When It Belows, It Freezes

Bad luck hounds the Double Hovel. You'd think it was overflow bad luck from The Pony not having enough avenues to suffer these days!

The main house is still doing fine, after Hick had discovered the heat off and some water on the kitchen floor last week. While he was checking it on Monday morning, he also went over to check the Beauty Shop. THE WATER FROZE!

It's not totally unexpected that the water might freeze, since the temperature was -2 degrees when Hick got there. We don't usually get that cold around here. Maybe once every year or two. I hope this is it for this year! I think this was the third night in a row.

Anyhoo... with nobody living there, the water isn't running through the pipes from showers and dishwashing and toilets flushing. I asked Hick why he didn't leave the faucets dripping overnight. He said you'd have to do that with every faucet, not just one. Well. That would only be kitchen sink, bathtub, and bathroom sink. It's not like there are three bathrooms like we have in our mansion. But there IS a laundry room. 

Anyhoo... Hick was surprised. He said he had so much insulation around the pipes that he thought they'd never freeze. He's not too worried, because he used Pex pipe, which is plastic and expands. He thinks the issue might be where the main water line comes into the house. It's copper. Hick had built a box to enclose that pipe where it comes in on the front of the house, and insulated the pipe above the ground. He thought that would work, but he doesn't know how deep that pipe is in the ground. If somebody was living there, using water regularly, it would probably have been fine. Hick and Old Buddy had talked about it on the phone, and Old Buddy said he's ready to work whenever Hick is.

Anyhoo... Bargain House was just fine, no issues. So there's that. Meanwhile, Hick will have to wait for the thaw, which is supposed to happen Wednesday with mid-30s for the high temperature. It might take a couple days, but Hick will get to the bottom of that pipe problem, and fix it.

Here We Go Again, Trapped by Weather

Val is not getting out in teen temperatures with a windchill in single digits. Nope. Not even scratchers are worth that level of discomfort. A younger Val, who walked faster, might layer up and venture out. Not this old Val. I made that decision when I saw the forecast. Saturday was my last outing, and it was 28 degrees with a chilly wind. 

Most of our ice/snow has melted. Most. Not the thick layer on the upper gravel road and the lower gravel road. The hills have been plowed by some kind denizen of our enclave with a tractor. I slid a lot in T-Hoe on the lower road by the creek and Mailbox Row. Not a big deal. No traffic, and trees to stop me if I went off the level road. It's being cold that I am avoiding.

Our porch is clear, mostly, because it's under roof. The steps to the garage are clear, and the concrete sidewalk to it, because Hick sweeps and sprinkles salt. The brick sidewalk that branches off, and goes to the carport where Hick parks SilverRedO, is NOT clear! It's a 4-inch slab of ice!

I worry about Hick walking across it in the morning and evening. I suggested that he go in the garage, get the garage door opener out of A-Cad, and exit and enter through the garage. There's only a small section of solid ice behind where he parks SilverRedO. The A-Cad side of the garage concrete is mostly clear. Hick declined that suggestion. 

When I got home Saturday, I was still worried about Hick. I spied a rake leaning against the wall of the garage in front of T-Hoe. Not a fan-shaped flimsy rake, but the long kind, like people step on and the handle whacks them in the face. I took that rake out the people-door, to see if I could clear away some of that ice slab so Hick didn't have to risk a fall when he got home.

I first tried raking the ice. Nothing. No furrows, no marks. It was quite solid. Then I tried to chop it with the rake. Nothing. Not even any holes to roughen up the surface. I wielded that rake like a hoe. The ice wasn't having it.

Hick made it into the house just fine. I kept cautioning him for the next morning.

"I'm afraid you might fall and crack your head open, and I won't know, and you'll freeze to death lying there all day."

"I'll be fine. I'll walk in the rocks by the house. Or by the garage."

Let the record show that there is just a sliver of the lava rocks that line the brick sidewalk. Hick might get one foot on those rocks, but the other would have to be on the ice. Hick is not a vehicle! It's not like he can have two wheels on the ice, and two wheels with traction, rolling along at the same time. Hick will have to put his weight on an ice foot to move the rock foot forward.

