Hear that sizzle? The drip of fat hitting flame? Detect the aroma of tender, succulent meat being grilled to perfection? Feel your salivary glands rejoice as the juices squirt from that first bite of pork butt onto your anticipating tongue? You know what season this is. It's the season of--
REEEEE!
I hope, for your sake, you don't have such a vivid imagination. Because there's a little mistype in that passage above. We're not really talking about pork butt. We're talking about...um...you might want to grab a bucket real quick-like...because what we have here is...so sorry...a reference to VAL butt! My apologies. I didn't mean to make anyone queasy. Okay, yes I did. I'm an imp like that. But I gave you warning with the bucket. Now lets get back to the reason for the season.
That's right. It's the season of submissions! Summertime! Val vacation. So she has lit a fire under her own butt in order get something constructive done while she has daylight to burn.
At 12:37 p.m, I sent in the registration for The Pony and me to attend a writing conference in July. Uh huh. After planning to do this since March, when I first heard about it, I finally got around to it. Which is not to be confused with a ROUND TUIT, which was a rip-off, really, a mere circle cut out of cardboard that my high school trig teacher handed out to us on the first day of class, declaring that we had no reason not to turn in our assignments on time because he knew we all would not be waiting until we got a ROUND TUIT.
Yep. The Pony has been goading me for a couple of weeks now. I kept planning to get 'er done, but stuff came up. Now the deed has been accomplished. I even put The Pony's own email address on his, though I did not make him pay his own way, so I imagine he got the email confirmation while in the middle of helping oversee a gaggle of kindergarteners during his tutoring session today. He will be so proud of me.
Now all I have to do is get my submissions ready. Not a big deal. I have quite a stable of suitable steeds to run in this race. A couple of them are even chomping at the bit. I will rein them in, though. Take them out for some intervals. Then make sure they cool down, and curry them until they shine. Besides, I still have A WEEK left to get them to the track.
It's not like the bugler has just now lifted his horn for the call to the post.
Hooray for you! I'd be glad to take a look at your butt
ReplyDeleteload of writing if you want.
You are so very kind! Dare I point my butt your way? I feel like Marla Hooch in a league of her own, being groomed by the etiquette instructors. I promise to reveal nothing. And to make sure I have TWO eyebrows.
DeleteBe careful what you offer. I might shoot a couple of my little tur...STORIES your way!
Val--Be careful what offer you take Linda up on. She'll shoot your story back to you faster than a speeding bullet, each story accompanied by suggestions and encouragement... and then will prod and poke until you write some more.
ReplyDeleteI hope you post--after the conference--to tell us how it went and what you learned. Will you be wearing a disguise so your fans won't swarm?
I gave Catalyst your reply. You'll have to leg-wrestle him for it, AND the title of "Madam." I'm counting on you to prevail. Don't make me write a post called "Catalyst is the New Madam."
DeleteYou go, girl!
ReplyDeleteYou, Madam, are psychic. I shall set up a table for you beside the counter in my proposed handbasket factory. You have to bring your own crystal ball, but I will split the proceeds from your readings 50/50. That's a better deal than Hick is getting on his purloined cast iron snaky birdy decorative gewgaws. Oh, and I am entitled to one free reading per month.
DeleteI don't think I will need a disguise just yet. I'm pretty much ignorable, except for those weirdos who always think I work at whatever establishment they see me in, and come up asking questions about where to find stuff. Folks will probably come up and ask me if I know where the writers are!
OOPSEY! I didn't mean to call you "Madam," sir! That was obviously meant for Sioux. I blame BLOGGER! I have a good mind to ask for my money back that I spend on this service each month!
DeleteJust call me Caitlyn.
DeleteHeh, heh. Don't you have a magazine cover to shoot?
Delete