As you might infer, my sister the ex-mayor's wife does not suffer fools gladly. She would much rather make the fools suffer for daring to be fools.
Hick has been known to be a fool. Consequently, Hick must suffer.
Perhaps I've let it slip, though trying valiantly to conceal Hick's little peccadillo...that he is sometimes not telling the whole truth when he passes on his wisdom. If he thinks you can't prove him wrong, he sometimes goes too far.
We were all eating our free breakfast at The Sis-Approved Hotel on the second morning of Casinopalooza, going over our casino route, when the battle royale began.
"Hey, Sis...have you seen them signs on the highway? About the prison?"
"No. What signs? What prison?"
"Oh. I guess it's past where you go for the casinos. It's somewhere around Miami. I guess on the other side, where you don't go that far. There's a prison there. They even have a sign about picking up hitchhikers: People Walking Along the Road Might Have Escaped From Prison So Don't Pick Them Up."
"No way that was on a sign!"
"I kid you not. That's what it says."
"How could people read it before they were past it?" Sis gave Hick her best teacher stare. Chuck Norris himself would have withered in her gaze.
"Well...yeah...but that's what it meant!"
Let the record show that after Casinopalooza gasped its last breath on Sunday morning, Hick and I hit the road for Norman to visit The Pony. Along the way we saw that sign:
HITCHHIKERS MAY BE PRISON ESCAPEES
I sent Sis a text with the actual wordage.
"I can see that fitting on a sign easier than the quote Hick said was on there."
"Maybe you've noticed...you can't believe everything he says."
Val--I cannot believe that! Every word that comes out of Hick's mouth is not a perfectly-formed pearl?
ReplyDeleteSuch balderdash! So much poppycock! You're spreading bald-faced lies.
Stop it at once.
Pardon me, Madam. Ever since Hick called home to tell me he was staying two houses down from Betty, the famous author who had just died, when he actually was referring to Katharine Hepburn, who had passed away two years previously...I do not believe anything Hick tells me until I check facts.
DeleteEssentially he accurately described the signs warning. THough the sign does not explicitly say Don't pick them up" it is kinda implied.
ReplyDeleteI see. Kind of a like a towel hiding brownies on the kitchen counter kinda implies that you should pick up the brownies and eat them...
DeleteKinda
DeleteI think Hick was close enough.
ReplyDeleteAnd Hick thinks a serving spoon is close enough to the "teaspoon" dosing instructions on cough medicine.
DeleteAre you implying that Hick is less than perfect?
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely pickin' up what I'm layin' down!
DeleteSounds like an interpretation from the mouth of HeWho. I used to go into detective mode to prove him wrong. Now I just nod and go about my business.
ReplyDelete