There's no telling Hick anything. I still worry about him. He has strict orders to text me when he gets to town. He does. Sort of. Sunday he left at 6:00, and sent me a text at 9:00 that he was at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5), but had customers and forgot. I'm pretty sure he could have been unconscious on the sidewalk after those three hours. I'm also sure I don't want to walk outside in the wind during the single-digit morning hours to check on him.

Two More Links in The Pony's Chain of Misfortunate Occurrences

I was happy to see a text from The Pony on Friday afternoon, revealing that he had been released a half hour early from work to get his glasses fixed. As you might recall from the earlier picture, those frames were obviously not fixable. But the lenses were okay, and could be put into new frames without needing an appointment for an eye exam to get new glasses. I was driving at the time, and could not devote my attention to a photo of the frames The Pony planned to get.

Oh, and on our morning phone call, I discovered how those glasses broke. The Pony was tired after working late through this ice and snow. He laid the glasses on the back of the couch while relaxing to watch TV. Fell asleep. The glasses slipped off the couch. The Pony found them WITH A FOOT as he was on the way to the bathroom after waking up in the wee morning hours.

Anyhoo... once I was home, I got another text.

 

"Stopped at the buffet. It was awful! Going back to see if my glasses are put together now."

And another:

"Ugh. Different pair I'll end up with. The optometrist had concerns about the bridge distance so suggested a different pair."

Okay. That was disappointing. But still, The Pony now has working glasses with his current lenses. Better than a pair several years older. And he did get to eat at the Chinese buffet. It might not have been delicious but how bad can Chinese food really be? I'd eat bad Chinese buffet food over something out of my FRIG II any day!

It LOOKED good enough to eat! I see crab rangoon, sweet and sour chicken, and peanut butter chicken. Foods I have eaten at that buffet in the past, and enjoyed. I asked The Pony how it was awful.

"First of all, a lot of the containers were empty. The sweet and sour was okay... but the peanut butter chicken was all dried out, like it had been sitting there for a long time. The crab rangoon, too. They just tasted old."

"Well, you were there between times. At 3:50, they wouldn't have put out the food yet for the supper crowd."

In the next picture, I could see what The Pony meant. That peanut butter chicken DOES look all dried out. The Pony THINKS the other food by it was General Tso's chicken. It also looks like it has endured several hours of waiting for The Pony's teeth.

Anyhoo... I'm guessing that The Pony did not enjoy a full feast. Later that night, he ordered Domino's pizza. They're having a half price sale, you know, if you order online by the 19th.

When It Snows, It Drips

Hick stopped by the Double Hovel on Wednesday, just to check on things since the big ice/sleet/snow storm. Or more likely because he need to use the bathroom while out and about. He made an unwelcome discovery. Notified me by text:

"Came by the house and the heat was off and some water on the kitchen floor."

"Dang it! How did the heat go off?"

"I don't know. I'm resetting it now to see if it comes back on. If not I'm calling the heating and cooling guy. Always something, it seems."

"Yes."

Fifteen minutes later:

"Heat is back on."

"What caused the water on the floor?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe somebody showed the house, and they messed with the heat, and tracked in snow?"

"Nah. It looks like maybe it came from the roof. There's not a stain, but it looks like maybe it could have been from a leak. Right in the middle of the kitchen floor. Ice could have got up under there and then melted. We'll have to see if there's a leak after the next rain or snow. Then I'll check on where it came from, and fix it."

"Why would the heat be off?"

"If the electricity went off. It's supposed to reset itself, but if the power flickered, like went off and came right back on, it wouldn't have time to reset."

Hick also checked the Beauty Shop, which has a different kind of heating system. It was on, and no sign of any leaks there.

