Just Checking

Hick is not allowed access to our checkbook. Before you judge me as controlling, conniving, embezzling, or petty, let's remember that Hick's filing cabinet is the cab of SilverRedO. He is not the most meticulous record-keeper. My method might involve cast-off Save A Lot boxes on the kitchen table, but I know where the documents are "filed." I keep a tight rein on the checks and the checkbook register. They are my chronological "vault" of expenses outlaid on the flip houses.

Hick has been waiting to pay his roofing guy until all finishing touches were completed on the Cheap House roof. Last Sunday, he said he wanted a check, because Roofing Guy was finishing up the next day. I gave Hick a single check. He tucked it in his billfold. That is a problem.

Hick's billfold is like George Costanza's wallet. It is overstuffed, waiting to explode. [George's Exploding Wallet , YouTube 25 seconds] I also think it makes Hick sit sideways, though I do not believe he carries hard candy in it. Hick keeps his billfold closed with a bright red rubber bracelet thingy like was so popular for promoting causes back in the early 2000s. A check is not safe there for long. It comes out with tri-fold bends, and frayed along the top edge.

Every day I asked Hick if he'd given Roofing Guy the check. "No. He was busy with his courier business. Guys didn't show up to work. He'll do it tomorrow." That went on all week. As you might assume, the bills kept coming. I had to write other checks. This one was getting out of order.

Saturday night, I asked Hick for that check.

"Can you give it back to me? I'm going to write out two more bills, and this one is already two behind.  This will make it four. I'll give you another one."

"No! Roofing Guy is coming by my shop tomorrow. He said so. I'll give it to him then."

I hope that check is not too frayed to run through the processing machinery at the bank!