Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Long-Awaited Appearance

Did you catch it?

Here now! No need to panic. I'm not referring to some exotic or hush-hush disease. I'm merely wondering if you happened to see my blog buddy, Ann (aka MommyX) on Good Morning America today. I am totally living her 15 minutes of fame vicariously. Maybe it was more like one minute of fame. But it has been long time coming. Her segment has been postponed more times than the entry deadline in a procrastinator's contest.

I've been trying to get the word out so people have a chance to brush my brush with greatness. Yes, I've been pim...push...foisting Ann's appearance on GMA onto my unsuspecting readers for the past couple of weeks. I'm striving to be the Don King to Ann's Mike Tyson (let the record show that I have prohibited ear-biting, and stated off-handedly that I find facial tattoos unbecoming). I want to be the Huma Abedin to her Hillary Clinton. The Judy Ogle to her Dolly Parton. The Michael Caine to her Sandra Bullock (the most congenial Gracie Lou Freebush). Who knows, I could turn out to be a real Svengali. Or as Elaine Benes might say, Svenjolly.

I set my DVR, but since my plan time at school was right after GMA's airing, I found Ann's segment online and watched it there. Who knew Ann would have a southern accent? Not me! You'd think I might have caught on that Missi-freakin-sippi is in the SOUTH by now. I'll let you in on a little secret: geography was never Val's best subject. Here's the transcript version, in case you might be distracted by the accent.

The kernel that I took away from the segment was that some moms are stressed, and some moms have anxiety, and they use prescription medication to deal with it. It's not about recreational drug use and bragging about scoring illicit narcotics while you're supposed to be minding the baby. You'd think that was the focus, though, after reading the comments on the GMA site. Probably from childless folk, or narcotic addicts. I can't speak for Ann, but I seriously doubt that her blog title, "Mommy Needs a Xanax," is a cry for help or an endorsement for getting high in order to deal with your own children. Perhaps some people have never heard of hyperbole. Or looked at blogging as a way of relieving stress.

I'm thinking of starting a third blog myself: "Teacher Needs a Blog." And a fourth: "Wifey Needs a Blog." Not really. Just letting off some steam through my fingertips again.

6 comments:

  1. Yes, some folks are denser than others...

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  2. I'm thinking "teacher needs to vent" and "wifey needs a lifey" for my new blog titles. Unfortunately, I didn't see your buddy, the druggie with the drawl, but I admire her for taking control of her life, doing what's best for her. I also admire your plethora of knowledge about characters and actors.

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  3. Thanks for the links. I missed the live show, but now I can check it out via your links.

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  4. Wow, I thought every subject was something you were good at. I'm not the only one then who doesn't know her geography. I'll check out Mommy Needs a Xanax sometime. In the beginning of your post, I had no idea who half those people were you were talking about. I might live in a cave.

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  5. I totally agree and am a little irritated that you said it better than I did. Darn you, Val, always the victorian.

    I hope you got some extra traffic yesterday.

    A friend of mine who grew up here but has lived in Vermont for about 10 years said my accent was "nice Southern, not crazyass Southern." That might've been the biggest compliment anyone's given me out of this whole thing. "Nice Southern" is such a tiny target on the spectrum of Southern accent variations. I'm going to put "Went on national television, did not come off as total redneck" on my resume. I'm just thanking my lucky stars that none of the quotes they used involved pronouncing a long "I."

    I'm also refusing to go back and read any more comments below the video. Total dum dums!

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  6. Sioux,
    I trust your are NOT referring to me, Madam.

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    Linda,
    Some people store useful knowledge in their noggins, like how Mississippi is a southern state. Others store movie and pop culture trivia. The latter are more likely than the former to know that the Moops invaded Spain in the 8th century A.D.

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    Donna,
    I AM here to provide a service, you know. I'm not up to HULU standards just yet.

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    Lynn,
    Shh...I don't want my high school to take back my valedictorian title. If you live in a cave, you might worry if you host a dinner party. Lou Grant could show up and take half of your Woolly Mammoth Prince Orloff.

    (Sorry if you don't get that reference. Only Mary Tyler Moore fans and science nerds will chuckle.)

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    MommyX,
    Be more careful with that hoping. I got REAL traffic yesterday, like CRAZY road-ragin' people. The Pony and I saw a wreck in front of McDonalds near Walmart. The Pony argued that it was just two carloads of people who stopped to have a little reunion in the middle of the street. Until a woman picked up her front bumper and stashed it in the back seat.

    I apologize for not recognizing that you had the upper crust accent. The four days I spent in Missi-freakin-sippi in July 2010 were so hot that my ears almost melted right off my head. I think sound was distorted, and I did not discern between dialects.

    Gosh! You'd think with all those southern accents drawing out the syllables, Mississippi would not retain its title of The Fattest State. Because it takes longer to order food, and citizens probably miss out on a couple/three meals over the course of a year.

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