Dumb Man Walking

To understand a Hick conversation, you have to be a little bit psychic. Sometimes, my "shine" is not at the level of Danny Torrance (any Stephen King readers get my drift?).

Tuesday evening, Hick started rattling on about something while I was making his supper of shell noodles with red sauce. I could hear him, but didn't have a clue what was going on.

"You'll never believe what Nick did today. He was out walking on U Highway, and headed for P highway. He had dropped his car off and they wouldn't give him a ride. So he was WALKING!"

Let the record show that Hick has several buddies named Nick. And that the most recent mention of a Nick was last week, when a Nick died. I was pretty sure that wasn't the Nick in Hick's tale, but there's also a Nick that is a regular at Hick's SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5), and a Nick that lives out here on our gravel road.

"I have no idea who you're talking about."

"Nick! He was going to walk home! All the way to Nowhere! I would have just not left my car! They could do it another time, when I knew I had a ride. But that dummy left his car there anyway, and was going to walk home! He said it's 26 miles."

"Wait! I STILL don't know who you're talking about!"

"Nick! From Nick and Bev. Our old neighbors that I was going out to Nowhere today to work on the front door I put on for them. Bev said it didn't work."

"Oh. That totally does not surprise me in the least, now that I know which Nick you're talking about. They're crazy! But how did you know about it? I guess he didn't call Bev to come get him, because he knew she wouldn't leave the house..."

"She wouldn't of left the house. But he tried to call her and couldn't get her. Reception is terrible out there. I've told you that all along. You can't call me or text me there. But Nick was lucky. He called me, and I was still in range. Another mile, and I wouldn't have been. He said he was walking along U highway, and if we saw him to pick him up. So I turned around and drove to find him, and gave him a ride. He'd already gone 6 miles! It took me about 10 minutes to get to him, and then 10 minutes backtracking to where I'd been."

"Well, that's good you could give him a ride."

"I cain't believe he thought he was going to walk that whole way. Bev even asked him why he was getting his car serviced there, instead of up by where he works."

"And she's crazier than he is! But had more sense. What if he'd tried to walk from where he works? That's at least another 30 miles!"

"I don't know. Nothin' they do makes sense. I thought she was probably just not understanding how the door works, but it actually had a broken part. So now I have to get that fixed."

I suppose Hick the savior was in the right place at the right time for Nick. Those 2-lane blacktop highways are no place for a walkin' man.