My mom has a complaint about her neighbor. The neighbor she peeps out the window to look for, to make sure he will not be watching her if she goes out to water her plants. Mom says he mows his yard every day. OFF WITH HIS HEAD! She didn't say that in so many words. But she seems to think his lawn-mowing is inappropriate. That's because he mows the same section every day.
"Maybe he just likes to keep his yard tidy."
"There's no need to mow that same spot every day!"
"I bet that's his best vantage point for watching you."
"Well, that may be. But he can still see me from the his porch when he sits there with the newspaper."
Mom is also upset with her good neighbor. A new restaurant opened up in town, with a 1950's theme.
"Naby called and said we all should go have lunch there. Her and the ladies I went to school with, and some I used to teach with. Like when we all go out to breakfast and sit for three hours."
"Oh, you should! I think you would really like it, from what the article in the paper said."
"Well, I'm not going to organize it. She's always saying these things, but then she never calls to say when we're going."
"Maybe just the two of you should go. To check it out."
"I am not going to call her and ask her to go to lunch. She's just waiting for me to call and ask."
"Like you are just waiting for HER to call and ask you to go? I have a feeling it's going to be a while before you go out to lunch."
"She's the one who called me about going to lunch. Let her be the one to start it."
Good thing I took Mom to lunch on Friday. An old gal could starve waiting to get a lunch invitation in these parts.
Well mowing the lawn ever day does seem a little strange.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your mother needs to get Nosey and Naby together at the restaurant. Nosey can report to Naby, telling her about your mom's minute-by-minute movements, and Naby can tell Nosey what it's like to wait by the phone--hour after hour--for your mother to call.
ReplyDeleteThat last line really had me chuckling.
ReplyDeleteHe can move to mu neighbourhood and mow my lawn anytime he likes!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of an old song: I was looking back to see if you were looking back to see, if I was looking back to see, if you were looking back at me.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she wants YOU to organize her lunch date!
ReplyDeletejoeh,
ReplyDeleteYeah. That's a little more OCD than making your bed every day.
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Sioux,
That sounds like a perfect solution. I wonder which one will call the other first?
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Stephen,
Mom wouldn't REALLY starve. She still has her slaw stockpile.
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serenity,
My mom would probably chip in with funds for his relocation.
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Linda,
That sounds like a song an ouroboros might use for a lullaby, to sing itself to sleep.
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Kathy,
Yes. If she does it herself, it will take longer than the planning of the invasion of Normandy.
I think the neighbor is planning a putting green. Maybe your mom should take him to lunch and find out.
ReplyDeleteCatalyst,
ReplyDeleteWait! Maybe you didn't see the episode--I mean blog post--where a big tree fell across that neighbor's driveway, and he couldn't get his car out, and he spent DAYS hacking at that tree with a hand saw. I asked Mom if she'd thought of taking him some food, just in case he was running out, and she said, "No. He HAS a wife."
Still don't know if Mom meant that his wife could work magic making food out of nothing, or if she meant that he could eat his wife as a last resort. Sometimes it's better not to ask Mom for clarification.
So...Mom won't be taking him to lunch, since she wouldn't even TAKE him lunch.