Hick Is Not Afraid to be the Rumpushole

I was apprehensive Friday afternoon when Hick brought in the mail. There was an envelope from the city. It was Sis-Town. Where The Pony's house is located, and another lot we own. Both having generated notices to Hick previously that he was not taking care of the upkeep. Even though homes around them were falling down, and weeds higher than those Hick had just mowed the day before the letter. You may recall that one notice was because somebody kept throwing plastic tea bottles on the lot, with Hick having no idea they were there, not regularly driving by that location.

Anyhoo... I told Hick, "I wonder what you've done wrong NOW?" 

The letter had our names on the envelope, but inside, it started with To Whom It May Concern. The subject was:

_______________________________________________________________

Notice of Hearing for Planning and Zoning Case BLAH BLAH BLAH

According to the land records obtained from the county assessor's office, you are a property owner adjacent to the property listed below. Therefore, you are being notified of a hearing to be held before the Sis-Town Planning and Zoning Committee to consider the following:

Case BLAH BLAH BLAH, a request to vacate a portion of an alley adjacent to lots C,D,E,F & G, and a portion of an alley between lot Z and the railroad property.

This meeting will be held at [City Headquarters] on January 8 at #:00 p.m. in the council chambers.

_______________________________________________________________

I asked Hick if he knew where this address was. 

"Yeah. It's there by the tracks. Where that guy has his driveway on MY PROPERTY!"

Oh, sweet, sweet serendipity! 

This is NOT the same city where we had requested a variance in order to split the Double Hovel flip house(s) for ease of re-sale. Where we were denied our variance, even though none of the property owners within a two-block radius showed up after Hick hand-delivered notices of the hearing and proposal to them. But it's the same kind of process. And HICK WANTS HIS VOICE TO BE HEARD!

"I've got a good mind to go there and tell them, "I don't really care if he uses this alley for his back driveway. He's been doing it for a while now. And he has his front driveway ON MY PROPERTY! The property I've paid taxes on for over 35 years, and he just uses it like he owns it, and has refused my offer to sell it to him. I'm still paying the taxes. It seems like he's allowed to do whatever he wants in this city, and nothing I say will have any effect on this variance. I'd just like to know why he can get away with this."

"Heh, heh! You've got enough enemies in city government there already! This isn't going to help their opinion of you! But I understand."

I don't imagine that Hick will get so carried away that he will be carried away and locked up. He'll speak his mind. Gladly assume the mantle of Rumpushole. And no doubt get under that owner's skin in the process.

After all, that's Hick's goal... it doesn't pay to be a rumpushole to Hick.