Clearing the Land

Hick always wanted to be a land baron. He grew up not having much. You know, just things like a home that wasn't rented, and an indoor bathroom. He has always worked for what he wanted. At the time I met him, he was excited about an upcoming tax sale. That's when there's an auction on the courthouse steps for property that has delinquent taxes for the past three years.

Hick would look through the local paper for the date of the tax sale, and to look at properties available, and make his picks. Take a day off work to attend. 

Anyhoo... Hick didn't have a lot of money to spend, being between marriages, with other financial responsibilities that came first. This was back in the mid-80s. He bought several properties for under $100 total. 

As you might imagine, they were not prime real estate. One was a narrow strip of land between a garage door business and the road. A couple were lake lots not level enough for building, but good for getting access to a lake development for recreation. A couple were in towns. We sold one of them several years ago, to a guy who had been planting his garden on it, thinking no one would be the wiser. It was a friendly transaction. No strong-arming, no lawsuit threats.

Our real estate tax list is becoming unwieldy. These properties are just an annoyance when writing out the tax payments, now that we have flip properties to deal with as well. I think the highest one is $35 or less. Some are single digit amounts. 

Anyhoo... we are listing these little properties for sale. Not the strip of land. Hick is just letting that sit there because nobody will want to buy that. Realtor told him at the closing for Bargain House that this little strip of land will be an issue if the owner of the business there tries to sell, because he won't have a clear title. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Anyhoo... the best lot is in Backroads. At one time Hick thought he might put a basic house on it. Or some storage units. Then we got into the flipping business. We've listed this lot with Realtor. It does not even have a numbered street address. It's wooded.

I told The Pony we had listed our town lot, and gave him the street name.

"It's on Realtor's website now. Don't know if anybody will want it, but someone might. The description says it's on a blacktop road."

"I know where that is! It's at the end of my route. Somebody just built a house right next to it, that I deliver to. As for being on a blacktop road... well... I guess you could say that. It's where the blacktop road ends!"

"Whatever. If somebody wants land to build a house in town, it's there."

The Pony is such a jokester. He sent me a text on Saturday afternoon:

"Oh look! It's your [Town Street] land!"

"Heh, heh. Yes it is."

The Pony's picture is more descriptive than what Realtor used. That was just a map with plot numbers. Perhaps that's just as well.

Bananadrama

Is this a sign of the apopadopalyspe (as Hick calls it)? What is going on with bananas these days? I have never seen such a sight in all my years of buying and eating bananas.

Several days ago I bought these bananas at 10Box. I buy them there all the time. They have good bananas. The ones from Save A Lot are sometimes WOODY, and a couple times I got fruit flies from there. The bananas at Country Mart are often a bit too ripe by the time I get there on Thursdays. Anyhoo... I've never had a problem with 10Box bananas. Until now.

That's what I'd call a banana split, heh, heh! And not the good kind with chocolate, strawberry, pineapple, whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry.

This banana was fine when I picked it out in the store on Wednesday. It was on a bunch of five. All were fine. Mostly yellow, with a slight green tinge. The kind I always pick out. I bagged them myself, with only another bunch of slightly larger bananas for Hick. They went straight from the store to T-Hoe's rear, then had a 10-minute ride home, where Hick carried them inside and set them in the glass bowl on the kitchen counter.

Thursday I looked at that bunch of five bananas, and peeled off the one that looked most yellow. The other four were fine. Friday, I did the same. All bananas were fine. Saturday, when I picked up that bunch, THIS BANANA had a big split down the side! What in the Not-Heaven??? Hick had been picking from his own bunch of bananas. Can't blame him (for once)! I didn't try to eat this banana. I tossed it off the back porch and had another.

Sunday, I went to get the one remaining banana from this bunch. It had a tiny split, about an inch long. I peeled it and ate it anyway, cutting out a small light-brown sliver that was under the beginning of the split. Hick's bananas all look fine.

I've never seen this. Bruises, yes. Bananas that are hard like a tree limb. Bruises. But not a split. Other than that, these bananas were perfectly normal in appearance and taste. 

The Universe MOCKS me!

Some Good News, and Not

Hick went by the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel flip house on Friday to check on the frozen water line situation. THE WATER FLOWED! He said all the faucets worked again, normal pressure. There was no sign of any water leaking anywhere in the house. No sign of water leaking in the yard. 

Hick says he will continue to go by and look, just in case there's a leak underground. He doesn't think so, because a leak in the city pipe underground would most likely result in less pressure when trying the faucets in the Beauty Shop. I guess Hick's efforts with the propane heater outside where the water line comes into the house had some effect on the thawing, because temps only reached the lower 30s on Friday.

