It's been a strenuous two weeks. Some people might plan ahead, and have their preparations ready before then. But not Val. Let the record show that I wore out a pair of scissors. I wondered why my right thumb kept having gunk all over it. Gunk that reminded me of graphite. I just thought I was a dirty bird, and wiped it off every time I noticed. Then I picked up the scissors and felt a pinch.
Wore 'em plumb out, I did. When I laid them down for a picture, a piece of plastic fell off from the crack in the handle. It's not like I was using the delicate scissors designated for gossamer wing trimming. These are regular scissors that one would expect to cut through wrapping paper. Without breaking. Without pinching. I don't mean for blog buddy Joe H to have a flashback of remorse. I was using the living room scissors, the ones designated for the job. However...after their destruction at my own hand, I had to bring the kitchen shears in to finish the job.
Lest you think that wrapping gifts for the men of the homestead is a simple task...here's a photo of the injury I suffered on Thursday.
That is from the tape. A brand name, even! Scotch tape. The tear-off teeth are all wonky. You can't rip off a piece of tape like you're supposed to. You have to bring that ribbon of tape sideways, so the edge of the ribbon is over the middle of the tear-off teeth. It was not just that one roll. The one after it did the same. Let the record show that I bought 3 packs, which is 9 rolls, of this tape. Caveat emptor, people! Caveat emptor!
For the first time, I have piled the presents all under the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree that The Pony didn't put up until Wednesday, and didn't finish decorating until Thursday. Don't worry! I'll leave it up until Easter. Or the 4th of July. I like the glow of my Christmas tree lights at night.
The boys usually go to bed Christmas Eve with only a couple of lesser presents showing under the tree. Then they get up Christmas morning, and see the pile. I guess it's no secret anymore that I'm the one putting them there. Oh, the years of coming home from dinner and game-playing at my sister the ex-mayor's wife's house, only to spend most of the night finishing the wrapping, and setting out the gifts and filling the stockings. All while Hick snoozed the sleep of the simple, leaving these duties to me.
The stockings are sorted into separate Walmart bags with care, and rather than carefully apportion each one's contents in the early morning hours (HEY! HE GOT ONE MORE RED HERSHEY KISS THAN I DID!), all I need to do is put them inside the stocking. Yes, that part of Christmas is much easier now.
It's getting all parts of the dinner ready at the same time that weighs on my mind.
Have you tried serving appetizers on Thursday, salad on Friday. the entree on Christmas Eve & dessert on Christmas?
ReplyDeleteNo. My diners want to consume massive quantities over the space of 10 minutes.
DeleteI always waited until about 1:00 with everyone to sleep and me three sheets to the wind bring out all the presents, hang and fill the stockings and the coup de gras, candy canes on the tree..."Let The Magic Begin!!" SO much more fun with little ones around. Now we don't even have a tree. Still it is a fun day.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas!!
Yeah, that was me, except for the windy sheet part.
DeleteStay away from vampires while you're bleeding. Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI'll make a note-to-self. I have not invited one in, so I should be safe for the moment.
DeleteA few frozen pizzas, stashed away in the freezer, would eliminate your worrying over the holiday meal.
ReplyDeleteIt would also lead to a revolt among the diners. I'm trying to cut down on pitchforks and flaming torches.
DeleteThe timing is critical if you want everything to be the correct temperature when you finally get to park yourself at the table. Even with just two of us. Funny how it is all over in a matter of minutes, then the clean up begins while the man of the house snoozes.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW! I probably spent 40 hours getting all the provisions, fretting over how to stagger cooking times, putting them together, setting them out, Jenga-ing the leftovers back into Frig II, and washing all the real dishes (without a dishwasher, you know) for a meal that lasted, tops, 15 minutes.
Delete"Sleep of the simple" LOL! I was also jenga-ing the dishes in both fridge and oven.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, we have the Original FRIG over in the BARn, so I can get things ready ahead of time and send them over there for safe-keeping. It's after they become leftovers that I have to Jenga the most.
DeleteI have dishes that cook at the same temperature, and some that I do ahead. So the oven is like an international airport with specific flight patterns laid out.