They Must Be Saving Too Much

What's the deal here? I went to Save A Lot on Wednesday, and when I got back out to T-Hoe, I couldn't read the amount I spent on the receipt! Surely Save A Lot can afford to put ink in their receipt-printer! It's a mystery. 

I only wrote down the numbers I could read in my checkbook register. I could have tried to guess what that missing number was. But there was only a one in ten chance of being right. So I waited until Friday, when I used my bank's automated phone number to reconcile my account. 

Do you feel lucky? Want to wager a guess about that missing number? Be honest! You can put your guess in a comment. But I am going to put the answer below. So if you keep reading before guessing, you are cheating!

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According to my bank's automated voice, that missing number was "1." That would not have been my guess.

Reuben Day Again!

Hick has not been bringing home a monthly menu from the Senior Center for the past couple months. Now that he's "working" there, maybe he will have lunch more often, and remember to bring one. Though I think there's probably another reason that we all realize will lead to him eating lunch there more often...

Anyhoo... on Monday Hick revealed that Tuesday would be REUBEN DAY! He said he'd bring me one for supper. That it would be easier without a certain person answering the phone. Indeed, Hick DID bring me my precious Reuben.

"Ooh! That looks good! How did you know they were having it?"

"I checked on my phone for the menu."

"Bring a menu home so I can see if I want something else. That salad looks good, but I could do without the beets."

"Oh. You don't like beets?"

"I'm pretty sure we went over this before. MORE THAN ONCE! I've never liked beats."

"I'll try to remember next time to tell them to leave out the beets."

When I looked in the dessert box, Hick was not home. I was mystified.

That is not what I would describe as appetizing. I gave it a sniff. It smelled sweet. Kind of like buttercream icing. But that's not cake. I don't know what the liquid is seeping out. When Hick got home again, I asked.

"I don't know what it was called, but it was good."

"You're getting it. I just wanted to know what it's supposed to be."

"It's cream cheese and grapes."

"Are you sure? It looks more like Cool Whip."

"It might be Miracle Whip and grapes."

"NO! Miracle Whip is just mayo with sugar in it. I said COOL Whip. But there's some other chunks in there besides grapes. I can see nuts and something else."

"My phone says the menu was Grilled Reuben, Chef Salad, Beets, Grapes in a Cloud."

Hick ate it like it was good. I enjoyed the salad, though I used my own blue cheese dressing on it, not the little packet. The Reuben was great. Heated in the oven, the bread toasted up nicely.

Hick was thrilled on Wednesday when he had meat loaf. 

"They give us all three pieces! The mayor was there having lunch, and wanted to meet me since I started working there. So the gal took me over and introduced me. The mayor said she'd been hearing a lot of good things about me, and to let her know if there's anything she can do for me. So I told her the yard needs mowed, and I think the city should do it. And that there's still a limb in the back parking lot that needs cleaned up. And that I have a whole page list of things I want to talk about at our meeting."

"Oh, no! You shouldn't have told her all that now."

"Well. She asked. So I told her."

"Heh, heh! You might get fired now!"

"I don't think so. But if I'm going to do this job, I'm going to do it right. It seems like it hasn't been done right. I guess that guy was just not able to do some of the stuff."

I wonder if that guy could have remembered that his wife never liked beets...

NEXT! Bargain House Bedroom Progress

Hick sent pictures of the front bedroom of Bargain House on Wednesday. He's been busy with his store and the elderly apartments, but he and Old Buddy finished the trim and put in the light and receptacles.

Hick says there are a couple areas where the paint needs touch-up, but they're not noticeable in the picture. The chair is one that was in the house. Not sure why he set it there. It's not like that's a way to "stage" a bedroom. I can imagine Hick sitting there, telling Old Buddy what to do, heh, heh. The only suggestion I have for this area is that Hick paint the light switch plate and electrical receptable white.

See? This electrical receptacle is white, and goes with the trim. The light fixture looks nice. There's that chair again. Not sure if Hick moved it, or if there were two. Kind of ruins my vision of Hick the taskmaster ordering Old Buddy around, if they each had a chair.

Hick said they also ran the exhaust for the bathroom vent so it goes to the outside. And that next, they are starting on the other bedroom, first by painting the closet. He says it doesn't need much work.

