Not the land/house we've just bought/sold. Our personal land. Which we've had for over 20 years. Most often, it's an offer to purchase the 10 acres next to the BARn field. The letter we got yesterday was supposedly out of North Carolina. That's what the letterhead said, but there was no postmark on the envelope. Which looked like standard junk mail, with a paid permit out of Florida. Of course that's logical, right? A small business owner from North Carolina having a mailing permit out Florida.
Here's the pitch:
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Dear Hick and Val,
Good land is vanishing fast. Help us keep it in the hands of families, farmers, and people who care for it most.
My name is Phony Baloney, I am an avid fisherman, hunter, outdoorsman and owner of a small, family-run land investing business that buys land directly from landowners like yourself. No realtors, no closing costs, and no months of back-and-forth waiting. We handle everything ourselves and keep the process as simple and straightforward as we can.
I understand how important it is to protect the land that we call home. When we purchase land, we turn around and sell it to folks who will truly put it to good use -- farmers looking to expand their operation, families wanting to build a home and live a more self-sufficient life, homesteaders, hunters, outdoorsmen, and people who just want a quiet piece of ground to call their own. We take pride in knowing that the land we buy ends up in the hands of people who will love and care for it.
I came across your land in Backroads County and am interested in purchasing it for $39,763.86.
We pay cash and can close in as little as 10-15 business days -- which means money in your pocket quicky, without the headaches.
If you have any questions at all -- even just to talk through how the process works -- please don't hesitate to give me a call at xxx xxx xxxx. I'm happy to chat.
If you are excited and ready to move forward, I have included a purchase agreement on the next page with our offer for your land. To proceed this way, please sign the agreement, take a photo and send it back to us by email at xxx@xxxxxxx.com or directly by mail to Address, City, NC 27330.
If you happen to have any other land you've been thinking about selling, I'd love to hear about that as well.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope we can speak soon.
Take care and God bless.
Sincerely,
Phony Baloney
Outdoorsman | Small Business Owner
[there was a small black and white photo of a man and a girl child sitting on an oversize adirondack chair in a field next to a pond]
The enclosed sales contract had the parcel number. The purchase price offered. And terms:
This offer is contingent upon the following terms:
1. Buyer's confirmation and acceptance of legal and physical aspects of the property.
2. This offer shall remain open until 7/17/26 and if not accepted by then, the offer shall be rescinded, unless otherwise discussed.
3. Buyer can take title in any entity of their choosing.
4. Buyer will pay for all closing costs.
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Gosh! What a perfect buyer. So concerned about protecting our land and only selling it to the right people, who will love it and care for it. With no realtors and no closing costs. Yet the "contract" says he will pay all closing costs! And he would love to just chat with us. Probably about hunting and fishing and outdoorsing. I'm sure he spent many hours dwelling on just the right price for our beloved land. No round numbers for this guy!
As with all such offers, this one is going straight into the circular file.
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