Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the library...
Hey!
Have you heard? There's a new program from the Missouri Department of
Conservation designed to get more people a-fishin'! It's called the
Discover Nature Fishing Rod and Reel Loaner Program. Yes. LOANER. You
can check out equipment FROM DESIGNATED LIBRARIES and try your hand at
fishing without investing in fishing accoutrements. Not too fast, there.
You still must have a fishing license if you're over the age of 14.
Which opens up the proverbial and literal can of worms from Val
Thevictorian's perspective.
If you already have a
fishing license, you probably have your own fishing equipment. Oh, and
you have to have a library card to check out the loaners. I'm not
complaining. Let there be a licensed, library-card-holding,
borrowed-equipment fishing frenzy! I'm not casting stones. Not trying to
make a ripple. It makes me no nevermind. I just think there are a few
kinks that need to be ironed out.
The fishing equipment
includes up to 12 poles per library, each with a little tackle box
containing hooks, sinkers, bobbers, rubber worms, and a stringer.
Apparently, the librarians are in charge of this equipment. One article
said that the librarians will put a marshmallow on each hook so that
nobody is snagged in the handling of the pole. That's fine for a
brand-new fishing pole and hook. But think about when people check in
their equipment after a day of fishing. There might be worm guts on the
hooks if they sprung for their own bait after buying a license and a
library card. At the very least, there's going to be smelly moss and
weed particles clinging to the line, and fish odor on the stringers. And
what about those reels that get jammed tighter than the dickens with
twisted line? Do the librarians really want to deal with this stuff? To
smell those used poles waiting to be checked out again?
I
don't know about your librarians, but the ones at my local library are
mostly volunteers. Crotchety, dessicated, stern volunteers, who refuse
to deviate from established policy, and would like nothing better than
to sit amongst the books, stroking them, perhaps, while whispering sweet
nothings between their pages, while ignoring patrons as long as
possible. I can't imagine these would-be Cerberuses flinging wide their
gates to allow common folks to traipse about with sharp hooks (encased
in marshmallows) swinging from long rods, perhaps with an unpleasant
odor attached. I cannot see them spiffing up those fishing poles to
await borrowing by the next patron. Nor can I see the head librarian
taking on these duties. Neither do I imagine the Missouri Department of
Conservation will assign a paid or volunteer representative to be on the
premises daily to deal with their rods.
What about this pole-loaning program? It's a lofty endeavor, but do you think it will fly?
I wouldn't touch that kind of program with a ten-foot pole. (I couldn't resist.)
ReplyDelete"...do you think it will fly?" That's a brilliant pun.
What whacko thought this program up? Tell me, so I can have my students write (un)friendly letters this year.
I'm sure the intensions were good, but this is a very stupid idea. Especially because if you want to catch fish all you need is a stick and a very large flat rock.
ReplyDeleteI think a bunch of used fishing poles and equipment will stink up the libraries. Not a good idea or use of taxpayer money.
ReplyDeleteNot only will you have the dead mouse post office, no the dead fish library. Watch out for the Big Gulp Chicken Shack.
ReplyDeleteHadn't heard about this program, but I hope it will fly. I love my State of Missouri!
ReplyDeleteSioux,
ReplyDeleteIt's a noble concept, probably thought up by someone who doesn't know librarians, and who doesn't work with the public on a day-to-day basis.
*****
joeh,
It seems that "fishing with a stick and a big flat rock" is to Missouri as "drinking dirty-water cocktails" is to New Jersey. (Just in case anyone is asked to complete that analogy on a standardized test.)
*****
Stephen,
I agree. We in Missouri don't need no stinkin' libraries! We want our libraries to smell fresh. Like that little Snuggles bear is just behind the stacks.
*****
Linda,
I will not set foot in the Dead Fish Library. They charge each of us for a library card, while folks in the city limits get theirs for free. Did I mention there is no city tax? So even though we have the same address as city folk, we have to pay because we live outside the city limits. It's not like they deliver, you know, or like we live in another city. I can't figure out why we have to pay.
Donna,
It could work if the librarians don't mind cleaning fishing poles, and if the public does not take advantage and break the equipment.
Cerberuses--had to Google that one. As unfriendly as many librarians seem they would probably deeply resent being compared to three headed hell-hounds--while they try to untangle stinky fishing lines still bated with petrified mini marshmallows and ossified night crawlers.
ReplyDeleteHere's a link to what I'm talking about in my answer below:
Deletehttp://hillbillymansionthree.blogspot.com/2007/06/cerberus-guards-gates-of-library.html
Leenie,
ReplyDeleteI have already written an expose' on the Cerberuses who volunteer at the Backroads local library. It was on my supersecret, blog, though, several years ago. While I may have exaggerated the number of heads, I assure you they were hellhounds, and petrified and ossified as well. It was not a welcoming place for children, which I why we were there in the first place. Not because they were unwelcome--but because my boys needed something to read over the summer.