Just this morning, right after I returned from dropping off The Pony at his summer tutoring assignment, the phone rang. I normally don't pick up if I don't recognize the number, but in case it had something to do with The Pony, or maybe my blood test results, I answered.
Great Googly Moogly! I won a cruise! That's right! I had been chosen to receive a cruise to--I don't know. Because that kind of call is always a scam. So I hung up. I didn't enter any cruise contest.
Five minutes later, the phone rang again. Like I said, I normally don't pick up if I don't recognize the number, but in case it had something to do with The Pony, or maybe my blood test results, I answered. Great Googly Moogly! The IRS is filling a lawsuit against me! They have been trying to reach me, and I need to call--no I don't. Because that kind of call is always a scam. So I hung up. The IRS contacts by mail. Not by phone or email.
Oh, but Even Steven has been busy since Friday! That's when I received a check in the mail. Since my sister the ex-mayor's wife and I have been settling our mom's estate, we have been getting intermittent monetary rewards in various amounts from assorted sources. We never know how long it's going to take. So I was pleased that this shoe had finally dropped, even though it seems we've been dealing with a well-shod millipede.
I think Even Steven might be in cahoots with Hick. I can't prove their connection, but on Saturday, Hick spent my most recent inheritance, plus $190.01 extra. That's not very EVEN, Steven! Here's what he got for my money:
One thing's for certain. It will all balance out.
If it doesn't, perhaps you will receive some money from Nigeria. I know I'm still waiting...any day now.
ReplyDeleteJoe, I think that Nigeria thing MAY be a scam. I've sent them my info for 5 years straight & I'm yet to receive anything!!
DeleteSo YOU TWO are the reason we can't get our money from Nigeria! You are monopolizing their time.
DeleteI'm still waiting for the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes people to come to my house.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what the hold-up is?
I think they took a left turn at Nigeria.
DeleteI don't know how you can be so suspicious, Val. Those Nigerians who called even knew my name!
ReplyDeleteI'd say Joe gave your name to them. Putting the rest of us at the back of the line.
DeleteHey Val, watch out for the computer fixers from across the sea. One argued with me that Mr. William okayed him. OKAY! I hung up on him. Okay? As for Hick, a man of many purchases, you have to hop on a deal while it's hot. Your money is easy come, easy go.
ReplyDeleteI have had multiple calls from those folks calling about my "Windows Computer." I hang up, too, after hollering "SCAMMERS!" It makes me feel empowered.
DeleteI plan to hop on Hick's deal and ride in style to the poorhouse. Dragging him behind.
But...the Prince of Nigeria told me I was the only one he was contacting with an incredible offer. Now what am I to think?
ReplyDeleteJoe gave him your name, and told him to say you were the only one. That's because Joe thinks the Prince of Nigeria loves to play phone pranks, and to show his gratitude, he will put a rush on Joe's money.
DeleteI don't answer unfamiliar numbers, either. Guess that's why I never win anything. Hope you have plans for Hick's inheritance.
ReplyDeleteYou are missing out on a lot of money from Nigeria. After an extended wait, of course.
DeleteThank goodness we have paid off all the "inheritances" I gained by marrying Hick! Since he makes twice my salary, I would say that by retirement, we will reach the Evenness of Steven.
I forgot to say--your title stumped me. I know (or at least I think I know) the title.
ReplyDeleteAaargh!
The Four Seasons. "Let's Hang On." NOT Barry Manilow.
Delete