Hick supplied a couple of Christmas gifts this year, by way of his Storage Unit Store inventory. Stuff he'd bought at auction, that he thought would be good for resale. They WERE! He sold them to US! For me to pay him some of the Christmas money.
Anyhoo... the Hick presents included a set of two pocket knives in a gift box, and a set of five kitchen knives in a box with a magnetic flap closure.
I already mentioned how my sister the ex-mayor's wife stabbed her thumb using the pocket knife we gave the ex-mayor, while she was cutting a plastic tie on a purse handle for her granddaughter.
Hick stopped by their house yesterday to pick up my dad's drill press that Ex-Mayor had taken shortly after my mom died. He didn't want it any more. I guess he's doing spring cleaning. Of course he knew the fastest way to get rid of an awkward item... Now it's come to live at Hick's Home For Unwanted Inherited Tools.
Anyhoo... while Hick was at their house chatting, the Ex-Mayor was making some lunch in the kitchen, using one of Sis's new knives. HE CUT HIMSELF!
Seriously! I had no idea that they couldn't use knives when we gave them the gifts! I didn't think we'd have to add a warning that KNIVES ARE SHARP AND MAY CUT THROUGH SKIN.
Let's just gloss over the fact that we were the purveyors of the implements Sis and Ex-Mayor used to maim themselves. Let's instead consider the irony...
Ex-Mayor loaned Sis his pocket knife, and she stabbed her thumb, so she can't hold her kitchen knives to slice foods.
Sis loaned Ex-Mayor her kitchen knife, and he cut his finger and can't grip his pocket knife.
Sometimes, these O. HICKery stories write themselves...
Maybe they will not accept gifts of sharp implements from you. I bet they both lived a long time without maiming themselves every time they turn around. Do you put a spell on the knives?
ReplyDeleteNo spell. I don't even have voodoo dolls of them! They'll have to develop their psychic abilities if they want to not-accept gifts of sharp implements from me! It's not like I wrap them where they can feel the sharp edge.
DeleteNext Christmas you'd better gift them each a pair of chainmail safety gloves such as those worn by butchers and deli assistants when using bone cutting saws or those electric slicing machines.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! I WILL do that, if Hick still has some of those gloves. He used to work for a company that manufactured saw blades for butchers, you know. We've had several pairs of those gloves over the years.
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