Thursday, December 3, 2015

Something Tells Me He's Gonna Get PEEnalized For That One of These Days

We picked up the mail this evening and The Pony read me the return addresses.

"Here's one from Slate. And one from American Family. And one from Edward D. Jones. And one from pmlajaysmthtn."

"What? What was that last one?"

"One from pmlajaysmthtn."

"Say it slower. I didn't get it."

"Pmeluh J. Smithton."

"What? Camilla? J. Smithton? When did someone else get elected? That sounds like--"

"Not Camilla. Pmeluh. The county collector."

"That's what I thought. It's our tax receipts. But that's not her name. It's--"


"No. That's not it. Spell it."

"P-A-M-E-L-A. Puh-MELL-uh."

"Oh! Pamela!"

"Ha ha ha. No! Puh-MELL-uh!"

"Um. That is pronounced PAM-uh-luh."

"No it isn't! You never hear anybody being called PAM-uh-luh!"

"I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. HAR-BRINGER of Spring, that you will most likely be PEE-nal-ized if you call some girl that at college. There you'll be, walking up to a girl from your class, saying, 'Hello, Puh-MELL-uh. Would you care to join me for a bite of supper in the dining hall this evening?' And she'll keep on walking, not even look at you, because her name is obviously not Puh-MELL-uh, but rather PAM-uh-luh. And you'll think she was snobby and rude and hurt your feelings on purpose. When in reality, she didn't even know you were talking to her. Because her dang name is pronounced PAM-uh-luh. Not freakin' Puh-MELL-uh!"

"That's not going to happen. Nobody names their daughter Puh-MELL-uh these days."

"That's RIGHT! Because nobody EVER named their daughter Puh-MELL-uh!"

SOMEBODY needs to get his nose out of a laptop, his butt off of the couch, and climb to the front seat of T-Hoe and experience life in the real world for a while.


  1. Tee hee, you said Peenal-ized!

  2. OR find a girlfriend who is willing to drive The Pony around... while The Pony sits in the back seat.

    1. What The Pony doesn't realize yet is that ANY man can get a woman. We talk about it at the lunch table all the time. Convicted murderer on death row? Some gal will correspond with him and marry him. ANY man can get a woman. Even a 17-year-old who won't talk to them except by text, who prefers to be driven around in the back seat of an SUV.

  3. Replies
    1. The Pony is a stickler for details. Since "Pam" would be the diminutive of "Pamela," The Pony would insist that the diminutive of "Puh MELL uh" was "Puh."

  4. My grandmother, an old Jewish woman, used to add the diminutive, "ela", to the names of people she liked. I was Fransela & my husband was Budela. I once brought a friend named Pamela over & my grandmother asked me, "What am I supposed to call her--Pamelela?"

    1. Heh, heh!

      She might have created a new tongue-twister if she met me...Valela.

  5. Yep. There's only so much a Pony can learn from the virtual, read only world. Like, not knowing how a word is PRO-nounced leads to CHAOS.

    1. Actually, The Pony needs to learn MORE from the virtual, read only world. We were fussing over Puh MELL uh this afternoon on the way home, and he poked my shoulder through the headrest of T-Hoe's driver's seat. Which he was not IN, of course. I was careening down the blacktop hill toward the flood-prone low water bridge. I had told him earlier in our ride not to poke me on the shoulder like that. He was being a pest.

      "Whoa, Mary Jo Kopechne! What are you trying to do, create your very own Chappaquiddick? I almost drove off the bridge!"

      "I don't know what you're talking about."

      "Huh. Google it. K O P E C H N E."

      "I would first have to know how to spell Chappaquiddick."

      So I spelled it for him. Because I can. I'm a VALedictorian, you know.

      "You won't need to know it, though. I guarantee that if you type in Kennedy and Chap...the rest of it will pop up for you."

      And I thought that boy was good at history!

  6. Got me laughing out loud this morning. I can really see you having that conversation. Gotta love 'em anyway.

    1. That Pony can argue like a lawyer. I don't know if you saw the original pEEnalize post. Here's a link:

  7. Oh, bad advice. Once he gets the taste of the re-ALL world, all hope is lost.

    1. Yes. Who knows WHAT manner of pEEnalization will befall The Pony once he leaves the paddock and kicks up his heels!