Saturday, November 5, 2016

Mr. Shocky Needs to Book the Next Flight

Puppy Jack has been a bad, bad boy.

It's bad enough that he chases the chickens, and sometimes pulls out a tail feather. At least he's never killed one. Even though Hick found one dead right beside the chicken house this morning. I saw it there last night when I was giving them water, and I think it's been there a few days, because I smelled something dead the day Hick left.

Anyhoo...at least Jack used to stop, eventually, when we hollered at him for chasing the chickens. That's when he was brazen enough to do it in front of us. One afternoon, I heard such a ruckus from within the concrete walls of my dark basement lair that I thought a massacre was in progress. The chickens get up under the porch, and there was a cacophony of fowl screams. I feared that one of the neighbor dogs had invaded, and actually got up off my ample rumpus and went upstairs to look out.

When I stepped out onto the porch, I heard the chickens squawking and Jack yipping. I hollered at him a couple times, and then a white chicken shot out the opposite end of the porch from where the noise was, and Jack soon followed. I had the BB gun in my hand (from my childhood, not like one of those modern pump-up models) in case it was a neighbor dog. I hollered at Jack to stop. Not in so many words. Just, "JACK! NO!" But he kept going, so I drew a bead on his long little side, and pulled the trigger. Those BBs move so slow out of that old toy that you can watch them fly through the air. You have to aim high, because the BB drops by the time it gets there.

Let the record show that Val is a pretty good shot. That BB hit Jack in his middle, and I swear he jumped straight up in the air, did a 180, and looked in my direction like "WTF?" It has not done anything to stop his chicken-chasing, though, so we are going to go the shock collar route. The sooner the better.

Friday night, Jack took off after one of the guineas, because all the chickens were roosting in the trees. I hollered at him several times. I was even down in the yard, right by him when he took off.


Guineas are not really built for flying, you know. But this annoying guy made it to the porch roof, and then up onto the ridge cap. Jack couldn't figure it out. He ran around and around the porch, barking and looking for it. He's a stubborn little imp.

The guinea (they are noisy, mean birds who grab the chickens by their tail feathers and sling them around, and monopolize any treat such as strawberry tops that you might throw out for the chickens) stayed up there about 20 minutes. I know when he came down, because I was inside the house, and heard a giant THUD on the metal porch roof. I guess he flew to that level, and then on down.

Jack is going to give one of those fowl a heart attack if we don't get him trained.

Let the record show that Jack was unharmed by the shooting incident.

13 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Okay, ya got me there.

      Let the record show, though, that Jack is not a colossal squid with an eye the size of a dinner plate. His long body gave me a pretty good size target.

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    2. Hard to put an eye out when he's running away from you, unless he has them on both ends!!

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  2. It's good to know that no puppies were harmed in the making of this post.

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    1. Jack is fine, and still loves me enough to stick his quick, extra long tongue into my mouth when I talk to him. His choice. Definitely not mine.

      He was more upset when I put him in the garage yesterday evening for chasing the neighbor's horse. Not so much chasing, as yipping obnoxiously at its feet while the horse gave him the stink-eye. I finished my other two laps with Jack a captive.

      Let the record further show that Jack did NOT run across the road tonight, even though the horse tempted him. When I said, "JACK! NO!" he turned to look (guiltily) over his shoulder at me. Or maybe he was just looking to see if I had a BB gun.

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  3. The description of the relative impotence of the BB gun made me laugh.

    Actually, the entire thing did, but that in particular.

    Poor Jack.

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    1. I wish I could have captured his airborne pirouette, and that look of disbelief on his face!

      Jack is hard-headed, and needs to learn the consequences of his actions. It will be difficult to overcome his inborn chasing tendencies, I fear.

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  4. Val--A shock collar prodded Radar to stop digging. We didn't even have to put it on the "shock" setting. Just the vibration/buzzing did it for him.

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    1. Good to know! I hate the thought of possibly hurting my little Jack. Even though I cold-bloodedly shot him with a 1960s BB gun.

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  5. Jack is a little thick headed or else very determined. Val is a sharpshooter with a not so sharp BB gun.

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    1. His thick-headedness is what makes him Puppy Jack. We had a beagle who was hard-headed like that, but I did not love him nearly as much. Shh...I don't want my fleabags to sense that they are not like human children, where siblings are loved equally.

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  6. I also keep a BB gun at the ready for just such an occasion. It can be used very effectively without doing permanent damage.

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    1. Yes. Hick has threatened to get the paintball gun after the neighbor dog who TWICE has chased my Sweet, Sweet Juno across our own yard, and gotten her down during a vicious attack. Hick was there to break it up both times, but the first time Juno had a bite on her shoulder and limped for a couple days.

      That neighbor dog is lucky that Hick is too lazy to go buy a new CO2 cartridge for the paintball gun. We complained to the neighbors, and the dog has been put up for several months, but still gets loose and comes over here.

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