Hick is Left Holding the Bag

As with many Hicktales, this one borders on asking you to suspend belief in the natural laws of The Universe. What are the odds that one man can have so many coincidences align to put him in such a position?

I guess I shouldn't try to make sense of it. Just relay the telling of Hick's tale.

"One of my customers called me this afternoon. He's older than I am. He started out asking me how much I trusted the police. I said pretty much. That I have several troopers and policemen who buy from me. He said he knew that, and that's why he was asking.

Old Customer was driving, from down below Bill-Paying Town. I was at my store. He said he saw a black bag laying in the middle of the road. He stopped and picked it up. It had a bag of weed in it. He wanted to turn it in, and was wondering if I would do that for him. I said I guessed I could. He brought it by. It was a good-size bag of weed. Wrapped in plastic.

I called my buddy who's with the highway patrol, and told him about it, and he said he'd come by tomorrow and get it."

"So you have it in your storage locker?"

"Yeah."

"That can't be good for your FFL!"

"I know, but I'm turning it in. It's legal now. Just not for me to have with my license."

"It's legal if you have a license to sell it. But if somebody buys it and then sells it again without having a license to distribute it, I think it's not legal."

"Well, I know the person who lost the bag didn't have it legally, because also in the bag was papers WITH HIS NAME that he had a warrant for his arrest!"

"This seems odd. Why would he be carrying that in his bag with his weed? Even if he bought it legally. Because with a warrant, he's probably on probation or parole, and not supposed to have it."

"I don't know. But I guess that's the first person the law will start looking for."

"Won't they want to talk to your buddy? To ask him about exactly where he found it?"

"It was on the road! Between Other Town and Bill-Paying Town."

"Oh, that narrows it down to a 20-mile stretch. Why would it be in the road, unless he was trying to get rid of it out a car window while being chased?"

"I don't know. I'm just turning it in. They can do what they want with it."

I am interested in hearing the rest of the story, if Hick's trooper friend shares any details. We've finally found an item Hick won't sell, even if he got it for FREE.