Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Family Tuxter

Hey, blog buddies, do you know what time it is?


Somebody around the old homestead is pretty excited. And it's not Hick and it's not Val. To say The Pony is looking forward to prom would be an understatement.

Is that the smile of a Pony who is simply looking forward to prom? No. Let the record show that The Pony is not one to exhibit great emotion. I'm surprised his feet are even touching the ground.

Lest you think I'm a really bad picture-taker...I AM! But not THAT bad. I had to crop The Pony's identity out of the photo. We're deep in the Blogger Protection Program, you know.

Here's another pic, showing his vest in all its coral glory. That's the color his date requested, as her dress contains a good deal of that hue. This photo was taken with The Pony's phone, so the tint is a bit different.

The tux workers rushed The Pony forthwith, and cinched his vest a mite tighter. He's a slender fellow. He reminds me of the banker in Monopoly in this photo.

So here's a little tale from the tuxedo rental shop, which is kind of like wedding and prom headquarters for this area. We arrived as one of The Pony's cronies was picking up his tux, and another was ordering a tux for next weekend for his girlfriend's school prom. There was another prom dude from a neighboring school district, and a kid trying on wedding party attire which included suspenders.

The Pony came out of the dressing room fairly quickly compared to his cohorts, only the wedding boy exiting faster, and he was not wearing a jacket, and said it was his fourth tux experience. The crony took so long that his mother called out to ask if he was okay. He was. The other dude held the record for longest try-on. In fact, The Pony was back in his cubicle getting dressed when Slow Dude finally came out for appraisal.

Slow Dude did not have family waiting. It was just Val, Crony, Crony's Mom, Crony's elementary-school sister, three tux shop gals, and Wedding Boy who witnessed his grand entrance. Slow Dude opened his louvered door and strode out like a king, thumbs hooked in the tiny pockets of his golden vest, WHICH HE HAD ON OVER HIS JACKET!

Yep. Slow Dude was wearing the vest over the jacket. I smiled. Crony did a double-take. Crony's Mom let out a giggle. Crony's Sister gaped in shock. The three tux gals ripped out big snorts of laughter. Wedding Boy said, "Dude."

"Oh, we don't mean to laugh at you! The vest goes UNDER the jacket." The tux shop gals are really nice.

"WHAT?" Yeah. Slow Dude could not believe it. He thought they were pulling his leg. "UNDER the jacket? WHY?"

When I asked The Pony if he heard what happened, he said he did not. After I explained, he commented, "Even I know THAT!"


  1. Well that explains a lot! I thought I was the life of the prom!

    1. Har, har, joeh. Or as Val would say, "Heh, heh."

  2. My goodness. I guess--given what happened-- it was amazing that Slow Dude put the vest on his torso. He might have ASSumed it was an odd boy version of a skirt/shorts.

    Isn't it nice when your own kid shines, compared to the pool of dullards that apparently are patrons of the tux shop?

  3. Oh, forgot to mention how dapper The Pony looks. Since I paid extra tour fees to meet him, I can attest--grins that cut across his whole face seem out of character. It must be true love...

  4. All Pony needs is a mustache and a top hat and he'd be a young Rich Uncle Pennybags.

  5. That is one very nice looking suit. He needs a pocket watch.

  6. joeh,
    All these years, you've been doing it wrong. I'm shocked that Mrs. Cranky hasn't enlightened you.

    I am indeed proud that my little Pony only came out of the dressing room holding his tie, which is basically just an already-knotted strip of fabric on an elastic noose, proclaiming, "I don't know how to tie this tie."

    You are correct, Madam. The Pony is a sedate, sober fellow not given to fits of laughter, nor tears. Quite even-keeled. This is an extravagant display of emotion for him.

    He's working on the mustache. A top hat is not yet in his haberdashery, but he DOES have an Indiana Jones fedora.

    Oh, The Pony has pocket watches! Four or five at the minimum. He has already selected the one that is going to prom. He sadly revealed that the pockets on the vest are fake. But he can put his watch in the trouser pocket and use that little chain clip on his waistband.

  7. He looks pretty darn spiffy. I hope he has a great time.

  8. Stephen,
    He picked up the corsage today. I've never seen a boy so excited to get a corsage.

  9. Kathy,
    He's the unsinkable Pony Thevictorian. He has been looking forward to this for over two months, ever since his prom date said she would go.

    It's a little bittersweet for me. The last time we visited my mom before she died was the evening The Pony's date accepted his "prom-posal." In fact, he was right there sitting on Mom's bed at the rehab facility. She was as excited as him when he told her the news.