Thursday, December 24, 2015

For Those Of You Who Have a College Genius Home For the Holidays

Val is never quite as stupid as when Genius is home to point it out to her.

Wednesday morning, we were off to meet my best ol' ex-teaching buddy Mabel for breakfast. I had promised Genius that he could drive MY NEW CAR to town. It's only five miles, you know. And ten minutes. But alas. A morning storm blew in, and I refused to move my baby out of the garage. Still, Genius wanted to catch up with Mabel (I'm sure the free breakfast had nothing to do with his motives) and went along anyway, to spend an hour with us before being picked up by a college buddy to run some errands in town.

The problem with sudden storms in Backroads is that the creeks begin to rise. As we approached EmBee, I saw that water was running halfway up a concrete bridge support by our mailboxes.

"We'll have to go around the long way. That other bridge will be underwater."

"No it won't."

"Yes it will. I know how high this one can get before that one goes under. Just a couple of weeks ago, this one was right at halfway up, and The Pony and I took a chance. We had to turn around, like the two trucks ahead of us, and go the other way."

"You are ridiculous. That bridge will be fine."

"I think not. I guarantee you it is under."

"Okay. GUARANTEE me, then."

I swear I detected a mocking tone in Genius's voice! And he was almost downright huffy. Still. I was behind the wheel of T-Hoe. So off we went. The long way.

After socializing, then some errands on my part, I headed back home. Still, I knew the main bridge was under. But I wanted to prove it to the man-about-town Genius. I drove all the way to it. Took a photo.

And emailed it (because texting a photo is not in my electronic gewgaw repertoire) to Genius with only the words...

"My guarantee."


  1. There is nothing as rewarding as a good "I told you so!"

    1. Exactly! I was ever so happy to drive five minutes out of my alternate way to take a picture of this water I was SURE was over the bridge, and five minutes back to the county highway to continue on the alternate way home.

  2. Good thing you didn't have to drive through that. I hope you and your wonderful family have a warm, dry and very merry Christmas.

    1. Thanks. So dry today that we actually took MY NEW CAR for a spin. Hope that you and Mrs. C and CJ had a wonderful Christmas as well.

  3. Why didn't you add "I told you so"?

    Good mothers are always willing to go overboard when it comes to bringing their genius sons down a notch...

    1. That is 14 extra characters, Madam, that my technology-challenged fingers did not want to type. It's all about me. Not Genius.

  4. Replies
    1. One of these days, Genius is going to realize that. If only I had let him eat the 24-hour pizza...

  5. At some point, genius children have to realize that age old paradox - that they got their genius from their stupid parents. Life is grand.

    1. This afternoon, I let Genius drive MY NEW CAR back from my sister and the ex-mayor's house. Hick rode in back with The Pony.

      "How do you adjust the climate control back here, Val?"

      "I don't know. I'll have to read the manual."

      "Mom. It's one button."


      "The one that says, 'Rear Control.'"

      "I don't see it, Pony."

      Genius reached over, while driving MY NEW CAR, mind you, and pushed a button. "Right there."

      "Our kids are SO smart! They take after me of course."

      No word from Hick, trying to figure out how to control his climate.

  6. I like the warning tape which advises all who approach that there is a raging river and not a bridge ahead. Of course there are still numbnuts who are sure THEY can just drive across anyway.

    1. I know, right? We saw a little red truck downstream one year. It took four days before somebody hauled it out.

      This flood is only about 3 feet over the bridge deck. It sometimes goes as far as the road-horizon you see at the top of the picture. That guy still has not replaced his fence since last time.