Have you run out of your March 2020 stash of toilet paper yet? We did. The Pony is my personal shopper. He had it on the list. Our preferred brand is Charmin Ultra Strong. Their slogan should be: Good For Ample Rumpuses. Last time he did the shopping, The Pony couldn't find it. In fact, there was only one pack left on the shelf, so he took it.
"I thought it might be good enough, Mom. It's Charmin Ultra Soft."
No. It was not the same. It was too soft. I guess that's how they came up with the name. But we managed. It took 4 squares instead of 3 to get the job done optimally.
Anyhoo... on The Pony's last shopping trip, he was again left to make a decision, seeing as how our favorite was out of stock.
"This time I got another kind. It says STRONG. So it should be better."
I assure you, sadly, that it is NOT. Not better than SOFT. Not at all STRONG. When I took the first squares off the roll, I thought it was a case of the two-ply being separated for a few squares. But no. The more I unrolled, the same single-ply remained.
IT TAKES 6 SQUARES OF STRONG TO DO THE JOB OF 3 SQUARES OF ULTRA STRONG!
I told The Pony, and he was shocked. He took a look, and he agreed. But at least he has been forewarned. I dropped a roll over the stair banisters to land on Genius's old desk, to put in the NASCAR bathroom when I went down to my dark basement lair later.
"NOOOO! It bounced off, and rolled across the floor, getting filthy with the dirt it gathered."
"Mom. It's not that dirty. Considering where it's going to end up."
That Pony! He has such a droll sense of humor.
Yes, I wonder who he got it from. 8D
ReplyDeleteNot from Hick, who was born without a funny bone!
DeleteSo you would have to spare several squares?
ReplyDeleteI can't spare ANY squares! Not even if somebody recognizes my voice.
DeleteHaHa, he's right I guess, but I would still unroll that first dusty layer and waste it, just as I do when I'm putting a new roll on the spindle and it drops to the floor instead, right beside the kitty litter box which is in the same room as it's the only possible place to put it.
ReplyDeleteBeing neither a pauper nor an idiot, OF COURSE I will tear off that first layer. Only the best for my ample rumpus. No dust bunnies allowed.
DeleteWhen did the "prove you are not a robot" thing happen here? I'm pretty sure it wasn't here yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI didn't change anything. I don't see it on my end (heh, heh, I said MY END, on the post about toilet paper).
DeleteI've seen it pop up occasionally on other blogs' comments, but not lately. As I recall, I entered a comment there without PROVING anything, and it still worked.
That's a guy for you! I would be upset to use tp that had collected stuff from the floor and then put it on my bottom.
ReplyDeleteI don't think The Pony meant to actually USE IT like that. He's a contrarian sometimes. Gets it from Hick, who would say the sky was red if I said it was blue.
DeleteYou didn't tell him to take that roll and stuff it with all the stuff on it?
ReplyDeleteI did not. The Pony is quite literal in his grasp of conversation.
DeleteThe "robot" thing is gone again.
ReplyDeleteGood riddance!
Delete