It Could Have Been Worse

I drove my mom to the doctor this morning. She's perfectly capable of driving herself, but she was having a biopsy of a little growth in front of her ear, and I didn't want her driving in case she felt woozy.

Last week, when she went in to ask the doctor about the growth, a new nurse took her in. "She was really young. She treated me different from Chatty, the regular nurse, who never stops talking. I take her peppermints. She LOVES peppermints. Anyway, this new girl was taking my information. She asked if I still lived at the same address. Then she says, 'Who's with you?' and I told her nobody. And she said, 'You drove yourself ALL THE WAY OVER HERE BY YOURSELF?' And I said, 'Yes. I'm perfectly capable of driving myself. I do it all the time.' THEN she said, 'Do you eat your vegetables?' I don't know what she thought was wrong with me."

"I told you they treat older people differently. When I took you for surgery that time, they kept talking to ME, like you weren't even in the room. And I told them, 'I don't know. Ask HER.' Remember that?"

"I do remember that."

"And you were barely 70 then. I don't know what's wrong with people. They need to have more respect."

So, I drove Mom to the doctor. She refused to be let out at the door, though if it had been still raining when we arrived, she had said she might get out at the door. We walked in, despite a delivery truck blocking the concrete sidewalk ramps so I had to step up and down. Inside, there was some grand rummage sale of scrubs and health care uniforms in the lobby. There must have been 10 racks clogging the area where chairs usually sit.

We wove our way to the two elevators, and two men jumped out of the racks and beat us to the button. "We'll just wait for the next one, Mom, if that's okay with you." I don't like to ride with people if I can get a private elevator car to myself. Mom said that was fine. We pushed the button. Both elevators were on the top floor: 4. Yeah. What did you expect, a high-rise?

The elevator on the left came down and opened up. Nobody was inside. We stepped in and I pushed 4. That's when it happened. The stampede of a migration of childebeests. FOUR adults and THREE children crammed in after us. I call shenanigans! Where were they while we were waiting? They must have been crouched in the clothing racks like lions around a watering hole. Did they all go to the 4th floor with us? Nope. One adult got off on 2. Two adults got off on 3. And the last adult and two kids got off on 4 with us. I swear. That elevator was like a clown car.

But that's not the most exciting thing that happened to us at the doctor today. Nope. Nothing odd about rude elevator usurpers. It was after Mom signed in, while she was waiting to be called, that weirdness visited us. I chose a row of three chairs against the wall, way down the hall, where people wouldn't bother me. As much. Mom came all the way back. "I'll just wait down here away from everybody until they call me."

I had chosen the middle of the three seats to discourage those weirdos who want to sit by me when there are 30 other empty chairs around the room. "Here, Mom. I'll move over one."

"Oh, no. That's fine. I'll sit over here." She moved to my right.

"No. That's farther away. Let me move my purse. Sit here on my left, where you're closer when they call you."

"Well...I don't know if I want to sit there. There's something on the chair."

Indeed. There WAS something on the chair. Something I had not noticed. "What IS that?" Let the record show that I was not wearing my glasses. "It looks like...cat vomit? I don't know...a cookie? Is it part of a cookie?"

Mom leaned over. Almost put her nose on it. "Oh! It's a rabbit!"

Looks more like a koala bear to me. But who am I to contradict my mother? Mom sat down like a brave little soldier, and left that rabbit/koala right were it was.

Never a dull moment when Mom and I go out on the town.