The latest product receiving an unfavorable review here at Val's Gripatorium is Great Value Heavy-Duty Paper Plates. Not those Chinet cardboard-type platters that can hold an entire Thanksgiving dinner. The regular, everyday, crimped-edge paper plates with a greaseproof coating. They come in a flimsy newsprint-thickness version, but that one's not on my radar today.
The plates work just fine. They are sturdy enough, yet not too thick. They're good for slicing onions, pickles, and tomatoes without juice soaking through while the fixin's sit on the counter to be added to hamburgers hot off Gassy G. And they can be used as our everyday china without dripping slaw or quesadilla runoff or french onion dip.
The problem is the latest package of Great Value heavy-duty paper plates. They are stuck together so tightly that it would be an upper-body workout for The Rock himself to pry them apart. I know that paper plates stick together. This brand has always needed some separation. But this recent batch is off the hook in togetherness. Every two plates are cemented together. Every two. No random stickage. Every two. It's not just one little corner of those round plates. A couple of crimps along the edge. Nope. These plates are like giant paper pita pockets, with an opening only large enough for a medium pickle slice to slip through.
I have to spin those plates round and round until I find the crack in their armor. Pry one finger inside and start working my way around the edge. The plates used to be attached by a mere two or three crimps, only along the edge. Like a clam shell. And it was a random placement every five, six, or seven plates through the stack. Now it takes considerable time and effort to rip them asunder. I think it's a scam. What are the odds that EVERY TWO PLATES are stuck together that tightly? Yes, I think it's a scam to make me buy twice as many plates. Some people might not even know that two plates are there. "Wow! These are really heavy-duty plates!" Not noticing that they are only getting half the amount listed on the package.
I haven't been this incensed since my Puffs With Aloe started having irregular or non-existent folds along the sides.
The paper products conspire against me.