Thar She Blows!
Marge Blunderson can’t take it much longer. She married for better or for worse, ‘til death did her husband part. Marge is ready for the parting. Her betrothed never mentioned his fishing addiction. The evening of the wedding, rather than carry Marge over the honeymoon threshold, Cappy A. Hab grabbed a fishing pole and headed for the lake.
Marge saw how it was going to be. She was amazed that Cappy found time to put a bun in her oven. His prosthetic leg doesn’t slow his fishing obsession in the least.
Marge has reverted to her maiden name. Her career in law enforcement taught her that a woodchipper is not an option. Cappy says catfish will eat almost anything. Cappy is not long for this union.
Will Marge start fishing as a hobby? Will she ever have a shortage of bait? Will she remember to buy a fishing license? (149 words)
Fake Reviews for Val’s Fake Book
Theodore Bundy…”I was just telling these cute college girls the other day, 'This has got to be the worst fake book I ever read.' Then I invited one over to help me burn it, because it's hard to strike that match with my arm in a cast.”
The Zodiac Killer…”I sent a letter to the newspaper last week. Among other things, it said, 'Oiwoeihgl Val Thevictorian nvlxiuej jwi swooouyi fake book kuoli wejhcuy kuoieumc piece of crap.”
Jeffrey Dahmer…”Thevictorian's fake book left a bad taste in my mouth. And for me...that's sayin' something.”
Jack the Ripper…”I am quite willing to offer my services to Val Thevictorian. It seems that her fake book's manuscript could have benefited from some major cutting.”
John Wayne Gacy…”I'm not clowning around. Val Thevictorian's fake book reeks of no talent. The fake plot stinks. It needs to be buried where it can never be found.”