Conclusion: That's Bank-Way Robbery!

I left the bank, madder than a wet hen, madder than a hornet whose home was just run over by Hick on his $1700 lawnmower, madder than a teacher waking up to see that the forecast four inches of snow has not materialized. I called Hick to vent, and he SAID the phone dropped the call, in explanation of our disconnection. Thrice. When I was finally able to discuss it with him, Hick acted like it was no big deal. So I said, 

"Then you won't mind that it's YOUR weekly allowance that comes up $20 short this week. Surely you don't think I'M doing without, when I'm the one dealing with the issue. And I'm not taking away The Pony's weekly money, or shorting Christmas, the taxes, the insurance, or the Pony's extra college money cushion."

THEN Hick seemed to grasp the gravity of the situation. He declared that it's not something to ignore, because we are rightfully owed that $20, or credit for it in the account!

I hate dealing with stuff like this. Why can't people and machines just do their jobs? It's not even like I was out $300. It was only $20. But that's 11.8 Diet Cokes, by cracky! Or four scratchers! I almost (almost) wished I had been shorted more, so I would mind jumping through their hoops less.

I know the bank can't just hand out $20 to every Val, Hick, and Pony who say they were shorted. After all, I'm still Public Enemy Number One to them, after daring to deposit a check from my in-town credit union that they thought was fake, and asking to withdraw money from my own account, and trying to deposit money into Genius's account without my name being on it.

I had every intention of going back out to the branch bank on Saturday morning. Hick had that intention for me, too. I had the teller's card, with her name. She knew the situation. But she HAD already told me I'd have to file that grievance thingy, after the transaction posted to my account. I called the automated number several times Friday night, but the transaction was still pending.

Saturday morning, it had posted to my account. I punched in the number to talk to a representative. I got a machine that said to state my purpose. All it recognized was ATM. But it gave me a real live rep. Without any muzak wait, too! And even better, SHE HAD NO ACCENT! I understood every word she said!

She asked for my name, even though she could clearly see that I was calling from my home phone, and had it there in front of her. I guess that's standard policy. Their calls are possibly monitored, you know! I told her my predicament, with pertinent details such as location and time, and what I'd already done to try and resolve the issue.

I heard her typing about 100 words per minute. My own personal record (when measured) was 42 wpm on a manual typewriter when I was 16. Not that I'm bragging. I think I'm a little faster now. My students used to turn and gape at me in amazement and say, "How do you type so fast?" I'm pretty sure it was less actual amazement, and more flattery and work-avoidance.

Anyhoo... the rep told me that my grievance had been filed. My account should reconcile within 10 business days. I will get something in the mail. I might have to write out my response, so they can hear it from my own fingers. Within 45 days, I should get a report of the investigation.

"So... what if it doesn't come out that I was shorted $20? Will they take it back off my account?"

Silence.

"I mean, I KNOW I didn't get that $20. I was just asking..."

"It will be in the findings of the report."

Now I'm just waiting on the mail, and for time to pass. I'll check the automated system every couple of days to see if they put the $20 back in my account. I'm pretty optimistic that they will. Only one thing possibly concerns me. Is it a bad omen that my rep's name was Katrina?