Friday afternoon, Hick had a call from Realtor with an offer on the Double Hovel from the people who viewed it on Thursday. It was for 2/3 the listed price. NOPE! This offer was $10,000 less than the previous two offers we've had.

Realtor said, "I know your answer on this offer already, but I'm obligated to make it." She agreed with Hick that such a lowball offer was an insult. The Pony asked if Hick countered with our bottom-line selling price. No. That would give legitimacy to the offer, and the prospective buyer would try to play the "split the difference/split the difference" game with us, and walk away with a giant bargain.

Realtor did not mention the demographics of the prospective buyer. For example, didn't say if it was a family wanting the extra house for a relative, or a young couple wanting to rent one house to pay the mortgage on the one they'd live in, or an investor. Realtor DID say it was a cash offer, which leads us to think it was an investor wanting to rent both properties.

Let the record show that the pricing on the Double Hovel was suggested by Realtor herself, when Hick had wanted it to be a few thousand more. So it's perfectly reasonable according to neighborhood comps. Our bottom-line price allows some wiggle room for bargaining. We're not reducing the price just because of these lowball offers.

I can't blame investors for trying to get a good deal. That's why they're investors! I'm sure sometimes their tactics work, because some people might be paying a loan on the property, as well as their own mortgage, and run into cash flow problems, and just want to get out from under their obligations. That's how we got Pony House for $23,000. A guy had torn it down to the studs, and then didn't have funds to finish the renovation. He got his money, and we got a bargain.

Anyhoo... good news on the frozen water line, and okay news on the Double Hovel viewing. At least people WANT it. They just don't want to PAY for it, heh, heh!

Rockin' Reuben

Wednesday was Reuben Sandwich day at the Senior Center! Despite his efforts to (unsuccessfully) thaw out the frozen water line at the Beauty Shop half of the Double Hovel, Hick found time to order us Reubens to carry out for supper. He has to call ahead that morning to reserve them. It's one of the most popular meals. Hick rocks! AND, he paid for them out of his own pocket, not our household money! Of course he also went there to eat one for lunch, too. 

The menu described the meal as:

Grilled Reuben

Potato Soup OR Beef Vegetable

Slaw

Crackers

Brownie or Fruit

They were mostly accurate this time. Only the dessert was different.

Hick told me first thing that "The soup was delicious!" Indeed! It was more than just orange liquid this time. Look at those noodles! And there is actually MEAT in there. If anything, it was light on the "vegetable" part. The slaw is the creamy kind. The Reuben was on the good marble rye bread.

Hick was not happy with the desserts. Would you be? He said he should have told his buddy to make sure it was two slices of pie. Hick HATES applesauce. I am neutral on it, but didn't want this version. That looks like it would be four or five individual cups of applesauce. I don't need half a jar! Besides, I always give my dessert to Hick. So this applesauce was wasted. I threw it out. As for the pecan pie... have you ever seen a sadder slice? I'm sure the taste was fine. Hick ate it, anyway.

I had asked Hick if he was bringing the Reubens home at noon. He said no, that he would store them in the refrigerator at the Beauty Shop like usual, then pick them up on his way home. I reminded him that Realtor was showing the property at 3:00. And the Beauty Shop probably shouldn't smell like kraut when they walked in! [No word back so far from Realtor, but at least I know a kraut smell won't be to blame if the viewers were not interested.]

Hick said he'd keep them in the bed of SilverRedO. For once, this made sense to me. They were in the white foam containers, inside white plastic bags, not soaking up the sun, at 35 degrees. 

Yes, a Wednesday night Reuben has so far been the high point of my week. I stayed home Sunday/Monday/Tuesday because of single-digit daytime temperatures. I went to town Wednesday and Thursday, in the 30s.

Here's the state of our gravel road down alongside the creek, on the way to Mailbox Row.

That's from Thursday. At least four inches of solid ice. Very slippery. As long as you creep along, you won't go into a spin. T-Hoe's 4WD is a comfort to me, knowing that I turned it on, even though it is no better than a regular 2WD car on the ice. IF I would slide off the road, at least T-Hoe would get traction on the rough parts where some melting has occurred.

MAYBE a thaw will start today. It's been since January 4, people, when that storm dumped this on us! And maybe Reubens will be on the Senior Center menu again next month.

The Flipping Curse Continues

Well. Apparently The Universe is not satisfied with merely taunting us on the Double Hovel. Now Bargain House has entered the act.