The Pony Needs a Case of Rabbit Feet

It goes without saying (but of course Val will say it) that The Pony's major jackpot of $16,633.47 at the casino on Christmas Eve would need some evening by Even Steven. Silly Val. She thought The Pony had already endured the negatives, what with those toothsome dogs on his mail route, and an unexplained rash from working in the rain, and braving the icy weather of late. But no.

The Pony fell a couple of times on the ice, and sustained a really bad bruise on his GOOD butt cheek. The one that was not punctured with dog teeth. Here's an extreme close-up picture of the bruising. It covers about 1/4 of the total area of that body part:

"The bruise on my butt is ginormous. One of the other carries went 'How are you even walking!' when she saw it." [I don't know how the other carrier saw The Pony's butt bruise.]

Tuesday, The Pony had a really bad day.

"Today's going about as badly as it can. I don't expect to be off before 7:30 at best. The icing on top of all this is that I've got a flat tire I have to deal with when I'm off to even drive home and get actually fixed tomorrow."

I told Hick, who was in a meeting with his tax man for his business taxes. But he found The Pony on his route to get the car key, and aired up the flat, and drove the car to Casey's to air up ALL the tires. It held. So no repair necessary. Hick reported that he can't believe The Pony had to deliver on that route, as all the streets were covered completely with several inches of solid ice.

On Thursday morning, The Pony reported that he had broken his glasses:

Again, I don't know how. I didn't want to dwell on the misfortune by asking.

Shortly before 8:00 a.m., The Pony discovered that there had been a water main break. On the street beside his house. Again.

"Ah. Water main break. I thought I just had a central pipe freeze. Wooo! Had literally zero water pressure this morning. Manager said Sis-Town has a water main break."

By the time he was off work at 6:00, The Pony said:

"They fixed the main break. Supposedly they were just refilling the towers since it drained two of them but I never got an alert that they had finished that. Just a boil water order now last I heard which honestly I don't care about. Home now. Barely. An old lady almost turned right into me while I was crossing by the Senior Center. And I had to swerve completely into the other lane next to the old florist. She didn't even start moving until I was halfway across the intersection."

"Your Even Stevening from your jackpot should be done by now!"

"You'd think. But this week just keeps getting worse."

Poor Pony. At least it's Thursday... His butt is not punctured. The car tire is okay. He has an old pair of glasses for seeing. No pipes were frozen in his house. There's water for showering. And the old lady missed colliding with his Rogue.

The Disappointment Is Palpable

Prognosis: negative! Variance denied!

Hick called me right after the public hearing with the Planning and Zoning Commission concerning a variance to divide our Double Hovel flip property into two lots.

"Well, that was a waste of time. I think they had their mind made up before the hearing. I was sittin' there waiting for it to start, and overheard two of them talking about it, saying there were more negatives than positives. Nobody showed up to complain. They shuffled through their papers and asked if I had anything else to add. They said something about a letter, but it wasn't my letter. I told them I was told NOT to give them my letter. And they said yes, that unless they asked for it, I shouldn't. I don't think their letter was a complaint from anybody. It looked like it was on paper with a city letterhead. I asked to see it, and they said I couldn't."

"But Denizen saw it! And she's not on the committee, and not the one asking for a variance!"

"I know. I didn't mention that part. Anyway, they basically said that if they granted this variance for me, they'd have to do it for everybody."

"I can understand that. They'd have to re-write their ordinance with a lawyer, to modify the size of the lots to what ours is."

"One lady said, 'I live in a subdivision, and I wouldn't want a lot under 10,000 square feet. I don't want anybody building a house right on top of me!' I told her the houses are ALREADY THERE! That if somebody doesn't want a house close to them, they won't buy it anyway."

"Yeah. That's how I see it. It's not like somebody would buy one of our houses, then wake up to find a house has been built right on top of them."

"The commissioner said he doesn't understand how people can't get a loan on it. Maybe I should have took Realtor with me to explain those loans without a down payment. He asked if anybody had made an offer. I told him 10-12 people had asked Realtor about buying just the little house. He said he could understand that, with a house being cheaper than renting a 1-bedroom apartment there."

