Sunday, June 15, 2014

I Fear That if I Hosted Dinner Parties, People Might Confuse Me With Mary Richards

Hick cooked himself a nice steak for Father's Day. He even cooked one for me, too! What a guy! As he carried them into the kitchen on a stack of three paper plates (we are not exactly Chinet people, so it takes more than one plate to contain the juices), he declared, "That was the best sixty dollars I ever spent." He was referring, of course, to Gassy G, the gas grill he bought at the auction. I must say, Gassy G has performed stellarly in all of Hick's endeavors. That little dent on the front does not seem to differently-able Gassy G in any way.

Because the steaks were fairly Flintstone-brontosaurus-sized ribeyes from Save A Lot, Hick did not want much in the way of side dishes. He's quite the carnivore, you know. I offered a potato dish, or a baked potato. It's not like tossing one in the microwave and pushing the timer would wear me out. But Hick said no, that the salad I had mentioned would be fine. So he had a big salad of hearts of romaine, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions, and shredded sharp cheddar. I had originally thought about sauteing him some mushrooms and onions, but that seemed a bit out of my league, what with looking up the definition of saute, and dragging a pan out from that drawer under the stove, and raising the temperature of food in a way other than heating it in the microwave or warming it in the oven.

If you don't hear from me again, it could be due to the ingredient I added to my salad. I left off the tomato, and sprinkled on some sunflower seeds. The thing is, I found that bag of sunflower seeds in my small pantry beside Frig, and the bag was unopened, so I figured it was fairly new, even though I couldn't remember the last time I bought sunflower seeds, so I looked at the date, and it said, "Best by 06 10 10." Which is not really fresh. But they WERE unopened. So I cut open the bag and tasted a few, and I didn't keel over, so I added them to my salad. They were quite tasty. I can't imagine how I could have stood the pleasure if I had used them before 06 10 10.

This shall never be mentioned in the presence of my mother, who once served me four-year-old ranch dressing on Thanksgiving.

6 comments:

  1. I am sure that those seeds are fine. If a bird found an old, uncracked-open sunflower seed, they wouldn't care how old the seed was. They'd just thank their lucky stars.

    I imagine that if Mr. Grant came, he wouldn't want any side dishes either. He looked like an "all meat" kind of guy...

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  2. Hick has a point. if you have a big good steak you really don't need much else. Tell him I wished him a Happy Father's Day.

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  3. We had some thick beautiful Costco steaks as well. Grilled on a Weber I got as gift for staying with the same company for 30 years. That Weber is now 16 years old and it still fires up on the first push of the electric starter. 16 years and it always fires on the first push. Love my Weber.

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  4. Hey we have the same kind of china. My kids thought my good dishes were Chinette. Those seeds may sprout a stem in your gut, ha ha.

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  5. I say never get between a man and his fire. Never let him know you might be able to operate any hing like grills, lawn mowers, chain saw and weed whackers. They do the same to us with dishwashers, clothes dryers and vacuum cleaners. Fair trade.

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  6. Sioux,
    Um...you have seen Val in the flesh, and should surely remember that Val is no bird! Buzzards eat carrion, but that does not mean that I could get away with it.

    Mr. Grant is a Veal Prince Orloff kind of guy. One who takes three servings from the platter. HALF the Veal Prince Orloff! So unless he puts some back, there won't be enough for Rhoda to share with her unexpected date, who must sit alone at a little table over by the balcony.

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    Stephen,
    The steaks were excellent. Grilling is one of Hick's talents, along with catching millipedes and disposing of bathroom ceiling light vent fan mice. I will relay your message.

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    joeh,
    We have two kettle Webers for when Hick feels like charcoal instead of gas. They were our first grills, and still perform like champs.

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    Linda,
    I don't need to be growing sunflowers in my gut. Birds may try to get at them for the seeds, no matter how old they are. Just ask Sioux.

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    Leenie,
    They see it as very fair trade indeed, what with their realm operating on a seasonal basis, and ours all year round.

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