Monday, July 1, 2013

It's All Over But the Roof-Cryin'

I think it's safe to let this cat out of the bag now. Ninety-nine percent sure. So I'm going to let it slip. Let it rip. Run where it may. Whirl around the innernets like an over-full balloon just released, screaming willy-nilly to and fro.

Last week I sent off my final approval on the galleys of my upcoming story that is about to be published in Not Your Mother's Book...On Home Improvement. Sunday I got the go-ahead to share this information.

Short of me committing an unknown, unforgivable, prima donna faux pas, that little story, along with its 64 companions, went to print today. It should be released on September 10th. Yum, yum, get you some! My very own mother has already committed herself to three copies. Because I'm her nine-dollar daughter, you know. She's grabbing one copy for herself, and two for gifts. I'm sure the NYMB line will be able to survive on Mom's loyal business.

Here's the cover:

My tale is about a Hick-rigged lamp. You may think you know what it's like to share a domicile with a lesser-known MacGyver, but you have no idea. I didn't mention this in the story, because it's on a need-to-know basis. And as my loyal readers, you need to know: No headless basement men were harmed in the rigging of this lamp. That's a story for another anthology.

Even if you don't feel like paying to read a Valerism when you can get the milk for free right here, consider other uses for this tome. It can prop a mean table leg, dispatch a creepy crawler, sit on your coffee table until you get a book about coffee tables, start a couple of hundred fires for you in survival mode, give you somewhere to look instead of making eye contact with strangers in waiting rooms, on subways, city buses, and the MetroLink. Start saving now. Don't let those trees die in vain.

My doctor is already camping out in line for his free autographed copy.

Oh, and I didn't disturb the rooftop peace back on June 2nd, but I have also been informed that my story about cheese-cutting will be included in Not Your Mother's Book...on Being a Parent. Also scheduled for release September 10, 2013.

Two stories! In two books! Both being released on the same day! I'm going to call that a bifecta. A headband trick. The Double Crown of Val anthology publication.

WooHoo! I'm a little fish in a big pond!


  1. Congratulations! I see a book signing in your future...and a car full of rowdy women writers headed your way to heckle...

  2. I would expect no less from a Victorian!

  3. CONGRATS! that's way to cool to keep mum about.

  4. YAYAYYYYY!! Congratulations woman!! Doesn't it feel tremendous, Writer with a capital 'W'!

  5. Sioux,
    Well, as long as you remember there's not enough 44 oz. Diet Cokes in Backroads for everybody.

    Rumors of my adequacy have been greatly exaggerated.

    Thank you. I AM excited, but feel guilty for the trees giving their lives for my folly.

    Thanks. You won't catch ME hiding my dim bulb under a paper condiment cup.

    Thank you. Now I can be even snootier than my mere valedictorianship permitted. I might need my glasses adjusted, what with looking so far down my nose at others. Hope my broken arm heals quickly from all this self-back-patting, because it will be hard to climb up on my pedestal with that cast. OR...I can continue the status quo, and soundly procrastinate additional submissions while entertaining grandiose thoughts of further publication.

  6. Congrats on the publications! I had to sneak over from Sioux's Page to check out your news.
    I have a story in the Home Improvement one, too, hooray!

    Critter Alley

  7. Pat,
    Way to go! My story is not my favorite, but it's the one they picked. So I will love it equally with the one they did not pick. I'll look for yours when it comes out!