Hick also went by to talk to Realtor about any suggestions for the Double Hovel. Any ways to bring it to the attention of more buyers, or if we should adjust the price. I've always said that her listing did it no favors, and maybe just an updated listing, better describing the properties, might garner more interest. Unfortunately, Realtor was not in her office. Hick had to get to the Senior Center. Not to work, but to eat meat loaf for lunch. Then he was heading over to Illinois to pick up some merchandise for his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5).

Hick Dives into His New Job

Hick has been doing the duties of his new job. Not that it takes up much time. The old guy showed him what needed to be done. He fixed a couple things brought to his attention, like the lights in the hall. He said he had a meeting to take the expenditures to the city accountant, or some such entity. I don't really listen the whole time he's droning about things that don't interest me much.

Monday evening he got a phone call. I didn't hear to much of it, but it sounded like a problem. So I asked what was going on.

"It was a lady at the Senior Center. She said she turned on her kitchen sink, and the water gushed out all over the floor, and would I come fix it in the morning. I said sure."

"Is she okay? Should you go tonight?"

"No. She said she got it mopped up. She asked me to come in the morning. She said she left the mop right there, in case there's a mess, I can clean it up."

"Will she go somewhere while you're working? I mean, where would she have to go?"

"She's 88 years old. She still drives, though. She'll probably just go downstairs while they're getting lunch ready. She's usually down there by 8:30."

"Was it her faucet? Did it spray the kitchen?"

"No. I think it was probably a bolt that came loose from a pipe under the sink. I'll get it fixed. I'd go at 7:00, but that's probably too early for her. So I told her 8:00."

I'm sure Hick would have gone that evening if it was an emergency, or if the lady had asked. It takes about 20 minutes for him to get there. He wouldn't leave an old lady with water leaking overnight in her kitchen.

Less Taxing Than Last Year

You may recall that I started working on our taxes March 20. That was a Wednesday. I got a lot done, and the weather calmed down, and I was able to get to town the next day like normal. By Friday evening, I had Hick's business information entered, everything finished. 

I'd reviewed my returns twice. 

On Saturday, I submitted the tax returns online as usual. I got the email that they'd been received, both federal and state. That was a relief. Done for another year. I usually don't give it another thought. I'm not one of those people who constantly check to see if our refund had been issued yet.

Imagine my surprise on Friday, when doing the weekly balancing of our checking account, when the bank information line said we had a deposit for the amount of the Missouri tax refund! That has to be a record! Submitted on Saturday, refund deposited on Friday! It usually takes a few weeks. And in the past, Missouri has lagged behind the federal refund.

Anyhoo... it's not like we're rolling in dough. We always have the taxes held out up front from any monies we receive, and set our exemptions so that we are more likely to get a refund rather than having to pay. I know that we are just giving the feds interest money by letting them hold out more than necessary. But it prevents a "surprise" tax bill. You never know when we might sell a flip house, or if Hick will have a really good year of SUS2.5 sales.

The Pony was working on taxes Sunday. He called for the amount we had spent on the QuickFlip renovations between buying it, then selling it three weeks later. The Pony got his own paperwork for his portion of the sale at closing. So he had those figures, just not the expenditures. Back at the time of the sale, The Pony looked up info on capital gains. He set aside some of his profit for tax time.

The Pony said his taxes are done, but he's waiting a week to file, so he can look over it again with "fresh eyes" to see if there's something he might have missed. He will be paying again, not getting a refund. But he says it looks like the amount will only be about half of what he planned for.

Poor Genius. He also has to pay. An amount that is near what The Pony made off the QuickFlip. POOR Genius, indeed! That's a terrible problem to have...

Hick Can Renovate a Kitchen, But Can't Comprehend What Goes on in One

Hick is quite talented at looking at a room in a flip house, and knowing what to do with it. Make it smaller, make it bigger, turn it into another room. It's simple for him. He might draw a floor plan for me if I ask, but for him, it's all in his head. He takes measurements, cuts boards, and VOILA! A new room has been created.

It's the simple things that give Hick trouble.

Saturday night, I made meat loaf for supper. I don't have a recipe. I just throw stuff in. Hamburger, wheat bread crumbs, a couple eggs, some powdered onion soup mix, Worcestershire sauce, and steak sauce. I bake it in a glass 9 x 13 pan that was handed down from my mom. It's at least 65 years old. I'm careful not to grab the part where the end has chipped. I bake my meat loaf at 350, for about 40-50 minutes, then add ketchup to the top, and put it back in the oven for another 10-15 minutes. I would never expect Hick to be able to do this. Not even with instructions written down.

