Hick Has Been Hired!

Hick has a job! He thinks. And you'll never guess who he's working for. Or maybe you will.

Hick has been hired by that unmarked pharmacy at a storefront with no sign in the mostly-abandoned Backroads Plaza. Uh huh. That's right. The one where Hick got an application from a clerk who works at Casey's General Store. Except that gal no longer works at Casey's. But Hick tracked her down, and found out this unmarked pharmacy is hiring.

I KNOW, RIGHT! What could possibly go wrong with such connections?

Hick picked up an application at the storefront. He filled it out, and dropped it off on a SUNDAY. He had an interview last Thursday. Problem was, Hick can't find his social security card. He knows it's here somewhere. He just can't find the where. The first guy, who gave him the application, said that a passport would do instead. Hick has that. Then he went for the interview, and THAT guy said that no, Hick needs a social security card. But that he can bring a letter from the social security office.

Anyhoo...while Hick was waiting for the weekend to pass so he could go to the local social security office...HOS (Hick's Oldest Son), who has also applied there, called. This was on Sunday, while Hick was selling at his Storage Unit Store. HOS said that the guy at the storefront wanted to know if Hick could come for his drug test at 11:00. No. He was selling. But he said he'd be there at 2:00.

That's right. Hick went to an unmarked storefront to do a drug test on a Sunday at 2:00. But there's more!

"I went in and two ladies were there, and they give me a cup to pee in. They waved me towards the bathroom. Anybody could have cheated on that drug test! They could take in a sample of somebody else's pee! Like, HOS could have had his wife pee in a cup--"

"WAIT a minute! I don't think that would work. HOS's wife is pregnant. I'm pretty sure they would notice that it wasn't HOS's pee. Just like when Elaine had Jerry's mom pee for her, because of the poppy seed muffins, and J. Peterman said she couldn't go to Kenya because her urine analysis showed she was menopausal."

"Well, yeah. But you know what I mean. And when I came out, they were testing it, and one said, 'It's only 93 degrees!' I told them, 'I don't know about that, but I just now peed in the cup.' And the other one said, 'Remember, we've been having trouble with the thermometer being off several degrees.'"

"Heh, heh! Did you have somebody pee for YOU?"

"No! I would have peed right there in front of them if they wanted me to. I don't care! I'm just saying, at work when somebody had to take a drug test, the tester went in with them so they couldn't cheat."

Anyhoo...Hick pretty much has the job, since he got his social security letter on Monday. He told the guy that we'll be gone this week to Oklahoma, but that he's ready to work. The guy was real disappointed, according to Hick, because he was ready to put him to work right away. The advantage being that Hick lives 10 minutes from that place, and can be there when they call, whereas the other workers right now live 25 miles away and have to get to the storefront first.

Oh, yeah. The job is delivering drugs. According to Hick, there are regular routes, and emergency routes. The deliveries are to nursing homes or hospitals. He will get 20-30 hours a week, driving the company car, with a gas credit card. Hick has told them he prefers evenings. He says he can earn up to $17,000 a year without it interfering with his social security benefits.

"Great. What if this is a front for illegal drug couriers? You get stopped, you'll take the rap, and go to the big house!"

"No. If the package is sealed, I'll have no way of knowing what's in it! I won't be in trouble. The company will. The ones who gave it to me to deliver."

"Tell that to those people I saw on LIVE PD. The ones in Arizona, who were hauling people or pot. They said they didn't know what was in there. That they were only told to drive the truck to a certain place. If you're in control of the package and the vehicle, you're responsible!"

"Val. There's a big difference in what I'm doing, and what they did. I'm delivering to established businesses."

Sorry. I'm still suspicious.