Hick was not able to thaw out the frozen water line at the Beauty Shop on Thursday, his second try. He's sure the frozen area is in the city water line between the street and the front door. He'll just have to wait on the weather. He's hoping the pipe didn't burst. Just froze the water inside, with that frigid dirt packed around the pipe.

Hick turned his efforts to Bargain House. He and Old Buddy tore off the part of the back porch area that was sagging. He burned the trashed materials. No ordinance against that! Also, he took all the junk mail out of the mailbox (thank you to the senders for paying The Pony's salary!) and burned that, too. 

Good thing Hick looked through the mail first! In an orange envelope that looked like junk was the GAS BILL! It should never have been sent to the address of Bargain House. Hick was clear when establishing service that the mailing address for the bill should be OUR HOME ADDRESS.

Hick called the gas company.

"She was the nicest person I ever talked to at a utility company! She said that shouldn't have happened. She wanted to know the account number and other stuff off the bill. She said she would correct the address. I told her the bill was due TODAY! And that I didn't want to start off being late with a bill. I said we could mail it tomorrow, but I didn't know how long it would take to get there. It says it's not delinquent until the 29th. But that doesn't mean the mail will get our payment there on time."

"Did you ask to pay over the phone?"

"No. I didn't think of that."

"I'm sure she would have connected you to the people who do that."

"Well, I didn't think of it. Maybe you can get online and pay it."

"I can probably do a one-time payment like that. It's a major company."

So that's what I did. Paid online with just the account number and zip code. Which could have been a problem, since the zip code at Bargain House is different from our home address. That's how I knew the lady Hick talked to had actually done what she said she was going to do with changing the address on the bill. Otherwise, the website would not have recognized our account.

It's always something. 

Treading (Frozen) Water

No real news to report. Hick and Old Buddy could not unfreeze the frozen water line at the Beauty Shop on Wednesday. Hick's major concern is that the pipe might have broken underground. He said the water tried to run through the pipes after the attempted thawing, but that it could not. He also said that if the city pipe supplying the house broke, it would be OUR responsibility to repair it. He's going to try working on it again Thursday. The fact that temps were in single digits for three days and nights makes me think Hick was overly optimistic in getting things thawed in one day with 30s as the high.

Anyhoo... the good news is that there were no signs of any further leaks in the main house. Hick sent a text to Realtor, informing her that the water in the Beauty Shop was frozen, and that he was working on getting it fixed. Also that he had cleared the sidewalk and steps of ice, so the entrance to both houses was accessible. She sent back a text thanking Hick for his efforts.

Meanwhile, our current insurance company says their accomplice partnering agency that insures houses under renovation will not cover Bargain House because it needs updated electrical service. Um. That is what people do to houses that need renovation! Hick is planning to do that as one of his first projects. This is a bit irritating. We are shopping other insurance companies.

Seems that our flipping status is currently 0 steps forward and 3 steps back. I'm not worried. Hick is on the case!

Hear That? It's the Sound of The Universe Chortling

For those of you following the continuing saga of Hick and Val's Folly, the purchase and flip of the Double Hovel, you know that it's always something. We made a good deal buying those two structures with our investment partner The Pony. 

Then Hick had his back surgery, which slowed down the renovations. We signed papers to list it with the Realtor on Labor Day last year. Then discovered that the people who wanted to buy the property couldn't get loans because there were TWO houses, and government programs with low/no down payments can't be used because of money-making possibilities with the second house. Leaving such a purchase basically to a developer or somebody willing to make a cash deal or put up their other properties as collateral.

Then we requested a variance from the city planning and zoning commission, to survey out the property into two lots, to be sold separately. Which was denied last week.

Oh, yeah. And with the ice/snow storm a couple weeks ago, a rainstorm Thursday night, and our arctic temperatures this week, Hick found a possible roof leak in the main house, and a frozen water line in the Beauty Shop.

Of course you know that chain of events cued The Universe to twist the ends of its Snidely Whiplash mustache, and chortle with dastardly glee.

This afternoon (Tuesday), Hick got a text from Realtor. She has an appointment to show the Double Hovel between 3:00 and 4:00 on Wednesday.

Hick was already planning to go to the Beauty Shop Wednesday morning with Old Buddy, to see what they can do about the frozen water line. The temperature is going to be in single digits Tuesday night. Getting up to high 30s by Wednesday afternoon.

"Are you going to tell Realtor about the frozen water line?"

"NO!"

"Well... if you don't get it fixed, you probably should."

"We should be able to get it cleared. And I'm going to the other house to make sure there ain't no water on the floor, either!"

This could be interesting.