No. I don't ask Hick to construct a meat loaf. The only thing I expected of him was to cut off a slice for his plate. I'd already made his mashed potatoes, and warmed up some garlic toast. I even had marked off the meat loaf in sections. You'd think wielding a knife to slice through meat loaf would be a job Hick was capable of.

"I've got the meat loaf out of the oven. I plan on us eating it for three nights. So I marked it into thirds. I know you like the end. So you can cut that section in half to get your part. I don't care if you take a little more than half. I'll get mine later."

Everybody knows what a slice of meat loaf looks like, right?

That picture is from several years ago. Not the current meat loaf. I only show it as an example of what a slice of meat loaf looks like. You know, in case you've been living under a rock, shacking up with the Geico caveman. A slice of meat loaf. Like you would get in a diner, a restaurant, or any normal home.

Hick took the knife, and I had to say 

"STOP! What are you doing??? That's not how you cut a meat loaf!"

Pardon me for this next picture. It's the actual meat loaf, but cold, in the battle-scarred glass baking dish that's Val's version of a family heirloom. Just to explain Hick's idea of cutting a meat loaf.

Imagine the other end still being on the meat loaf. You can see my dividing mark for Sunday and Monday suppers. Did Hick make his slice parallel to that cut in the ketchup? No siree, Bob! Hick was trying to make his cut with the KNIFE PERPENDICULAR TO THE DIVIDING LINE!

I just took the knife and cut it myself. Might as well. It seems like where Hick's kitchen skills are concerned, I should take care of every step. How can Hick be so old, and not understand the shape of a serving of meat loaf??? It should NOT be a square!

Hick says he was right about the way he wanted to cut the meat loaf. Because it was in half. And that I only want things done MY way. Well. Maybe he should amend that to my way, and the way everybody else in the world slices meat loaf...

I'm wondering if one of Hick's buddies IS the Geico caveman.

Hick Has 99 Talents and "Lucky Gambler" Ain't One

Hick has no trouble finding ways to spend his "spare" time between flipping houses, stocking and operating his Storage Unit Store, maintaining the apartments at the Senior Center, mowing our 10 acres/Pony's yard/three flip yards, picking up remodeling projects from elderlies, and shooting the bull with his cronies every Friday afternoon.

One of Hick's recent recreational pastimes is stopping by a pawnshop run by one of his buddies. I'm sure it started as a guise for buying merchandise to resell in his stores. Now he goes to the fake slot machines there, to spend a little time and money. I don't mind. We each have our weekly cash allowance. What Hick does with his is not my concern.

These fake slot machines LOOK like regular slots, only not as fancy. They play the same way. I can't imagine how they're legal, but Hick says it's because they have a button that tells you whether the next spin will be a winner. And also it shows what the next jackpot will be, but some regular slots show that as well. In Missouri, the only legal slots are in "riverboat" casinos. Though "riverboat" is a broad determination, with most casinos being stationary on land, which might include several pylons in water.

Anyhoo... these fake slots have been around for several years, and are becoming more and more prevalent. There are two in Save A Lot, and in some gas stations. Now this pawnshop. They are called "gambling machines," and are supposedly legal because they are NOT games of chance. Because you can see if the next spin will be a winner.

Hick says he usually spends $20 when he's there. Hick is not a high roller. He only plays quarter denominations in the casino. These fake slots go from a quarter up to several dollars.

Friday, before Hick met up with The Pony to go get a new phone, he had been playing the fake slot.

"I spent $40, and a lady played it after me, and spent $10. We was talking about it as I left, and my buddy who runs the place said, 'Which machine was it? I'm gonna run back there and play it, heh, heh!' I told him he better not be sending me a picture of him with a big jackpot."

Of course you know where this is leading. Hick indeed got a picture of the guy sitting in front of that fake slot. He had won $800. The text came in while he was in the truck with The Pony. I mentioned it when talking to The Pony on his new phone later that evening.

"OH! So THAT'S why Dad said, 'That asshole!' when he checked his phone."

Heh, heh. No sympathy from me or The Pony, former jackpot winners of $8,600 and $16,633 on REAL slot machines!

Hick has won several times on this fake slot. I think maybe his highest jackpot on it was $80.

"I was bettin' a dollar this time. My buddy said he was bettin' two dollars. I thought he was joking about going to play it. He didn't go in while I was still there. He made sure to send me that picture, just because I told him not to!"

Oh, well. It's entertainment. Anything that keeps Hick off the streets and in the pawnshop is acceptable, I guess.