard as rocks. It would have been nice to have a soft Hardee's biscuit."

"I never said YOU couldn't go through there. I just said I didn't want to."

"That's okay. I'll make do." I bit into one.


"What WAS that?"

"Just my sausage biscuit."

"You don't have to eat those."

"Oh, but I do. That, or take my meds on an empty stomach with only water sloshing around. That's not good." I took another bite.


"That's terrible. A biscuit should not sound like that."

"You're tellin' ME!"


"That might or might not have been a tooth."

"I can't believe you're eating those."

"I still have a whole one left to go. You're welcome to a bite if you'd like."

"No. I'll just sit back here, silently judging you."

"I think you need to review the definition of SILENTLY."

Let the record show that The Pony did NOT get to stop for breakfast, because four members of his team were fifteen minutes late. The Pony said that was okay, because one of the others had a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.

The trip takes about 80 minutes. I imagine they all hit a sugar crash at around the time they started the competition.

Let's see who can figure out that title!


  1. I have not a clue. He doesn't look cute in blonde braids and a dirndl skirt?

  2. Sioux,
    Of course The Pony looks cute in blonde braids and a dirndl skirt! The goatee and one sideburn pull his look together.

    Yes, Heidi. I'm sure you've heard of her, especially if you were ever a football fan. In fact, Joe H must be boycotting this post because of that Heidi/NBC fiasco involving the NY Jets back on Nov. 17, 1968.

    The Pony is no Heidi because Heidi actually cared about people! Heidi would never have ridden in the back seat of a 2008 Chevy Tahoe, not-so-silently judging the eater of a crispy biscuit! After all, Heidi went to great lengths to save SOFT ROLLS for Grandmother.

  3. The only thing I know about Heidi is she ruined the end of a televised Jet game about 50 years ago.

    1. Proving that she did NOT care about people! Maybe my title is wrong!