Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday #39 "Rapunzel Lets Her Hair Down"

Blog buddy Sioux is hosting Back-of-the-Book-Blurb Friday. I have 150 words to convince you to fake-buy my fake book. Who's up for a modern-day fairy tale? Get off your pea-lumped mattress, princess! Pull on your new clothes made for you by the emperor's tailor. Grab a basket of goodies and head through the woods to Grandmother's house. And on the way, trade some magic beans for Val's new fake book. C'mon! Don't make me shove you in the oven! Fake-buy your fake copy today!

Rapunzel Lets Her Hair Down

Rapunzel thought she was in love with the dude who walked under her window one day. When he said he would show her the world, Rapunzel had higher expectations than the back seat of his car. Now she's in a pickle. And pretty sure she's not in love.

Lucky for Rapunzel, a beautiful woman on a horse comes to her rescue when Dude stops for gas. "You don't take a back seat to nobody, gal! Now shuck off them gladrags and hop on up here with me! I'll let you ride in front. We'll show that Dude who's in charge here."

Fueled by the PBR fire in her belly, Rapunzel mounts the steed. Will Rapunzel and the lady become poster gals for women's rights? Jump that steed across the Grand Canyon? Star in a movie? Concoct a recipe for delicious chocolate? Get your copy today to find out. (148 words)

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Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book

Cousin Itt (translated by Morticia)..."I found this fake book to be quite hair-raising! Not the subject matter, but the slipshod method of fake writing. Thevictorian's work should in no way should be considered art." 

Marge Simpson..."Turning this piece of trash into a marketable fake book would be a tall order. I think my sister Selma's iguana, Jub-Jub, has more writing talent than this fake author."

Fabio…"I can't believe it's not selling! Yes I can. This fake book is so bad that I would not allow my picture on the cover for ANY amount of money."

Andy Rooney's Eyebrows…"We are turning over in our grave! This fake author is out of control!”

Emmylou Harris..."I've had gray hair since I was a toddler, but reading this fake book turned my tresses white overnight. Hey. That rhymes. Somebody could write a song about it."

Steve Carrell's Chest Hair…"We would rather be ripped out by the roots than sit here on Steve's chest while he reads this fake book. Better plug up your virgin ears if you don't want to hear high-decibel expletives.”

Every Arena Band from the 80s…"We love this fake book SO much that we couldn't put it down to take another hit of [insert abusive substance of choice here]. Hahaha! Said not a single one of us! EVER! ”

John Travolta in Character for Saturday Night Fever..."Don't touch the fake book!"

Fonzie..."Ayyy. That's what I'd say if I had written this fake book, because it would be perfectimundo. Unfortunately for Thevictorian, even punching this thing with my fist won't make it readable."

Willie Nelson, the Redheaded Stranger…"Nothing could be any stranger than this fake book. I don't mean that in a good way. I don't know what Thevictorian was smokin' when she fake-wrote this thing, but I sure needed a whole busload of something stronger in order to forget the experience of reading it."