The SPOOKING Hour

As you know, Val is no stranger to unexplained phenomena. It usually occurs in her own home, in the wee hours of the morning, with Val as the sole witness.

Let's set that scenario on its ear.

Sunday morning (I use that term loosely, because it was going on noon when I left), I headed to Walmart. I made an unplanned stop at Orb K for a scratcher, and found a coin on the floor! That was a good start for the week. And fodder for Saturday's Future Pennyillionaire tally.

In Walmart, I turned up the candy/condiment aisle, seeking a large jar of olives. I love olives, and go through about a jar a week. DON'T JUDGE! Nobody was on that aisle. I had it all to myself. I chose my olives, set them in the bottom of the cart, up against the back, so they wouldn't slide around. Then I started looking at the dill pickle spears. I thought I'd bought some at Save A Lot last week, but couldn't remember. And here was a brand I hadn't seen before. Hick and I like a dill pickle spear on the side, when we have the terrible tater with pulled pork.

Let the record show that I was not actually touching the pickles. I was standing at the front of my cart, my eyes darting from one brand to another, and trying to remember if I'd already bought dill pickle spears. Sometimes I have trouble making a decision. I must have been contemplating those dill spears for over a full minute. No need to hurry and get out of the way. I had the aisle to myself.

Out of the corner of my left eye, I saw movement. I turned my head just in time to see two objects hit the floor. It was as if they'd been shot out of a cannon! Not like they merely toppled off the edge of the shelf.

I stood staring at them, thinking (and quite possibly mumbling out loud), "Are you freakin' kidding me?"

At first, I thought the bottle was hot sauce. I can't read the label, even when zooming in, but I think now that it's probably some kind of Chinese sauce, like duck sauce, or sweet and sour. That section of the shelf is for Asian foods.

Look at the distance that bottle is from the shelf! I'm shocked that it didn't shatter. I got out my phone to provide evidence that it DID happen, and just then, a lady turned in the aisle. I was going to look at it, and see what those foods were, and then put them back. But with a witness right there, I didn't want her thinking that I was the one responsible for those items on the floor.

How in the Not-Heaven did that happen? I saw them land. That bottle did not roll that way. If one item had fallen, from being perched precariously, it would not have swung in towards the shelf to knock down the second item. And they would not have landed so far apart. The odds of two different items toppling off the shelf at the exact same time is pretty astronomical, I would think.

Anyhoo...I don't know what's going on here, but it's a new unexplained incident for the Val files. Broad daylight, 12:21 p.m., in a populated area.

Oh, yeah. Pushing my cart to T-Hoe, I ran over a penny halfway up the parking aisle.