Hick in the Money Depository With an Attitude

The car-buying episode of the sitcom of Val's life has not yet rolled the credits. We are waiting for the insurance check, which quite possibly is held up waiting for The Pony's statement. He has been playing phone tag all week with the insurance adjuster. Anyhoo...it's a formality that may or may not hold up the check for now. That money is not the big deal, it's the title and tax statement form that we need to transfer license on the car within 30 days.

When Hick went to buy a car that Friday after Thanksgiving, I assumed he would do it the way we always do, and get a cashiers check from our savings institution to pay the dealer. HO HO HO! That's what I get for assuming! Hick called me on the way home from that transaction, (The Pony driving the new used car ahead of him) to say that he gave the dealer the check. Further questioning revealed that Hick did NOT give the dealer a cashier's check, but rather gave him the check I had sent along to put down a good faith deposit to hold the car while going to get the cashier's check.

Hick wrote a personal check for quite a few thousand dollars.

I am well aware of how Hick's brain works, what with him dropping $1000 here on shoe inserts, and $1700 there on a surprise new lawnmower, and many times that on a new used tractor at the MoDOT equipment auction. So I carry a little padding in our checking account that Hick doesn't need to know about. It is not generally enough to buy a car, though. Even a small used 2013 SUV.

"Uh...I thought you were getting a cashier's check! You need to stop by that savings & loan branch on the way home and get me a check to deposit in the checking account tomorrow morning. AND they're going to put a 10-day hold on it! Our bank does that on EVERYTHING except cash."

"They won't on a cashier's check."

"You just try it! That's why I always take cash out of the boys' credit union accounts to put in checking and cover their college expenses. That way it's available right then. A check, even from the credit union across town, takes 10 days."

"I'll take it down there myself on the way home. Anyway, I told the car guy I had to transfer some money. He said they know people have to do that, and they'll hold a check for 20 days. [Yeah, right. It cleared the next business day. Please, please do not offer to sell Hick any swampland in Florida, or the London Bridge.] Then they'll come looking for me. We don't have the title yet, you know. Anyway, I didn't want to get the check and drive back up there. I'll go by the bank today. You won't have to deal with it."

So he did. Hick took a substantial cashier's check to the bank to make a deposit. And was told that the funds would be available after a 10-day hold. Apparently, Hick had a mini meltdown.

"What do you MEAN it's not available? I bought a car, and wrote a check, and now I have the money in a cashier's check to cover it! I paid $4.00 to get it! That's what a CASHIER'S CHECK is FOR! So you know the money is good! You're telling me it's not?"

"Sir, that's our policy on deposits over BLAH BLAH BLAH."

"I want to talk to somebody about this!"

So he did. And they said it would be available the next business day. But snidely made a comment of, "You don't really have to worry about that anyway, because you have $XXXXX in your checking account."

Thanks, bank. For outing me.

Still, that money is spoken for, what with me forking over a year's worth of monthly checks at my former workplace to cover the health insurance premiums, which they deposit once a month. And there was the credit card payment that included Hick's Sweden expenses that hadn't cleared yet, plus Hick's direct deposit check for his monthly wages that went in that day...so even though it seemed to him like we were rich, we were actually just comfortable, like we are every month.

As Even Steven would have it, to further make Hick look like an unreasonable hothead (not that I care) to the bank staff...that very afternoon in the mail I received a check from my financial advisor Eddy D Jones for money that had to be taken before the end of the year, resulting from a retirement account my mom had there.

I took it to the bank Saturday morning for deposit, fully expecting to be told it would be available in 10 days. I went to the drive-thru and sent it inside through the tube. Within a minute, my receipt came back, and a Thank You.

Heh, heh. I'm pretty sure the teller saw the names on that deposit slip, and thought, "OH CRAP!!! That's the guy who was in here just before we closed yesterday, having a fit about the hold!"

Funny how the same thing happened yesterday with Hick's yearly bonus check that has ALWAYS been subject to a 10-day hold, even though it's from the same company that has paid him by direct deposit every month for 20 years. No hold this time!

Meanwhile, the man who struck such fear into these bank employees was off playing SANTA for preschoolers.