Sunday, July 15, 2012

Backroads Pickers

From the One Hick's Junk is Another Pony's Treasure files...

Sometimes, Hick scores a keeper. Take, for instance, his thoughtful purchase at last night's auction. Not for himself, of course. He bought himself a duck. A ceramic, bowl-shaped, lidded, jewelry-holder type of duck. Made in Italy! Or so Picker Hick proclaimed. I have no photo, because after traipsing into the house this morning to show it to me, in a manner that would have done Carol Merrill proud, she of the Monty Hall Let's Make a Deal spokesmodel era, even though she did not speak, Picker Hick hopped into his Gator (excuse me for calling it a Mule in previous posts--The Pony has now set me straight on the John Deere brand), much to the delight of the muttly trio, (who roused themselves to yip and yap and run circles around Picker Hick while waiting for him to put it in gear), and whisked it off to his cabin or BARn for suitable display amongst his other treasures.

Yeah. I'm practicing to enter the Guinness Book of Longest Run-On Sentences contest.

Picker Hick often buys items for The Pony. Not because he's a loving father who enjoys showering his youngest son with other people's cast-offs as gifts. But because he's got the fever. The buying fever. And he knows that he can get that rush from bidding and purchasing, and then get reimbursed from the First National Bank of The Pony. Insured by the VTIC (Val Thevictorian Insurance Corporation). Most often, these gifts fall into the category of random collector swords that single men had to give up when the new wife put her foot down. But Saturday night's Pony purchase was a book. That's right! You heard it here first. No need to catch it on the 11:00 news.

Picker Hick bought The Pony a book!

Not just any book. Something The Pony is actually interested in. Which is a double miracle, what with Picker Hick being the man who, upon moving my belongings into the House That Hick Built, arranged random tomes on the living room bookshelf based on LOOKS. He put the prettiest books on display. No matter whether it was Stephen King's unabridged The Stand, or a freshman year textbook for Composition and Rhetoric. Which appeared in my possession mysteriously, since I tested out of that class and obtained three hours of college credit on my transcript for free.

Not only did Picker Hick buy The Pony a book pertinent to his tastes...he got it for a song! No, Picker Hick did not actually have to warble a tune, most likely The Oak Ridge Boys' classic, Elvira, to obtain this book. He paid the low down rock bottom price of FOUR DOLLARS. And look at it:

The Pony's photo from my phone does not do it justice. That's his phone on top of it, to show the scale. This is a grand hardback coffee table book of archaeology. With glossy color photos inside. Just the ticket for a lad who has a love for ancient Greek and Roman history. And owns his very own Indiana Jones fedora and whip.

Kudos to Picker Hick. If I could only get him to do my Christmas shopping at the auction.


  1. If a ceramic duck is the sort of thing that Hick puts in his BARn, I'm intrigued...What the feng shui is going on?

    All of your followers would probably love a peek inside the BARn. Just a photo or two. We're all curious. And none of us will tell Hick. We promise.

  2. The Picker Show and those goof-balls who bid on storage units are enough to virtually stoke my bidding rush for days. Congrats to Hick for his savvy score. And I'm with Sioux. Give us a First Lady style grand tour of the BARn!

  3. Can I borrow that book on Archaeology when you guys are done with it?

  4. Sioux,
    Well...I don't want to show off Hick's handiwork too much. It would only encourage him.

    How about the folks who bid on unclaimed baggage? Some of them get some good stuff. Some get cheap suits. I think I posted some BARn pics one time. Maybe not here. I'll check into it.

    Too bad you don't live in the greater Backroads area. It would be handy to put you in my loan library. Of course, all the Backroads signs might suddenly turn up missing letters and sending the wrong message...