Hick has a penchant for foisting his version of "manspread" on the homestead kitchen wastebasket. For some reason, he sees fit to take up as much room as possible in the trash bag.
Even before I inherited the trash duty from The Pony who got it when Genius left for college, I tried to condense our refuse as much as possible. I'd like to say it's because I'm a friend of the environment, but the main reason is that I grew tired of playing Wastebasket Jenga. Hinting and cajoling and pointedly demanding that the trash be taken out to the dumpster fell on selectively deaf ears. I had to balance items precariously on top of other items until the underside of the counter where the wastebasket resides was reached.
Now I take the trash bag out when it's full. Which doesn't mean that it should be full in less than 24 hours. Here's evidence of how Hick disposes of his used items. They're already above the rim. This happened to be after ONE meal, when I had brought him leftovers uneaten by me or my favorite gambling aunt from the all-you-can-eat platter at The FelineFish Skillet. Yes, we use a lot of paper plates and foam bowls. Sorry, Environment. It's not you, it's us.
I'm not proud to say I dig through the trash. But I do. I have to rearrange. To put plates with plates along the edge, and nest bowls in bowls, and pack that wastebasket like I'm preparing a space capsule for a moon mission. Items must be compact. Take up as little room as possible. After my renovations, the bag looked like this.
Ten towering trash bags? That's a lowball estimate. More like ten thousand. At least Hick has been putting items IN the trash bag. Rather than leaving a banana peel stuffed in the cushions of the La-Z-Boy.
I crush before I throw in the trash, but then I am the one on trash duty.
ReplyDeleteWhen the trash is due to go out, Mrs. C has a little trick to let me know, she yells at me from downstairs, "Hey jerk head, take out the friggin garbage it stinks." Then after two or three such reminders, I take it out.
Joeh--And they say you can't treat an old dog new tricks...
DeleteYes, we have "fun" with trash at our house as well. Who can ignore the full can the longest? Who can sneak in recyclable stuff into the trash (him) and who fishes it out and puts it in the recycling (me)?
DeleteIt makes every day a blast.
Wow! Joe is CRUSHING IT! He's almost adequate at taking out the trash in a timely manner. Congrats to Mrs. C on her training program.
DeleteGood to know that Sioux is a fellow trash-picker! We don't have recycling here. Unless we want to sort it all and take it to the landfill--but I think the fuel consumption and gaseous emissions for the 20-mile trip would cancel out that good deed for my friend, The Environment.
Poor Hick, being blamed for something the Pony's pet monkey left behind.
ReplyDeleteAt least Hick's not being blamed for the poop on the trunk of his Olds Toronado that Puppy Jack was accused of leaving (out of his) behind.
DeleteAt least that banana peel didn't end up somewhere you might slip on it.
ReplyDeleteIf Val slips on a banana peel in the living room, and no one is around to see it...is it still funny?
DeleteNo! At our age falling is never funny.
DeleteI'm no Martha Stewart but I am hot on recycling so we really don't have much rubbish (just as well as we are on fortnightly collections and soon to be once every 3 weeks!). We are lucky though that we have SD's dads chickens so most of the kitchen waste goes to the farm to feed them.
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky to have a back porch, so the food waste is flung to the edge of the woods for wildlife. We might reconsider that practice if Bigfoot comes a-knockin'.
DeleteOh we play the Jenga trash game, too. Pile it precariously high until he gives in and goes out to the trash bin.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could start a game show: Wastebasket Jenga. You could get Gloria Gaynor as a special celebrity guest!
DeleteI hate to waste anything, even trash bag space! That Mountain Dew can was really bothering me! I wanted to snatch it out of the trash for recycle. I compost all my vegetable scraps and coffee grounds, as well as paper towels, cardboard, newspapers, etc. Because of my nagging, HeWho is afraid to throw anything in the trash can. I seem to have created a big problem for myself!
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing--we DO save cans. Hick takes them to the scrap dealer, or gives them to Genius when he gets a lot. There's a Walmart bag hanging on two hooks on the metal frame of the cutting block, FULL of cans. Hick doesn't crush them, either. I see a pattern...
DeleteWe have recycle cans all over the park, yet I will go out to the dumpster and see that someone has spent the weekend in a beer stupor, they have even taken the time to keep the cans separate ...... and instead of placing the bag in the recycle can, they will put it in the dumpster. Drives me nuts.
ReplyDeleteThough circumstantial evidence might convict him, I can provide Hick with an alibi for whatever the date of the weekend in question...oh, wait! Hick would never carry a bag to the dumpster.
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