"Yes. The issue is a down payment."

"The commissioner said he thinks it will sell. And another guy on the commission said, 'There's a property for you!' Like he had been looking at investment properties. So then the commissioner asked me the price, and I told him. And he said, 'How long before the realtor contract is up?' Like he might want to buy it without paying the commission."

"That's not right. I wouldn't do that to her. It's like cheating."

"A lot of people try to do that. Say they'll give you a certain price to buy it, if you tell the realtor you talked to them before you listed it."

"Well, at least we know now."

Hick sent The Pony a text of the result. The Pony replied, "Ugh." Hick also sent Realtor a text. Her reply was, "Bummer."

Let the record show that we are disappointed, but nobody needs to talk us off the ledge. We knew when we bought the property that the city ordinances decreed that the property could not be divided. We bought it with this knowledge. The city owes us no favors. It's not a case of sour grapes. Just disappointment.

Oh, and The Buddy did not show up at the meeting. Hick thinks maybe he didn't want Hick to know how he was voting. Hick said two of the five members present were discussing it, and another made a motion to deny the variance, and then another seconded the motion. The actual vote was unanimous.

A city's gonna do what a city's gonna do. They got our $125 to hold a hearing to consider the variance proposal. Not sure what the money went to, as I don't think they get paid for holding a meeting. Hick said they would have to pay the two office workers who were recording the proceedings.

Anyhoo... we will think about renting the property if it doesn't sell in a couple months when the market comes out of its winter doldrums. One month's rent will more than pay for the insurance and utility fees we've accrued since listing it in September.

Division Day Looms

The day of the public hearing about dividing our Double Hovel property is Wednesday. That's tomorrow, as I type this. Hick has been fidgety about making sure of the date. Even though the date was on a sticky note that the city secretary gave him, and on the letter that was approved for him to hand out. Somehow he got it in his head that MONDAY was the day. But no. Double- and triple-checking revealed that it was not.

Hick has a buddy on the commission that will make the final decision. The Buddy is not giving any clues, as it should be. He does answer basic questions. Says these hearings usually last about 15 minutes. That Hick needs to be there, in case citizens show up and have questions. Or in case the commission has questions. The fee has been paid that was required to request the variance. Paperwork was turned in. I can't think of anything else that would throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, short of Hick putting his foot in his mouth. He's pretty good about NOT doing that with city officials.

Anyhoo... Hick was startled on Monday when Denizen, his one-time good friend at the Senior Center, who turned into his enemy for unknown reasons, started talking about this hearing. She has been talking to Hick a little over the past month. He doesn't know why. Thinks maybe she's mad at somebody else. Anyhoo... Denizen told Hick:

"I read your paperwork for your variance. It was FIVE PAGES LONG!"

"I only gave them one letter. It was one page."

"There was a letter in it, too."

Hick didn't pursue the subject. But he was a bit displeased when he got home.

"How did she even know anything about it? She doesn't live around that property. She didn't get a letter handed to her about the hearing. She's not on the commission. So she had NO BUSINESS getting ahold of your papers."

"Yeah. I know. But I didn't say that."

"Well. I'm sure we both know how she got it. She's married to The Buddy! I guess she just read it thinking she was entitled. I can't imagine him discussing it with her, since he's not sharing anything with you about it, and he's always been nice to you."

"Yeah. He's not giving anything away."

"I'm really glad she's been talking to you again. Because if she was still being mean, it wouldn't surprise me if she told somebody to go there and complain, just so you couldn't get your variance!"

"Nothing would surprise me."

"If you get denied, I'd have a fit, and make a complaint that some random citizen read you variance request that should have been just for the city commission."

"I don't see why they have any reason to deny the variance. I guess we'll find out."

"And FIVE PAGES? That's the pages of the code telling you how to go about requesting a variance, I'm pretty sure. That packet that you brought home, that I went through and made sure your letter had answered all the requirements."

"I'm sure that was it, too."

The meeting is late in the afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes.